Copyright : (because I forgot before) everything that happens in this story, as well as all the characters, belongs to me – if you want to borrow any of them, ask!

A/N – the last chapter guys! Oh my God I actually feel like crying – Luke and River are my babies, but I think it's time to let them go... Please review and tell me what you thought; about this chapter or the whole story, I don't mind, but please do!

Also, in light of this being the last chapter ever, I wrote it from both of their points of view, and it alternates between them. It's also one of the longest ever – and probably one of the most drama filled (some good, some not so... sorry, I know I promised you a fluffy chapter, but... it's at the end?) hopefully that means you like it?!

Okay... on with the show for the last time *sobs*


39. This River is Mine


School, when I finally got out of the hospital, was ... different. Not different bad, but different... different. I don't know what happened, but suddenly everyone was being really nice to me. Admittedly, I hadn't really before now been paying a lot of attention to the other people at school, but now that I was, it seemed like people were going out of their way to be nice to me. I wondered what the deal was.

By the time the sixth person in a row had walked past me smiling, I had snapped. 'What the fuck is wrong with everyone, man? It's like I'm made of glass and everyone wants to make friends with me or else I'll break!'

River turned to look at me in surprise. 'What are you talking about?' he asked, probably wondering if I was about to start with the crazy mood swings again.

'People keep fucking staring at me!' I growled, glaring at everyone else as they passed us in the busy corridor. We were standing by my locker, putting off going home because there were a couple of things I wanted to say to someone. Things that would be hard enough to say at all, let alone with everyone fucking staring at me so much.

River rolled his eyes. 'No they're not,' was all he said. He ignored me when I turned my glare on him, deciding instead to call out, 'Cammy! Chase!'

Our best friends were walking towards us slowly; on hearing their names, they sped up. 'Hey guys!' Cammy said, running up and hugging me tightly. 'I'm so glad you're okay! I was so worried about you, what with everyone saying –'

Cammy elbowed him in the ribs. 'Shut up,' he hissed in Cammy's ear, quietly so I wouldn't hear. Unfortunately, I did.

Frowning, I asked 'what are you talking about?' There was a short silence, like when someone gets caught out for doing something wrong. When Cammy didn't answer, I rounded on the others too. 'Guys? What are you keeping from me?'

River tried to deny it. 'Nothing Luke I swear!' His tone was defensive. I didn't believe it.

'Tell me,' I demanded with a sense of dread. They all looked at each other but seemed to reach the unspoken decision that River would be the one to tell me, because he was the one who spoke.

'Well, it's just that some people have heard about... what happened to you.'

I felt my heart freeze in my chest. That the was the worst news I could have heard – I hadn't wanted people to know about anything to do with me, not the eating disorder, the mental illness let alone me fucking covering myself in glass. 'How much of it?' I whispered.

River looked uncomfortable. 'Well... um... I'm not sure really.' His refusal to answer it told me all I needed to know.

'Who told them?' I question them, more demanding then actually asking.

Cammy answered when River didn't. 'We don't know, but we think it was Dean.'

My mouth fell open. 'What? He would do that?'

River looked uncomfortable; he knew how I felt about Dean. 'We don't actually know – '

'But you think it was him.' No one tried to deny it, and I just gave up. If that dickhead told everyone, then really there wasn't anything I could do about it, was there? And besides, being pissed off wasn't going to get me anywhere was it? I just sighed. 'Whatever. It doesn't even matter anyway.'

They all made noises of agreement, and that was when I looked up, seeing something I never would have expected.


Okay, what the fuck are Ty and Dean doing talking to each other?

That was the first thought that flowed through my head, when I saw them both standing by Ty's locker. My next thought was:

Why the fuck do I care? It's not like I like either of them.

'Do you see that?' Luke asked, voicing the question I was asking myself in my head.

I nodded, watching them closely. They had started walking in our direction. 'Yeah.'

'What do you think they're talking about?' Cammy asked, for once not sounding hyper and mad.

I shrugged, listening closely as came within earshot.

Ty was talking. 'What do you mean?'

Dean was glaring at him. 'You know what I fucking mean! Don't think that just because River's back with Luke it means that we can go out – it doesn't work like that!'

Ty was smirking. 'So does this mean that you wouldn't object to it – you just think it's too soon?'

Dean looked appalled. 'Hell no, you son of a bitch. I would never date you – I don't even like you!'

By now we were all trying not to laugh; Ty however was pouting. 'Why not?' his face took on a mischievous grin, and he slinked his arm around Dean's. 'How about I make you like me?'

Dean looked thunderstruck. 'No! Get off me! I don't even know you!' It was fucking hilarious to see such a cocky guy squirming to get a twink like Ty off of him; I was struggling hard to withhold the laughter that was welling up in me – they were right next to us now.

Ty licked Dean's ear; I could remember that was how it all started between me and him ... hmm, must be one of his signature moves. I found that funny, too. 'Oh, we'll have plenty of time to get to know each other... in bed.' He slapped Dean on the ass, and that was it, we couldn't hold it in anymore.

'Oh my god!' Luke roared with laughter, and then we all were, trying hard not to fall to the ground from laughing so hard. But fuck, man... this was exactly what they deserved. The two of them could have a happy life together... or not.

'Oh... oh... Oh... I should have seen that one c-coming,' Chase said as he hiccoughed his way into stopping laughing.

I grinned beatifically. 'I was going to suggest something we could do to Dean to get him back for telling everyone about Luke, but something tells me I won't have too.'

Luke was grinning too. 'Yep, having Ty on his case must be punishment enough, huh?' He said, and then took my hand. 'Come on, guys. We should go.' The others nodded in agreement.

'Yeah, school finished ages ago, man.' It was hard to believe, but we'd just been standing in the school corridor for about twenty minutes, and now the school was almost completely empty, save for the geeks coming out of maths club or chess club, whatever. We all walked out of the school together, heading in the direction of the parking lot. 'So what do you wanna do now?' I asked once we were all gathered around my car.

Cammy immediately looked anywhere but at me, and Chase blushed. Actually blushed. What the hell? I didn't think I'd ever seen him blush before. 'Uh... guys?'

'A-actually, uh,' Chase stuttered. 'Um... we were k-kinda planning on goin' on a d-date.'

'A date?' Me and Luke both said at the same time, completely shocked. 'I mean, that sounds nice,' I said hastily to cover up how disbelieving we had sounded.

'Yeah,' Cammy said kind of defensively. 'We've been thinking about it for a while, and we decided that really, what did we have to lose?'

I was still surprised, but I smiled at them warmly anyway. 'Well, I guess me and Luke will just do something by ourselves - 'not that we would have any trouble thinking of stuff to do *dirty thought* *not in front of them, jeez* - 'you guys have fun.' I winked at them.

'Thanks –'

'- we will,' Chase said, lewdly winking at Cammy. 'You, too,' he said, before pulling on Cam's hand and the two of them walked off.


I watched them go with a little smile on my face, pleased with how they turned out. The two of them suited each other well, Chase being slightly taller than Cammy and so able to wrap his arm around his waist as they walked. I couldn't help but feel slightly jealous at how easy they had it; it didn't last long though, because really I had no reason to be jealous. I had River, he was enough for me.

Thinking about River reminded me of what I had to do, what I needed River to help me with.

'So what do you want to do?' River asked as we got into the car.

I decided now was the time to tell him what I was about to do; I just hoped he would help me with it. 'River... there's something I need to do.'

He sounded nervous when he asked, 'what is it?'

I could tell he thought I meant break up with him or something like that, that was why I didn't hesitate in telling him. 'Iwanttotellmydad.' I said it so fast it was almost a blur, and then closed my eyes, waiting for his reaction.

'What?' River's voice sounded completely lost.

I sighed, opening my eyes. 'I want to tell my dad.' I said it slowly, not looking at him. For some reason, I was embarrassed about all this.

'Tell your dad what?' River asked, still not getting it.

I guessed I had to spell it out to him. 'I want to come out to my dad. As in, tell him I'm gay.'

River looked completely taken by surprise, but not necessarily angry. I took that as a good sign. 'Really? Are you sure?' he asked in a tone that really said "why the hell would you want to do that?"

'Yeah,' I said firmly. 'I think it's time for him to know – especially now we're back together.' I looked down at the floor of the car for a moment, whilst I said, 'you mean a lot to me River. I don't wanna have to keep you a secret, even with my family.'

'Okay,' River said, taking me by surprise because I really expected him to argue more or put up a fight. Maybe I even wanted him too, wanted him to tell me that this was a stupid idea. Because suddenly, I had a really bad feeling about this. But what I said to him was true – this was important. It was time he knew; if he was serious about wanting to be a good dad to me then he had to know this.

The car ride there was silent, almost awkward. We were both deep in thought about what his reaction would be; I was scared, what if he didn't accept me, once he found out? What if he got pissed? What if... the endless questions played on and on in my head slowly driving me crazy.

River was the first to break the silence. 'Did you take your medication last night?' he asked, sounding as though he'd just remembered about it.

'Er...' I had to think about it. 'Yeah, I did.' I had to have, because the voice wasn't talking to me. Honestly, the new pills the doctor had given me worked like a dream. I didn't even go off into weird dazes anymore. And so far today the voice hadn't spoken – maybe it was gone forever, as long as I took the pills? I sure hope so.

Hey, I'm not gone! And you did take your medication, you forgetful prick. I just wasn't speaking because I thought you might want a moment to yourself now that you and lover boy are back together.

Wow. The day the voice in your head decides starts being thoughtful is the day you are officially crazy. At least it wasn't making me do any crazy shit anymore. And apart from that random outburst, it hadn't said a word before that... hmm. Maybe the medication really was working... shit, I hoped so.

'Luke? We're here.'

Shit. I didn't want to do this. I didn't want to do this. I didn't want to –'Shall we do this?' My voice sounded desperate. This was his last chance to back out. Fuck, I wanted him to back out, almost as much as I didn't.

'Yeah, come on.' He opened the door for himself, then walked around and opened mine. Despite my state of mind, I couldn't help smiling when he did that. Honestly, it really was the little things...

I opened the door with my key, crossing my fingers in my pocket where River couldn't see them. Please, let no one be home. Let no one be home. 'Hello?' I called into the house. 'Dad? Are you home?' Please let no one be home. Please let n-

'Luke? I'm in the kitchen,' my dad called.

I realised when he spoke that I really would have to do this, that there was no backing out now. River seemed to see how frozen I was, because he nudged me gently, snapping me out of my panic. 'Okay dad,' I called back then grabbed River's hand. If I was going to do this then fuck if he wasn't coming with me.

Dad looked up when I walked into the kitchen from reading the paper. As usual he had a cup of coffee in his hand. 'Hi, Luke and... What's your name again, son?'

I took a deep breath. 'Dad, this is River. You guys met at the hospital, I think?' Dad nodded and they shook hands. I knew this was my chance to say something. 'Um... dad, there's something I, well, we need to tell you.'

Dad immediately looked concerned. 'Is it about your medication? Are you okay? Do you need to go to the hospital again?'

I took another deep breath, and then shook my head. 'No dad – none of those things. It's not even that much of a big deal, really. People just seem to think it is, but me and River think it's completely normal. I bet you will too, when you find out, I mean why wouldn't you? Loads of people are these days anyway, so it's not even anything special. Honestly. Well, it's special to us, but seeing as you aren't us – it's a good thing you aren't us – you won't know that, and ...'

Stop babbling, kid.

'Luke what are you talking about?' Dad asked, obviously having no idea.

Fucking hell, the movies never made coming out look this hard. School never made coming out this hard. I took one last deep breath (third time lucky?) and said, 'I'mgay,' really quickly, practically spitting the words in my haste to get them out.


Shit. He didn't hear. Okay. Okay. Breathe. Hey, why wasn't River saying anything in this? I looked over at him and saw that his eyes were glazed over, looking down at the floor. He was obviously a million miles away. Well, thanks for the support, asshole, I thought with pretty much no venom. Really, I would give anything to do what he was doing right now. But I'd already started... 'Dad, I'm gay. River's my boyfriend.'

Dad's face was frozen. Shit, he was kind of scaring me right now; his face was completely emotionless. What was he thinking? 'Dad?' I asked, softly, hesitantly.

I should have left whilst he was still frozen.

When he spoke, his voice was like ice. It froze me, brought me back to my life before. 'Don't lie to me. It's not funny.'

I swallowed loudly. 'Dad – dad, I'm not lying.'

His face was still emotionless, and it scared me more than his anger would have, especially when he said, 'no son of mine is a fag.'

That word again. 'I'm... I'm not a fag, dad. That's not a n-nice word to call it. I – I don't like it when people call me that.'

His eyebrow rose ever so slightly and he walked closer to me. 'Do you really think I give a shit?'

I backed up slightly, right into River. River didn't react, he was still miles away. Fuck – right when I needed him, that's when he decides to zone out? 'N-no, I don't. I-I'm sorry, I ...' I should have seen this coming. I knew he was on the tenterhooks of turning back to the way he was, but I'd forgotten amongst all the other shit that was going on in my life. Guess I was about to pay for that mistake.

'You what?' he sneered, coming right into my face. 'You thought you'd come here and tell me all about your gay ass life? And I'd be okay with it? Fuck, were you wrong boy,' he said, then slapped me round the face hard enough to make me stumble.

After that, several things happened simultaneously. I fell over, on top of River who snapped out of his daze. And my dad went mad. He started punching anything in reach, not caring whether it was me or River or the furniture that he hit, all the while screaming, 'get the fuck out of my house! You aren't my son anymore, get out!'

Jesus, my head hurt – he kicked me right in the temple. For a moment the pain was so that I didn't want to get up – what was the worst that would happen, if I just lay there and took it? I'd had my fair share of drama in my life, sure – but I'd done some things worth mentioning, and I'd loved enough people to leave a mark. Would it really be that bad if I just lay here and didn't get up? Maybe my dad wouldn't stop. Maybe...

Maybe River grabbed my hand, shoving me behind him and punched my dad right in the face. 'You fucking asshole! Don't you dare come back and start that shit up again! I won't let you!'

My dad looked shocked, dazed. Asshole deserved it. He didn't seem to know what to say, either. He just stood there, holding his hand to his face. For a moment I just stood behind River, staring at my dad. He really was the asshole I'd thought he was – I'd just been taken in by his act, just like my mum was so long ago. Even though I should have expected it, I couldn't help feeling upset.

River grabbed my arm, pulling me upstairs and into my room. I suddenly realised how long it had been since the last time he'd been in here... guess that didn't really matter now, since – 'grab your stuff. We're out of here.'

I didn't move. 'What do you mean?' I asked, blinking stupidly.

River was busy shoving things into a suitcase he must have found under my bed; he didn't look up as he said, 'you're moving in with me. Now get your stuff.'



'River, are you sure about this?' Luke asked, chewing his lip. We were standing outside my house, both of us laden with bags of his stuff. He looked guilty and slightly dazed, and it just made me want to grab him and kiss him until he forgot all the bad thoughts he had to be thinking right now. I knew I was thinking them...

'Of course I am. I wanted you to move in anyway – this just gives me a reason to ask you sooner, and it means you can't say no.' I said it to try and make the mood lighter, even though the words I spoke were actually the truth.

Luke seemed to be able to tell that I wasn't completely joking, because he blushed slightly and laughed. 'Thanks, I guess.' He looked down at the bags in his hands, the blush still there on his cheeks – it was adorable; I'm not the type of guy to say words like that unless I mean them, so I'm sure you can imagine.

I opened the door, and then motioned for Luke to follow me. 'Come on, you can stay in my room.' I said over my shoulder as I half carried, half dragged his stuff along with me up to my bedroom.

'Cool,' Luke said, following me as I led the way.

We both dumped his stuff on the floor, and then collapsed onto my bed, both out of breath. Fuck, today really hadn't gone the way I wanted it too. At least, not until right now; I'd been thinking that we might end up in this position. Both of us, on my bed... No. I couldn't think things like that, not after what had just happened. But I was so fricking happy – Luke was going to be staying with me, in my room... I couldn't imagine anything better.

'Won't your parents mind, me staying here?' Luke asked in a subdued voice. I shook my head.

'No, they're never here, and even when they are, they don't really give a shit who I'm with or what I'm doing so you don't have to worry.' About the "what I'm doing" bit... should I tell him what I wanted to be "doing", or would that be insensitive. Ugh, fuck me and my horny mind.

'Oh. Cool.' He was quiet for a minute. 'You know, you didn't have to stand up for me back there.' He sounded grateful.

'Don't worry about it,' I said offhandedly. 'Honestly, I wanted too.'

Luke smiled, 'did you see his face when you punched him?' He asked, laughing.

I couldn't help it; I laughed too. 'Yeah, it was the funniest t thing I've ever seen!' Even funnier was knowing that for all his fighting, all he'd done was made it easier for Luke to be gay, with me. Ironic, much?

With all that in mind, I'd completely forgotten what I was thinking about before. But when Luke moved so that he straddling me all of a sudden, all of those thoughts came back with a force, and they all flowed south.


'Should we celebrate me moving in?' Luke asked with a cheeky little smile.

I smirked back at him. 'Hm... Maybe I'll have to think about that.' I paused for a minute, pretending to be deep in thought when really all I wanted to do was grab him and take him right then, but really... teasing was more fun in the end. Made it last longer.

Luke pouted. 'But we still haven't had make-up sex ye- oomph.' He looked up at me from his new position of being stuck under me, my body pressed against his and his arms over his head.

'Well, that changes things, doesn't it?' I said mockingly, beginning to grind against him. Luke groaned slightly.

'River... come on, stop teasing and do something, please,' shit. He shouldn't be allowed to beg, man, it wasn't fair. With his hands above his head and looking all vulnerable like that... I couldn't help myself. I pressed my lips against his, hard, shoving my tongue against his bottom lip until he opened his mouth and me stroke his tongue with mine, all the while undoing the buttons on first his shirt then mine. I had to let go of his hands for a minute to do that, and in the moment I did, his hands were all over me, too. It was like we were surgically attached to each other, we just couldn't stop touching. Everywhere. Kissing everywhere. Licking, sucking, biting everywhere. And it all felt so good that we never wanted to stop. We would never have to stop...

'River... River, please don't stop.'


'Uh... River, River... please... fuck me...'

'Oh my god, you're still so tight...'

'Ha-hard- harder, River, please!'



* * * * * *

We woke up to my alarm clock. Fuck knows why I set it; today was a Saturday, so it wasn't like I had to wake up or anything. And for some reason, it went off playing the radio instead of the usual buzzing it made.

It was playing a song I knew all the words too, and I knew Luke did too.

"...I never did get along with everybody else
I've been trying hard to do what's right..."

I jumped up out of bed, waking Luke up as I did so. He heard the song on, and started singing it too. We honestly sounded like shit, but we didn't care. This was my song; our song.

"But you know I could stay here all night,

And watch the clouds fall from the sky

this river is wild
this river is wild

Sometimes I'm nervous when I talk
I shake a little
Sometimes i hate the line I walk
I just want to show you what I know
And catch you when the current lets you go

Or should I just get along with myself
I never did get along with everybody else
I've been trying hard to do what's right
But you know I could stay here all night
And watch the clouds fall from the sky"

Luke belted out the last line. "Because this River is MINE!"

I just smiled.

A/N – okay, so that might just have been the cheesiest ending I've ever written, but... I REALLY HOPE YOU LIKE IT!

Please review and tell me what you thought!

By the way, this is not the end (of me lols)... I've got a new story called SINCERELY ELI... check it out :)


Does anyone think I should write a sequel? Maybe about Dean&Ty or Chase&Cammy? Maybe I could even write a couple of one shots... tell me what you think?

Thanks to everyone who's ever read, alerted, favourited or reviewed this story... I love you all. :)

Also (this is completely random) but Dean said "you son of a bitch"! LOL!


Poptart Guava Kid: Okay, firstly thank you so much for reviewing pretty much every single chapter! I love how your reviews always make me laugh... now. Does the fact that you wanted Dean mean you want him to have his own story? And lastly ... about the 39/40 chapters thing. I actually wrote 40, but I posted the wrong one ages ago, and now I only have 39! How weird is that? Lols. I really hope you liked this! (Also, sorry about the lack of sexy time thingy... I think if I wrote all of it in detail this chapter would end up being about 10,000 words long, and my fingers already hurt way too much for that... I promise they had a lot of sexytime anyway. :P

Crazy Stalker Chick: Thank you so much for all of your reviews! – is the first thing I'm going to say. Next is, sorry that this chapter isn't a lot of fluff or sexy time, but I HOPE YOU LIKED IT ANYWAY!!!

Isabella Storms: Thank you so much for your reviews!!! And, I'm so glad you liked River&Luke, even though Riveybaby was a bit of a doucheywouchey LOLS. Did this chapter answer your questions about Ty? I hope it did, and that you liked this!