Asshole

How many times can you whisper the same lies,

Mumble the same bullshit,

Plead the same stories

Before I finally wake up?

If I tell myself I hate you,

Does it really mean anything?

Accomplish anything?

Make me anything?

If I run until I spit blood,

Scream until I'm deaf,

Hide away in the deepest corners until I'm blind,

Would you leave me the hell alone?

I've got to hand it to you, darling.

You're a curse beyond words.

A fucking veneral disease wrapped in ribbons.

Suicide with a nice pretty bow on top,

Whispered perforations sighing "Cut Me" here and there,

Singing little sweet miseries in my ears.

Go fuck yourself,

It's not like you'd fuck me.

Go kill yourself,

You already tried to kill me.

Only now do I realize,

That you're still getting your way.

Still ruling my thoughts,

Still poisoning my life,

Making me sick every fucking day.

What you've given me

Is a reason

To keep hating.

What you've given me

Is a fucking problem

That I can't even put into words.

An equation with no solution,

A riddle,

An empty gun.

I fucking hate you.

I hate that I loved you.

And more than anything,

I hate that I probably still do.

My loss of words,

Lack of conciousness,

Inability to cope

Just fed you more and more.

Desperation,

Like an old friend,

Slicing through my veins until it finds you.