Dear John,

it's 2 am & i'm thinking about you
how I used to fall asleep in your arms
the other night we were surrounded by stars
(& I don't know exactly know what to do)

how to tell you that you've changed
i've changed – we've grown apart
& the silence and differences
make us feel like strangers

I keep going back to that moment
over and over again, when I knew
I loved you (when I was so sure
that you were my soul mate)

I keep going over the plans
that never happened in the end
we were too busy in our
own heads; thinking, speaking

less & less; the skeletons
give me claustraphobia &
the voice that I can't find
slowly suffocates into sobs

(but you don't know why I cry
or why every time I see you
I feel disgust, or how the
bitter bile raises from my throat)

I wish I could go back to
that moment when I loved you
more than anything, but we've
paved a path that winds

& i'm sick of leaving
bread crumbs in hope
that you'll follow me
cause I know we're lost

& no amount of fairy tale
fantasies could lead us
back to each other:
life is not a happy ending

dear john, it's 2:15 am &
i'm sleeping beside you
wishing we were not miles
away from each other