"You know… the incident in primary school…" The first words after a week of break from school rang upon my meeting with Nissy.
She rattled off endlessly, sending me into a state of confusion. I had neither head nor tail of the whole issue she was talking about, but allowed her to continue with her bullet speech. As I listened, I picked up words that she punctuated her sentences with, slowly clearing up the haze of the conversation.
"…It was just a misunderstanding…" She finally came to a halt.
"Are you talking about the issue I had with Kara?"
"Oh no… No… I wasn't…" She replied acrimoniously.
"I see…" half-heartedly, I turned away and headed for class.
"So do drop by and tell her that you've forgiven her or something alright?"
I shrugged without bothering much, "Would do help if you could pass the message that I'm over with it."
I disappeared up to class.
Typical lesson drones of one thousand one hundred words sounded, warning us how close it was to Mid-Year Examinations. According to our language teacher, Miss Drama Queen, one thousand one hundred words was the way for lazy students like us who want to spend the least time learning the most words. Unfortunately, I could remember none though I've already done 50pages, which consisted of at least 500 new vocabularies. I still could not see the importance of doing all those, spending ten precious minutes of my life doing that book while we could be off learning how to answer more comprehension questions, learning ways to tackle composition themes.
Emerging from lower secondary, even language became a subject we needed to prepare for. I could still remember the good old days where we would sit chattering on the day of English Examination. Indeed, the past always seems sweeter, and we always have to regret not savoring them.
'Dictionary." My desk mate extended his hand.
I flicked my locker open and threw him the dictionary while returning to my book.
"Don't you ever try to guess?" I watched him searching through the thin pages of the dictionary in disgust.
"Nah, it's smarter than guessing."
Fine… You're back to the caustic remarks huh? I bet you'd die without it. I slam my book shut after finishing the last word. That was such a nice way to start a day. I thought sarcastically.
Ironically, he did help to distract me from the issue until break. I was casted back into the fog I stepped out of for lessons.
Reminded of that issue, I was sure what I said in the morning were just words of courtesy to comfort the messenger who is caught between the two of us. After all, it was not her fault and she was just trying to help, why tear another friendship for this distant acquaintance?
'Acceptance', 'forgiving' and 'forgetting' were terms that belonged a world far away from this that Kara and I shared. 'It was just a misunderstanding...'A timorous voice spoke in my head and faded out.
"Misunderstanding?" I muttered to myself in disbelief. Yeah! So much of a misunderstanding that you don't even dare to tell it into my face? Fury coarse through my veins.
A settled heart deals issues justly, a calm mind thinks through thoroughly. I took a deep breath.
After thinking through, it felt reasonable that she would not have dared to tell me directly, after all it turned from bad to worse over two years. I, too, would not have voiced out if it was me.
'But she pulled her friend away from you when she saw you on the stairs, remember?' That same voice which reminded me it was just a misunderstanding came back a hoarse whisper.
Yeah, she did… So many times before… My conscience added thoughtfully.
A new sense of anger surged through me. How innocent that lie that would sound to everyone! So you think I'm that naïve to fall for such a terrible act? I mused.
I stalked my way up the fleets of stairs. The tiring six fleets of stairs suddenly became a breeze with that issue clogging up my brain's capacity. Maybe this was a good way to train up my stamina. I thought. Perhaps, such was the ultimatum to slimming down, I thought. I felt the corners of my lips turning slightly into a small grin.
Guess being doubtful of every issue does contribute to creating a better built. I hid the smile under my emotionless mask. I was back to being the normal girl who was being ignored.