Rant 1: Love Struck


I don't understand something. If you like somebody, I mean, really like them (or it could even just be puppy love—that would make it simpler even), why can't you ask them out? What's holding you back?

I think it's fear holding you back. Fear of rejection, fear of depression, fear of ridicule, fear of feeling awkward, fear of being sad, fear of losing hope, fear of losing a friend, (fear of fear itself, scared, frightened to the very bone, don't let it happen, please, don't let it happen, not to me, not with him, I really do like him, I really do).

But then you have to think of why you might like him or her or whoever it is. There are the physical aspects (his hair is so soft, his teeth so white, his skin so fare), the personality aspects (he's so smart, he's so sweet, he's so funny); then there are the more in-depth aspects. You're lonely, you need someone to talk to, you want attention, you want somebody to hold you, to need you as much as you need them, you're sick of lying up in bed at night, alone, crying, with thoughts circling your head, when there should be someone you could call to end this depression, you want that 'special somebody' (but gimme gimme never, ever gets).

Which fear is worse? Why do we have this fear?

Hah, if only I had that answer. Nobody ever has that answer. Even the happiest man or woman alive couldn't answer you straight; even they have their moments of weakness (but why?).

The reason I bring this to anybody's attention is not about the fear, really. What I'm here to discuss is, very simply (is it ever?), asking out a friend.

As I said earlier, if you like someone, you wish to ask them out. So, say, you do. You ask them out, they say no, you ask why not (is it me, is it you, is there somebody else, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, what did I do, did I do something wrong), they say because they don't want any drama between friends.

The record stops, your face drops. What? That's it? That's…the only reason!? You would think they would know you enough to know that drama is not your thing (or maybe they know you enough to know it is). This reason is implausible. This brings a whole new argument.

If you like somebody and they like you, then go out.

There's no way to make that any possibly simpler (but it's so much more complicated than that). Why does there have to be drama? Who says there will be any drama (I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were psychic and a mind-reader)?

If you stop liking each other, break up, stay friends. Don't make anything awkward, don't make a big fuss out of it, don't kill each other, don't hate each other, (don't do this, don't do that). Sure, there's still the chance of having that lingering feeling of want, of need, but there's a bigger chance that, hey, at least you both got what you wanted for a while. Both your fears were subdued. And, guess what? You were both happy for a little while. And guess what? You're still happy, maybe more so. Know why? Nobody felt awkward, nobody made a fuss, nobody killed the other, nobody hated each other (nobody did this, nobody did that).

Yeah, the loneliness will return eventually, and so will all the other fears. But now maybe everybody could know that they can take a chance. They can be more than friends.

But we all know this will never happen.