Lady Chatterly's Blunder

Many readers are familiar with the erotic affair between refined Lady Chatterly and the earthy gamekeeper of her husband's estate. Lesser known is her earlier attempt to seduce another servant when her invalid spouse was unable to satisfy her raging libido.

She summoned the obedient hireling to her room and posed alluringly clad only in a sheer negligee. Her eyes devouring the young man's handsome face and strong virile physique, she commanded:

"Come here and kiss my full lips starved for love!"

But the servant stood aloof and murmured:

"Madame, I cannot"

"Then press your sensuous mouth to the throbbing pulse in my lilywhite throat."

"Madame, I cannot."

"Then nuzzle my soft heaving bosom."

"Madame, I cannot."

"Then caress my trembling voluptuous body and shapely thighs with your powerful manly hands," she said with mounting lusty desire.

"Madame, I cannot."

In desperate frustration, she cast off her garment and begged:

"At least kiss my hand. That'll be a start."

"Madame, I cannot."

"But why can't you do as I request?" she cried out in tearful dismay.

"Because, Madame," the youth replied with perfect logic, "I am a footman."