Pirate Safari

I gazed out onto the wide blue desert before me. In my hands was my Garand, with a new scope mounted and safety off. The yacht had slowed to a crawling pace, and we waited. I looked to the side to see some of the others. Our Russian captain had a Dragunov SVD, and sat perched on his ledge like a vulture circling a meal. Some of the crew held Kalashnikovs and manned the fired hoses. I could see some of the other guests with their own weapons of choice. That Brit from earlier trained his expensive, ornate Holland and Holland rifle out over the sea. Two Chinese tourists held ancient Mosin-Nagant bolt action rifles, dredged up from the cargo hold of the ship. All of us had paid good money to come out here, but not all of us had guns.

Suddenly, the captain's accented voice filled the air. "We've got some! Port side!"

I shifted my position to the other side of the boat, and looked for them. I could hear the roar of the engine, and see the wake kicked up behind the sleek white craft. I focused my scope on the boat, and I could see them circling. They fired their rifles into the air, and came in close to us along the side. I was about to get my money's worth, and the sharks were about to be well fed. At once, I picked a Somali pirate and opened fire. My rifle sounded like a cannon up close. I saw the smoke rising from the muzzle like a tobacco pipe. I saw one of the pirates had fallen down, his brain matter displaced by my shot. I heard the cracks of the other guests' rifles, and more pirates fall down dead. I readjusted my sight, hoping to at least pick off one more before they were all gone. I found a stray one, standing shocked at the sudden turn of events. I pulled the trigger with a well honed instinct, and our would-be kidnapper was vanquished.

"I call two!" I shouted.

Our boat pulled alongside the pirate vessel, and we surveyed the carnage. The crew members began scavenging the corpses for guns, ammo, machetes, and other useful items. After stripping them naked, I saw the crew begin tossing the bodies overboard. Hopefully, the sharks would be well fed. I had to say, my first pirate safari encounter was exciting. After sending our first victims to the bottom, we continued our patrol down the Somali coast. I have to say, this felt good. We were helping the ecosystem by feeding the sharks, and giving some karma in the form of hot lead to those in need. Whoever had this idea is a genius.