There may come a point in your life where everything just sucks. Your hair's not right, someone looked at you the wrong way, nobody's ever listening. Unfortunately for me, my list goes on. The worst part is that you feel pain, constant pain, hatred and depression. After a while everything builds up so much that a part of you just wants to scream. While the other part wishes only to curl up into a ball and disappear. But that doesn't solve anything; no it worsens the ever deep feeling of sadness that is tearing within you. Sometimes it can feel as if you're the loneliest person in the world. So what do you do? Try to push it away and acts as if nothing's wrong, but where does that leave you now?

It's Complicated

My last class of the day will be ending in about twenty minutes, and from there my friends will meet up and share their "feelings" about the day. In other words they will sit eating strawberry ice cream complaining about everything and nothing. None of that mattered too much for me at the present moment. One reason was because I hadn't even bothered to go to the past two classes. The other reason was that I preferred nursing a coke and drowning in self pity than listen to pointless gossip. Even if I had gone to class like a good student would, things would have ended very badly. Being a walking time bomb just waiting to blow was not a good thing, so taking time off to chill, didn't seem like such a bad idea.

Walking towards me in a kind of manly strut that he was so proud of, was a boy (let me emphasize boy here) with a big foolish grin plastered on his face. Making sure I kept myself in check, I turned my head down to stare at some impossible calculus problem I was pretending to do. In my book, any sort of math was a waste of time, not to mention memorizing formulas is pointless. I mean it's not as if I'm going to become some kind of scientist or anything. Everyone knows that within a couple years the leaders will be assigning us to a landfill in the country to work. I hate to break it to all of you goodwill mathematicians, but I doubt we'll need to know how to do units conversion while shoveling crap up a hill.

With the noise in my head almost bursting from the long time of happy silence, gave me a hint that he was standing behind my chair. Not to mention that I could feel his presence practically bursting through my bubble, was not exactly a surprise. After taking some much needed deep breaths I looked up into his big brown cow eyes as they smiled down at me. In return I obliged in giving him a wonderfully vicious glare. "Well aren't you a ray of fucking sunshine." Taking in his overbearing happiness made my sneer ever more prominent without meaning to.

"What? Did mister honey bunch not give off enough last night?" How silly of me, I was just fueling his cruel humor.

"My personal life is none of you business Hayden and by the way, Terry wasn't even at my apartment last night. He said he had some important project he just had to do before morning." Feeling somewhat proud of myself I watched his smile go down a notch with surprise. "And why aren't you in class harassing some poor kid about his vocabulary use in his essay?"

Feigning hurt from my insult his reply was a little bit less Mr. Sunshine. "I do not go harassing people. In fact I help the little fuckers every chance I get because I'm actually a good person." That received a very unladylike snort. "Unlike you I have heart. But that sucks for you that your boyfriend doesn't feel as if you've been good enough in the bed department." Easily evening the score once again, why do I even try?


Our original plan was to have Terry stay the night so we could enjoy each others company and work on a Horticulture assignment together. So while my roommate, Sam and I were making supper and cleaning up things he decided to call and tell us that all plans were canceled. That made Sam pissed because he was supposed to bring his buddy Tyler of whom she's been infatuated with since I became her roomy. So in other words, no Terry, then no Tyler, way to rain on our parade boys!

"So what's wrong love?" Terry swooped down from behind me to put in a quick kiss.

"Nothing. I'm glad you're here, missed you last night. Did you finish your project?"

"Oh yes, I missed you too Carli, tonight we can makeup from what I missed, yes? The project was absolutely horrible! At least we got it done, that's the important thing."

How could I say no to such a sweet idea like that? Nodding my consent, I wasn't sure how my voice would sound as he wrapped his muscular arms around me. My body was not exactly reacting to his touch subtly, so staying silent was probably better than trying to say something that would just embarrass me. Gently like a caress to a kitten, he held my face before enveloping me with affectionate kisses mingled with his sweet cologne.

Terry Williams moved from Edinburgh, Great Britain two years ago with his mother and brother. Six months later his mother died from lung cancer. The least I could do as a friend was to be there for him. It may sound weird, but we connected really well as a stranger to another stranger can connect over a tragedy like that. It's easy to say that I know more about the pale faced 5'8" skinny, 17 year old boy than anyone else. There was just something about the foreign speaking guy with bleached blond hair that attracted a female audience. Not to mention that he was one of the best looking guys that our little town has ever seen. I found myself quickly noticing little things about the hot stranger, such as the way he would run his fingers through his hair when he was deep in thought. And here I was as plain as a gumdrop still trying to figure out why he picked me over so many other women. Trust me, there were plenty other women he could have too. Almost the whole entire teenage population was trying to get his attention. It was a very good thing that I have never been a jealous type, but it was nice still when he purposely ignored the constant attention for my sake. Or maybe it was because he was tired of it, either way it made me feel a little bit better.

"All right we all know you guys are in love and blah blah blah, but will you please try to keep things G-rated for us little ones? We have yet to encounter the intimate stages of relationships" Smiling, Sam plopped down next to me and immediately took up a conversation with Tyler.

I couldn't exactly say I was embarrassed by being caught in the act of making out with my boyfriend, but at least I was decent enough to end it. As the others came to sit around our usual table, conversations split and I was able to lose myself in thought. For the next ten minutes I spent my time cuddling quietly with Terry while watching the others animated faces. I smiled at Sam who was trying desperately to get Tyler's attention. Glaring at Terry she gave me a pointed look that meant she would dish out Terry about yesterday the first chance she got. As usual, Kaitlin and Sam went back to competing for the attention of Tyler and Hayden. While the boys, totally oblivious to everything, were talking about the new hybrid motorcycle. In other words, a normal day, yet, something seemed off. The whole time we sat and talked I could actually feel the environment changing. Something was definitely wrong.

There was a sudden bang and a blinding flash. Screams began to ring across the campus which made it harder to concentrate on what had just happened. Getting up, I saw others trying to right themselves, but found that they were extremely disorientated. Tables and lights were broken and strewed across the stones leading all the way to the grassy landing fields. The ringing in my head was not helping things. It was just so hard to keep others out of my mind though, so using every bit of energy I could muster, I looked around to see if my friends were okay. Sam and Kaitlin were crying but were okay, although I wish I could say that for the rest of the boys. Hayden had a gash to the forehead from a flying piece of glass, and Tyler seemed unconscious. Terry was fine; he was just really scared and clutching to me as if I was a life savior. Over head we all looked up as about five helicopters came flying over and land on the grassy field about ten yards away. Men in blue paramedic suits and came rushing over to help the wounded. Officials in black suits were flocked by Enforcers who were rounding up the stray people and trying to get the general public calmer. It wasn't working.

Guessing that the Officials just got tired of the mass of people constantly demanding an explanation to what had just happened that they put an end to it. Nobody like the Officials, but what they did was just absolutely appalling. From what we heard, after putting off gas bombs we all fell into a coma like state of sleep for the next 24 hours. It was easier for them to get us into our apartments and take care of the wounded without worrying about dangerous confrontation. Thank God that there were only a quarter of the public that were hurt and nobody died. Unfortunately, we weren't the only area that something similar had happened. To wrap things up, the City of St. Gerald was in a total hectic shock. That's about the time when things began getting weird.