A/N; Hello my lovely readers, welcome to the prologue. I would like to say this, before you get too terribly comfortable in this story. I am terribly bad with keeping up with stories, and I'm terribly bad with keeping it interesting. So please, bare through the boring parts, it will get better I'm sure. Currently, I'm not sure where this is going, but I am sure it will have romance, as that is my forte. Let me know what you think, and happy reading. OH! the first paragraph, up until "You might guess that I would..." belongs here: .com/


Is it possible to be dead and alive at the same time? I ask myself everyday if it is, but I never get an answer. I even wonder if I want an answer, since most people who know me might say yes after I explain to them everything I remember doing as a kid. It's not a conversation that comes up often with friends, but when it does, it's usually the last conversation I ever have with that person. You might guess that I would stop explaining my life to friends, or even lie. I would think the same, if this feeling didn't always take over me right before they ask. The feeling of loneliness, missing connection. I know them, but they've never known me. It didn't feel fair. I've met dozens of people I'm sure. I remember them all, just as if it were yesterday. Their names, their faces. It never leaves me; I can only hope that I leave them. Those poor innocent minds, corrupted by my twisted words.

I continue to give the all familiar speech, always opening with a plead. Don't leave me; don't turn your back on me. As easily predicted, they always do. I've given the speech to everyone who has ever asked. But there is one person. They've never known the truth, they've never asked either, and I think for once, I am going to lie to them when they do finally ask. I can't handle the loneliness any longer. And if I'm to have someone by my side for life, it would be them. I feel connected to this person, it's a strange feeling. I've never felt it before, so I can only assume that's what connection feels like. For some unrealistic reason, something deep down inside of me, wants that person to be the one who doesn't walk away. One who doesn't abandon me in the dark abyss of my mind. Is it possible that it's what you would call connection?

To be dead, and alive, at the same time. I must believe that it is possible, at least, for now. My heart still beats life essential blood through my veins; my lungs still fill with sweet oxygen, my mind still commands my hands to flutter when I speak. I can only assume this makes me alive, those are the requirements right? It's only the feeling of death that I have. My mind thinks, runs through all possibilities, and not a single one can explain why the feeling of death follows me around so much. Am I the only one to feel both dead, and alive? I hear of others, but I've never met one. Maybe we are a secret society? The dreaded ones. The Dreadful Ones. Rejected by the upstanding society because they don't know what to do with us. Should we fix them? They ponder, but they know so much as us, that it's not an easy fix. We aren't worth it. So we form our own, form our own in webs of lies. Lies, and here I am, giving our secret away.