Love of Numbers
A/N: A math/physics professor with interest in numerology on the side as a diversion meets a quiet (but blindingly gorgeous) librarian and immediately falls for her. Only trouble the Doctor has is expressing himself through words.
~*~ CAST ~*~
Dr. Andrew "Drew" Jacob MacCullum:
Nathan MacCullum: (Andrew's father)
Cassiopeia "Cassy" Iris Matthias :
Jewel Matthias: (Cassy's mother)
Dante Matthias: (Cassy's father)
Dr. Daniel Blackwood: (Drew's friend)
Christina "Chris" Schmidt: (Cassy's friend)
Emilia Ann MacCullum:
Nancy Marie MacCullum:
Scene 1--1,000,000 to 1
(Opening scene depicts an urban setting, somewhere in the Midwest. There is a math professor returning home from teaching his courses and he stops at the local library to check out a book concerning numerology. He is listening to reggae music in the car. It's the classic peace album, "One Love, One Life" sung by the incomparable Bob Marley.)
Andrew: (singing) Let's get together and feel alright. (pats his dashboard) Oh, Bob. If only life were that simplistic. If only people would listen to your message.
(sigh) I guess not all of us can be like you, Gandhi or His Holiness the Dali Llama.
(trotting up the stairs to the main entrance, walks in and sees Cassiopeia, and we see her nametag clearly designates who she is)
(Love in the Library begins playing)
Andrew: (narrating) From the moment I saw Cassy, I knew that she was the only likely partner for me. But my likelihood of impressing her was 1,000,000 to 1 !
(Andrew begins looking around the library for a book he is interested in, and Cassy walks behind him)
Cassy: Need some help, Professor ?
Andrew: (a bit tongue-tied) H-how did you know I was a professor, Cassy ? (awkward chuckle) That is, if it is permissible for me to address you as such.
Cassy: (lighthearted chuckle) Of course it is….(reads nametag) Dr. MacCullum.
Andrew: You can call me Drew if you like. (still stammering slightly) I was wondering if you had "The Power of Numbers" here.
Cassy: I think we do. I realize it's recently published, but it doesn't take the local library long to acquire recent best sellers.
Andrew: Thanks for being such a great help, Cassy. (narrating) As I watched her, I noticed every curve flowing in symmetry. Each line, each arc, everything about Cassiopeia was geometrically perfect. But the one thing that drew me even more than her dazzling amethyst orbs was her brilliance, wit, turn of phrase and faye laughter.
Cassy: Here, Drew. I found it. Drew ? Earth to drew, come in Drew !
Andrew: (coming back to reality) Oh, of course ! Thank you, Cassy. I think this will be all for today.
Cassy: You sure ?
Andrew: (narrating) I almost had a feeling that she was approaching me to court her, but again, I could not bring myself to ask her out on a date. I felt that my chances of ever winning this fair maiden's heart were growing more and more distant by the nanosecond.
Cassy: Such a shame, really. We have many more books like this one available. You'd be amazed how popular numerology is becoming nowadays.
Something tells me you're a bit of a met physicist.
Andrew: (narrating) And yet, again, she had my number, literally and figuratively. This woman was nothing short of phenomenal. I was sweating, butterflies were flying in circles in my stomach and my cognitive function was nearly gone in her presence. Even my legs were becoming gelatinous.
Cassy: Are you ok, Drew ?
Andrew: (wipes off sweat with the back of his hand) I'm perfectly fine. It's just a bit moist in here…I mean…warm ! (mutters) Crap.
Cassy: It is pretty hot in here. The AC hasn't been working for about a week.
Andrew: (to himself) Saved. Score one extra point for Andrew Milo MaCullum.
Cassy: (Following him to the check out to check out his book) I'll see you around then. Have a terrific weekend.
Andrew: I certainly will. You too, Cassy. (narrating) I felt myself kicking my own posterior upon walking out those doors. If only I could just talk to Cassy and court her. I feared that she probably had some other handsome fellow wooing her, but I wasn't about to give up. Though my odds were slim and probability was conspiring against me, I wanted to express my love for her in the only way I knew how…Through song.
Scene 2--Wooing A Fair Maiden
Andrew: (narrating) Seeing that my schedule didn't quite allow me to impress Cassy in the manner I wished to, I was always able to see her on the weekend.
And on one such weekend, I decided to sing "I Love You Just The Way You Are" to her as she walked into the library.
Cassy: (applauding) Bravo, Drew. Bravo !
Andrew: It was for you, my starry goddess.
Cassy: Goddess ? (laughing) Isn't that going just a bit too far ?
Andrew: Not in my estimate, my dear. You are gorgeous to the nth degree !
Cassy: (blushing) Now you're just flattering me.
Andrew: No. I'm not. I should really let you get to work, but I wanted to see you during the weekend. (cautiously) That is unless you are busy with family and friends.
Cassy: No, not at all. In fact, I will be free this weekend.
Andrew: (to himself) Jackpot ! This is it, Andrew. Your 1 in 1,000,000 chance to either make it or break it with destiny. Destiny can be a cruel bitch at times, but this time, I have decided to join my hand with hers and intend the best outcome.
Cassy: When will you be picking me up, Drew ?
Andrew: Will you be available around 5:00 pm ?
Cassy: Sure ! Where will we be going ?
Andrew: Something casual. Just be yourself, you look stunning in whatever you have on.
Cassy: Thanks. I'll see you then !
(Scene fade to 5:00 pm, "Once Upon A Time" is playing on the radio, and Andrew is singing along)
Cassy: (grinning widely) I never took you for an 'oldie but goodie' type.
Andrew: I can always change the station if you like. (Notices her dress) WOW.
Holy moley !
Cassy: What, is my make-up smeared ?
Andrew: (chuckling) No, no. Not at all. You look fabulous. Why did you get dressed up though ?
Cassy: No particular reason, I simply like looking nice when a handsome man asks me out for dinner. (All For Love plays on the radio) Ooo ! I love this song !
Andrew: (narrating) Seeing her like this was entirely new and refreshing for me.
For once I was seeing Cassy in her natural state, not in her business-like mentality.
I only hoped that I could keep her smiling like I was now because I had felt no greater happiness or love than that.
(At the restaurant, Andrew seats her and they are soon approached by the waiter)
Evan: Hi, welcome to Cheeseburger in Paradise. Have you dined with us before ?
Andrew: I have, but my lovely escort is a newbie.
Evan: Cheeseburger was begun by legendary singer/songwriter Jimmy Buffet. In fact, one of the items here is named in honor of that particular song. Many of the items here have a tropical theme or flavor.
Cassy: What would you recommend, then, Evan ?
Evan: (chuckle) What wouldn't I recommend ? Everything here is excellent !
But the burgers are the best ! Do you like bacon ?
Cassy: (eager) Do I ?!
Evan: I'd go for our signature bacon burger then.
Cassy: Alright…I'm sold. I'll take that and a coke with a side of fries.
Andrew: You know my usual, Evan. I'll be having than.
Evan: Cheeseburger with slaw and a coke, coming right up. I'll be right back with your drinks.
Cassy: This is terrific ! I even like the atmosphere.
Andrew: Thought you'd enjoy it. It's kind of a 'vacation' from the everyday. Sort of like going to Hawaii without ever leaving home.
Andrew: (narrating) The more I was around Cassy, the more I knew I wanted to know her and bask in the warmth of her smile. Unfortunately, the very next day, I had to go out with my best friend and colleague Dr. Daniel Blackwood to attend a symposium on the impact of the mind and power of suggestion.
Cassy: I'm having a great time, Drew ! (pats his hands and strokes them gently) But you seem to be a little down. What's wrong ?
Andrew: I have a symposium to attend tomorrow. I wish I could have another night to enjoy your company. Not that I don't enjoy being around my colleagues but…
Cassy: It's fine ! (smiles) I too, have meetings I don't necessarily want to go to all because we librarians are trying to figure out innovative ways of getting the younger generation interested in books again, and in this day and age of PDAs, Facebook, My Space and Twitter, it's hard.
Andrew: (patting her hands in return) I understand, but don't give up the fight.
Cassy: I'd love to go to one of those symposiums. I remember you telling me about one long ago and it sounded fascinating. I have always been interested in metaphysics myself.
Andrew: Never took you for a 'New Ager'.
Cassy: (winking) I'm full of surprises, Drew.
Andrew: (narrating) Again, I felt my heart soar. The more I knew the more I longed to figure out. Her entire essence was so alluring, I couldn't pull away.
But before I knew it I was taking her home…
(At Cassy's home)
Cassy: Thanks. I really appreciate our time together. I am looking forward to spending more time with you in the future. (kisses his cheek gently)
Andrew: As do I, my Golden Ratio. As do I. (narrating) It would be months before I ever saw her again.
Scene 3--Lonely Symposium
(As the speaker presents his Power Point Presentation, Dan seems genuinely happy and eager, practically giddy, in fact. Drew, on the other hand, is looking utterly dejected. "One is the Loneliest Number" plays in the background, and Dan looks concerned for his friend's well-being, even taking him out to dinner to get his mind off things.)
Dan: Dude, what's your deal ? I thought you would've been in ecstasy at the symposium. The topic was fascinating. I even wrote notes !
Drew: I know, Dan. I should've been in utter bliss listening to Dr. Kissinger speak but all I could think about was Cassy.
Dan: You've got issues. We're supposed to be learning, Drew.
Drew: (sighs, lowers head)
Dan: Hey, I know what will cheer you up. This will get your mind back on track. (calls the MC over and he nods, requesting "Calculus")
Drew: What are you doing ?
Dan: Making a fool out of myself, and you're helping.
Drew: No ! Nooooo ! (pulled on stage and is coaxed to sing with him) (While there are stops in the music, he mouths 'I'll kill you', even though he is joking about doing him any harm. As soon as the song ends, he feels better.)
Dan: What did I tell you ? I'm the doctor and I had the cure to your blues.
Andrew: Even if the song was ridiculously corny. (chuckles) You're absolutely right. I can't just sit about moping. We have work to accomplish. (narrating) But, Cassy was still in my mind. Yet, she gave me the strength to finish all my work and give every project I did my all. ("Falling Slowly" plays as a montage of the two of them doing their work in their own spheres, both looking at the stars and thinking of one another.)
(Back at Cassy's place, watching "Mama Mia")
Chris: (picking up on Cassy's depression) Cass, what's up ? Usually you're not this quiet. Is it about Drew ? (laces arm around her, lovingly)
Cassy: Yes. Usually he answers his emails from me, but I haven't heard anything from him since he attended that symposium considering the controversial topic of 'torsion field physics'.
Chris: Sounds interesting. Whatever 'torsion field physics' is.
Cassy: I know I shouldn't worry myself, but (starts becoming weepy) I miss him so much. He's absolutely incredible. I feel like I am walking on air when I am with him, and I never want to come back down.
Chris: Oh, girl. You're really in love. Bad.
Cassy: (sniffles, chuckling) I know. Pathetic, isn't it ? I realize I should be happy with you sitting by my side, but I'm lovesick. It's a combination of misery, agony, joviality, pleasure, anger and insanity. (Chris gives her a Kleenex)
Chris: It's going to be alright. Try giving him a call and see if he left his phone on.
Cassy: It's a long-shot in the dark, dear. He leaves his cell on, but he hardly ever picks it up. Researchers are so focused on their jobs that they don't have time for social lives. You know that well enough from seeing my lack of socializing. (redisent chuckle)
Chris: (handing Cassy her cell phone) Do it. Take a chance. You had a leap of faith once with Drew and chemistry was ignited. You need to keep those flames stoked, or else the embers may extinguish.
Cassy: (determined) You're right. (dials) (becomes excited once she hears it ringing) It's ringing !
Chris: (nearly squeals)
Cassy: (hopefully, with her right fingers crossed) Pick up, Drew.
Drew: (yawning) Dr. Andrew MacCullum speaking. Who may I ask is calling ?
Cassy: Drew ! Thank GOD. I have been wanting to get a chance to talk to you. I miss you immensely.
Drew: I miss you infinitely more. If I could use a number, it would be imaginary, unable to be expressed in typical notation.
Chris: (holds hands to heart) That's so romantic.
Cassy: Quiet, Chris !
Chris: (sticks tongue out at her)
Drew: Is that your friend, Christina ?
Cassy: (somewhat subdued) Yes. She came over to watch Mama Mia with me. We were having a phenomenal time until I started pining for you.
Drew: I hope I didn't ruin the evening. (Laughs lightly)
Cassy: You didn't dear. You never do. I just wish you were here. Did you learn anything from your symposium ?
Drew: Oh, oodles. I'll share with you later, if you want.
Cassy: I won't understand all of it like you do, my little Fountain of Knowledge.
Drew: (chuckles) I wish I could stay, but I have to finish this paper. I am going to meet with Dr. Kissinger tomorrow night at the next topic of his studies.
Cassy: Lucky you. You will be coming home soon, won't you ?
Drew: Yes, in a few more weeks.
Cassy: I'll wait for you. I…love you.
Drew: As do I. More each day. Because…(sings She's a Bad Mama Jamma)
Cassy: (trying hard not to burst out into paroxysms of laughter)
Drew: What ?! Is my singing really that horrible ?
Cassy: No, I just never thought of that song as romantic until now. You're really something.
Drew: And you, are my elixir that empowers me and gives me unlimited HP/MP and status…Enough to best the foulest demon and make the world aright again.
Cassy: What a lovely sentiment. Until we meet again.
Drew: Parting is such sweet sorrow, Juliet. (imitates a kiss on the phone)
Cassy: T'were ever thus. (kisses back, and hangs up) (dreamy sigh)
Chris: (hugging her) I couldn't be more glad for you, and if I don't know better…I think I can predict a wedding for you two in the very near future. (wriggles eyebrows)
I must be your main bridesmaid !
Cassy: Calm yourself, Chris. Eventually, something like that will happen, but probably in a few more years.
Chris: I know. I was just rattling your cage. You know me ! Now, let's get back to watching the movie…I have an urge to sing along.
Cassy: You're on ! Let's sing our hearts out in celebration ! (they continue watching and enjoying the film, dancing side by side, bumping rumps and having a blast)
Scene 4--Dinner With 'The Folks'
Drew: (narrating) Though work kept me thoroughly busy, I always found my heart drifting to thoughts of my glittering galaxy. I could allow my heart to drift there in reverie for hours on end. But my Lethe-like state was broken when I heard that my parents and Cassy's both wanted to convene at dinner as a sort of litmus test. I knew that I had come this far and I had been dating Cassy for over a year now. I suppose now was the true challenge for us. The ever dreaded dinner with the folks.
(Scene shift to a restaurant, classical music playing in the background. An instrumental version of Inchworm is playing on the radio.)
Nathan: Andrew, don't you think that this restaurant is a little expensive for us ?
Drew: (a bit sharply) Dad, I was trying to be professional. (huffs a little) Is there no pleasing you ?
Nathan: (crotchety) I'll be pleased if the girl of your liking meets my standards.
Drew: (muttering) As far as my needs are concerned, you never give any of the women I met in the past a fair chance… Not that there were many…Since you scared them all away.
Nathan: What was that, Andrew ?
Drew: Nothing, nothing ! Look, dad. Here they come. (nervously fiddles with his tie)
Nathan: Stop messing around with your tie. You look like a dweeb !
Drew: (grumbles irritably)
Jewel: This must be Andrew, the man our daughter has been telling us so much about !
(effervescently, shakes his hand) I'm Jewel ! This is my husband, Dante.
Dante: How do you do, sir ?
Nathan: Quite well.
Nathan: And who is this pristine creature ? Come up here and let me get a good look at you.
(Cassy walks up rather demurely but Nathan looks her over intently)
Nathan: Excellent bone structure, lovely cheek bones, and a red head. Nice touch.
Now let's see if you can entertain me with your wit and intellect.
Andrew: (slaps his hand over his eyes) Please. God. Kill me now.
Dante: (raising a quizzical brow)
Jewel: Come on, Dante. Let's sit down and get to know Andrew and his interesting father.
Dante: (being taken by the hand but too stunned to say anything)
(Everyone is seated and soon a waiter comes to assist them)
Pierre: (friendly, congenially) Bon soir, mes amis. Bienvenue a Lamoure. I'm Pierre. I'll be your server for today.
Dante: (seating Jewel and then sitting next to her) This was an exquisite choice. I have heard the food here is simply divine. Whatever made you decide on Lamoure ?
Jewel: Yes ! Tell us everything, Andrew.
Andrew: (clears throat) I took Cassy here and we both found it to be immensely romantic. We were also knocked out of our socks when we tried the food. Everything we've sampled has been nothing but perfect.
Cassy: He's right. You definitely exchange quality for quantity here. We also figured you can dine on a shoestring here.
Nathan: (dubiously) Not buying it.
Andrew: Dad, please.
Pierre: (pointing out the menu items) As you can see, we have our special of soup de jour, which comes with half a sandwich. Our wines are also imported direct from France, but we do serve local wines and spirits here if you are interested.
Cassy: Try the champagne. It is ambrosial.
Nathan: (to Cassy) How did you two meet anyway ?
Cassy: At the library, of all places. You see, I work there. I am a researcher.
Nathan: Mmm-hmm. Beauty and brains. Starting to like you more already. Bet you keep my son on his toes, don't you ?
Andrew: (mortified, groaning) Dad…please. You're ruining everything.
Nathan: Relax, boy. I think you should have some wine…loosen up a bit.
Andrew: Fine. I will then. I would like to have the rose wine, if you will.
Pierre: Excellent choice, monsignor. For anyone else ?
Cassy: Champagne, please.
Pierre: Good. And for the lovely couple ?
Jewel: Oh, we don't drink.
Dante: We'll just have your raspberry lemonade.
Pierre: (nods) And for you, monsignor ?
Nathan: Fosters. None of that fufu frog crap, the real stuff.
Pierre: (Slightly put off) As you wish, monsignor. I will return with your drinks to take you orders. (walks off in sort of a huff)
Andrew: (embarrassed) Dad, must you really act like an uncouth jackanapes ?
Nathan: (with some irritation) Must you always be a damn goody-two-shoes ? God !
Sometimes I even wonder if we're related.
Jewel: (awkward chuckle) Isn't this the greatest ? Beautiful classical music, time together with our two lovebirds…And I head from an undisclosed source that there would be something incredible and unforgettable happening here tonight !
Cassy: (looking at Andrew) Is there ?
Andrew: Actually there is. (over the radio, "Once, Twice, Three Times A Lady" plays) Cassy, would you dance with me ?
Cassy: (stammers) Me ? In front of all these people ?
Andrew: Just pretend they're not there. You're with me now. That's all that matters.
(As the song plays, Andrew sings to her all the way to the end)
Nathan: Not a shabby dancer either, I'll give your daughter that. Great set of gams, too. (whistles slightly and clicks teeth flirtatiously)
Jewel: (not really sure what to say) Thank you. I…think.
Andrew: (getting down on one knee) Cassy Iris Matthias, would you do me the honor by making me one of the luckiest men alive and tying the proverbial knot with me ?
Cassy: Of course I would, Andrew Jake MacCullum. I love you. Just like the song says, "You be the prince, and I'll be the princess. It's a love story, baby just say, YES !"
Drew: (chuckles and draws her into a dip to kiss her)
(The parents at the table gasp for a moment)
Nathan: Took you long enough to pop the question, boy !
Andrew: (trembling a little) I only want you to have the best. (laughs a little) I can't help shaking around you. My whole frame feels alive, down to my atoms !
Cassy: (accepting the ring and shaking a little a well) As do I, my little abacus.
Drew: (chuckle) I like the sound of that. Hee hee. Little abacus.
Cassy: You are the mathematical whiz, not I.
(The two sit down at the table and the parents applaud)
Dante: I couldn't be gladder for you. So…do you two have a date planned ?
Drew: (holding her hands) We were setting a tentative date in early June. We're wanting an outdoor wedding, but we have a backup plan if there's rain.
Nathan: I think you have yourself a winner there, son. Sexy, smoldering, hot and blazingly incandescent…My grandkids are gonna be geniuses ! Good JOB, boy ! (laughing while patting him hard on the back)
Drew: Heh, yeah. (unenthusiastically) Yea me !
(Scene fade, "Love Story" plays as the two are married, kiss and Cassy piggybacks Drew down the aisle as the congregation follows. They are soon shown dancing to "The Two of Us" and everyone is enjoying themselves on the dance floor. Cassy makes an announcement that she is about to throw the bouquet and a fetching woman named Natasha catches it. Then the garter is thrown and Nathan catches it.)
Scene 5--Celebration of Love
Nathan: Why, hello gorgeous !
Natasha: (tittering) Hello yourself, lady killer.
Nathan: Might I have the honor of knowing your name, my lady fair ?
Natasha: Natasha, and you, handsome ?
Nathan: (raised brow, a bit sultry) I'm Nathan. (beat) Nathan MacCullum. You're awfully light on your feet 'Tasha. Love to see you off them.
Natasha: (giggling) Oh my ! You rogue !
Nathan: (chuckling) Forgive me if I am a little forward. Sometimes alcohol makes a man say strange things, but I am not inebriated. It is your beauty that intoxicates me.
Natasha: Oh…you. (launches herself at him and starts kissing him)
Cassy: (walking around, not noticing her father-in-law making out with Tasha) Chrissy ! How's my best bridesmaid doing ?
Chris: (weeping) I couldn't be happier for you, darling ! You're so beautiful and talented and couldn't deserve better ! (sniffles) But who's that chick making out with your father-in-law ?
Cassy: (looks) Oh, good LORD. (shields eyes) I don't know but even though part of me is disgusted I am happy he found someone. Love is, after all, the great equalizer.
Chris: Yeah. (laugh) I'll say.
Drew: There's my lovely wife ! ("Mama Told Me Don't Lose You" plays) Come on !
Let's dance !
Cassy: Love to, my love. I adore this song ! Woo ! (is swept away) Whee !
Dan: They are a cute couple, aren't they ?
Chris: (shrieks somewhat) Sure are. Man…dude. You almost gave me a heart attack.
Dan: Since they're busy enjoying their own groove, how about you dance with me ?
Chris: (bashfully) Sure. Why not ? You're Dan, right ? Drew's best man.
Dan: Yep. The one, the only. The incomprehensible. That's me.
Chris: So, other than dancing with me, what are your intentions ?
Dan: Actually I had good news to bear to you.
Chris: Ooooo ! Go on and dish it out to me !
Dan: A pretty little songbird told me that you're going to be taking over as CEO at the library because Cassy is being promoted as Andrew's research partner.
Chris: That's amazing ! This is a real fairy-tale story come true, isn't it ?
Dan: I'd like to believe that it is.
Scene 6--Happily Ever After
("We'll Be Together" plays on the radio, and Cassy is standing at the front of the research boat)
Cassy: (arms outstretched) I'm queen of the world !
Emilia: (with somewhat of a speech impediment) I'm princess of the world !
Nancy: (aping her) Me too, Emilia !
Cassy: (with concern, in a reproving manner) Emilia Ann, Nancy Marie ! Be careful my little novae. Don't lean out too far or you'll fall in the sea !
(Girls gasp and hold on to their mother with a semblance of fear)
Nancy: (fear subsiding) We're safe with you though, aren't we mama ?
Cassy: (compassionately) You certainly are, dumplings.
Andrew: (narrating with some hints of pride in tone) That, my faithful friends is my spellbinding wife and our beautiful children, Emilia Ann and Nancy Marie. My wife now comes with me on my expeditions and travels to my symposiums, helping me assist other physicists like myself to make the world a better place, or at least inch it along onto a better path. (nostalgically) I had thought my probability of her falling in love with me was slim to none but now I know miracles can't be measured by math or quantified scientifically. Numbers may have been my main squeeze all these years but this librarian rekindled my imagination and my zest for life itself. (endearingly) Also, my little angels, these precious girls of mine, they are my crown jewels. There is nothing more precious than they are. (adventurously) And honestly, I couldn't be happier right now, being in her embrace and feeling the tiny hands of my little girls clasping to me as Dan speeds us to our next destination, wherever it may take us.
(End, roll credits to "3 Is A Magic Number")