Realization is a funny thing. Sometimes it takes years to dawn on us, and sometimes it happens in a matter of seconds.

Sometimes, when looking back, you wonder if you'd taken a second to think it over, where you would be instead.

My answers are simple, cold, and lonely.

My answers were never answers, just escapes,

Cowardly avenues of fear to clutter into,

And completely fucking stupid.

I have a new answer now,

Well, as new as 6 years can be considered.

I have an answer that asks me new questions,

Questions me daily,

And makes me wonder about everything.

When I wake up in the middle of nightmares,

When my breath gets lost somewhere between my chest and mouth,

When my memories start clawing their way back up

She fixes it.

Finds the loophole,

The safeword,

The flaw in the failing structure.

Our memories aren't lined in razors like yours,

Aren't built on a house of broken dreams and lies.

Ours are built on something stronger,

And something stranger.

Defying logic,

Defying ourselves,

This is perfection.

This is my life now.

Sometimes it takes disaster to remind us of what's been there

The whole goddamn time.