Mind racing,

Chest pounding,

Hands shaking,

I'm a fucking addict.

My fingers around your throat,

Eyes wide in everything I always loved about you,

All the things I never owned in you,

God, how I fucking hate you.

Your perceptions of me,

The victim you dreamed of me,

The monster you wished of me

Doesn't belong to you anymore.

Eyes watering,

Throat closing,

Legs twitching,

I'm losing my fucking mind.

If the knife was in my hands this time,

If your skin was crying for me instead,

Would things have ended better?

Would things have ended at all?

Your assumptions of me,

The memories you fabricated,

And the ones that you forgot

Were yesterday's trash.

Thoughts failing,

Relationships failing,

Fuck, I'm losing.

Does that mean you're winning?

Oh, what I wish of you, darling.

The horrors I dream for you,

The nightmares I keep just for you...

Only you.