When I was a kid, I dreamt of being
one of those sexy, dangerous girls who
drink black coffee and write black poetry
and leave their stomachs empty.
I dreamt of being one of those
edgy, growling grrrls
who have scars up and down their arms and
kiss boys and kiss girls and
don't care what they're called for it.
I dreamt of being one of those
fucked up girls who
don't need anybody, anybody to save them
(but someone will come along
who will know that they do).
I dreamt of being one of those
dreamy, artsy girls who
stay up all night writing music
and who take pills so they don't have to fall asleep
and who don't mind chaos
'cause it's calmer than everything they know.
I dreamt of being one of those
hot mess girls who are the kind
you fall in love with at the mental hospital
who repeatedly burn everything they love
to the ground.

.

But now all of my wishes have finally come true.

...I guess I just didn't think them through.