Hey guys! Thanks for reading! I know it has been so so so so long since I have updated, and I'm sorry! I've just been so busy with school and everything lately that I haven't had any time at all to write, which really sucks. So it took me a few months or so to come back to this, then I wrote it all pretty quick. Hopefully the next one won't take so long. Thanks for reading this far :) Feel free to leave any feedback you may have on what's happening or my writing style, etc. etc. Also, I have been focusing on a different story which I came back to after three years, but I'm loving it, so I hope you will too. I'll put it up A.S.A.P.
Hugs and kisses from Mon xoxo
The last few days went slowly as I began to speculate about Matty's feelings towards me. I also dreaded the fourteen hour flight home. Fourteen hours of boredom were on the way. Fourteen hours of doing nothing but thinking. Fourteen hours of depressing myself. No matter how much I wanted to go home, that made me want to stay.
I returned home on the day school went back. I needed at least another week to relax before going back to school, but, of course, I had to go the next day. I was still suffering a little from jet lag, but I made it through the day. I got a lot of my friends saying 'I missed you', but Matty's attitude was less enthusiastic than I had expected. Or hoped for. It felt like our almost 'intimate' conversation never happened, and we were back to how we were when I left. I had been hoping that it would be just for a few days, but it continued. I soon found out why he hadn't been as 'loving' towards me.
Over the holidays, the Youth Centre was showing a production of 'Alice in Wonderland.' I had wanted to participate, but my trip to America had crushed that idea. Matty was in the show, along with my friends Leteisha, Holly and Alysa, all of which were close acquaintances of Matty's. He was always flirty with them, and I guess I should have seen earlier the way he was with Alysa. When a friend pointed out the way they were, it became very obvious. I wondered if they were together, or if they were in the same position as I had been with Matty earlier. I asked my close friend, Naomi. She explained the situation to me briefly.
Apparently, Matty had asked Alysa to be his girlfriend, but Alysa had said 'maybe'. I wasn't sure how Alysa felt about Matty, so it put me in an awkward situation. I made a promise to talk to Alysa before I did anything rash.
I found it hard to talk to Alysa, so I just waited for the feelings to miraculously disappear. They didn't. I talked to my close friend, Broadie about what was going on. I wasn't expecting this response, but I should have been. I knew what Matty was like.
"Honey, really? He's such a sleaze. I can't believe what he did. He asked out Holly and then when she said no, he asked out Alysa the next day! He has done so many things to girls around here, and you don't want to go there." She reminded me of some other sleazy things he had done in the past, and surprisingly, my feelings almost instantly vanished. All it took was a nice long talk with Broadie, and I was back to being a happy single.
I enjoyed the week or so that I had without a certain love interest. Friends came to me for advice, and I was willing to somehow help them get the guy they wanted, though I couldn't get any myself. Jacinta, one of my closest friends, declared her feelings that she had towards somebody I had recently became friends with. His name was Matt. Maybe Jacinta would have better luck with that name than I had, but by the sounds of it, the name meant nothing but trouble to others as well. Jacinta and Matt were very close friends. They enjoyed each other's company, and Jacinta was looking for a step further, but was Matt? He seemed to be. Whenever they hung out, he showed definite signs of interest towards her. It was clear to all that there was something else present in their relationship, whether he wanted it or not. Jacinta had been waiting for two weeks for an answer to her question: "Did he want more from her?" He'd had plenty of time to think about it now, so she was a little equivocal on what his answer would eventually be.
I was tempted to ask him myself, but I figured it would be a little evasive. We had only just become friends, after all. As me and Matt began talking more and more regularly, I myself could feel something else developing. I knew it would never end well, but I encouraged the feelings as I would any other time. There wasn't any way to stop them, as far as I knew. The feelings never failed to take over me with all their might.
I began feeling worse and worse as the feelings grew and grew. Every time I saw Jacinta I felt a pang of guilt, and I had to tell her. There was no way I could keep it from her any longer. At every break I somehow ended up sitting with Matt, talking and making jokes, along with Jacinta and Jess. I should've guessed that Jacinta had already assumed what was going on between me and Matt. It would have been obvious. It always was. I was extremely relieved when Jacinta responded the way she did when I confessed my feelings.
"How could you have helped it?" she joked, followed by a hug. I smiled. No matter what happened, I would always love Jacinta. She was the best friend anybody could have. I just needed to work on my quality of treatment of those kinds of friends. I couldn't afford to lose them, especially over something like this. My own and other's advice said to forget Matt. If I really cared about Jacinta, I would get over Matt instantly. I tried, believe me, I tried.
I worried a lot about how Jacinta felt about the situation we were in, but talking about it so much actually made us closer. I was glad. I didn't want anything bad to happen to our friendship. I loved her too much to lose her.