A/N: Originally posted from 1 January 2007 to 21 September 2007. I had taken them down earlier this year, but I'm putting them back up. Main difference being that nearly all the chapters have been renamed and/or have musical tag lines and some punctuation corrections. Other than that, not much was changed. (I mean, I was going to change things, but then this thing called laziness reared it's ugly head followed by school). Enjoy.

Chapter One: Shroud

I think I see my life
He bows all slyly and gentle-like
He's never had the right
But I've never lived without his sad and jealous eyes

-"Let Your Love Grow Tall" by Passion Pit

"He never leaves home without it anymore, I'm just worried is all," Helen said defensively.

"You know you shouldn't make any comments about it; it's the only way he feels comfortable leaving the house these days," Kathy chastised her aunt. "You should be happy he's getting out at all."

"Jesus Christ, can't a mother be worried about her son?" She remarked back clearly frustrated. "I'm going outside," Helen announced picking up her purse and exiting the front door. She got outside just in time to see Adrien rollerblade off to the entrance of the community covered in jackets and scarves topped off with a hat. She prayed he didn't collapse or die of heat stroke in the hot July sun before the thought crossed her mind that that was probably exactly what he was aiming for. She groaned and fished out her pack of cigarettes, a habit long since gone until things got too stressed for her to cope with after April.

That's the reason why she was like she was now, in short, a walking disaster. She had been devastated that day, just as much as anyone else, but she didn't show it by outright crying since she was still experiencing all that shock could offer her. She felt her son resented her for that and was why he didn't talk to her anymore.

"But he doesn't talk to anyone anymore," Helen reminded herself to make herself feel better, not to draw awareness to the fact that he still wasn't over it. But who could get over something like that overnight?

She groaned in frustration as she lit up and took a long drag off of her cigarette, fancying the idea that she could feel it polluting her lungs and slowly suffocating her. She wondered if she was really pretending or not. Ms. Mitchell formed useless fists, groaning when she didn't see anything to hit or punch, even her car was slumbering in the garage. She just wanted to pulverize something, and with a certain prick behind bars she didn't even have the satisfaction of exacting revenge.

Why must she be reminded everyday though? She cast her eyes down in shame at the contempt she felt towards her son. If it wasn't for him she'd still be the happy person she was. She wouldn't be killing herself one cancer stick at a time. She'd still have her faith. Helen couldn't fathom the people who'd been through so much and insisted it strengthened their connection with God for she'd be perfectly content without going through any of the shit she'd gone through.

Heavily sighing again she decided she'd just have to deal with it. Everyone has their own problems after all.

From the window her niece turned away, tired of watching her mope around like it was her world that got turned upside down. Kathy knew exactly how she was feeling, but held no remorse. Adrien was the real victim; her aunt was just seeking attention. Adrien was the one who suffered. It was Adrien who had it all happen to him, Adrien who couldn't stand to have anyone touch him now, and it was Adrien who would have to deal with that for the rest of his life. Kathy guised everything she did and felt about Adrien as help, so she didn't understand why her favorite cousin was always shying away from her. Truth be told, Adrien didn't like to be pitied and Kathy's pity mixed with her maternal instincts that were now kicked in high gear was all together smothering.

"Do you think that he'll be back in time for the party?" Helen asked entering her home again after she'd finished her cigarette.

"You smell like smoke," Kathy remarked, pulling a face.

"I just got finished smoking, what do you expect me to smell like, sunshine and daisies?" Helen rolled her eyes.

Kathy let out a deep sigh before turning back towards the television. "Honestly, I don't think he will."

"Then why are we even setting it up?"

"Because it's going to be one of his last, if not his last, chance to have all of his friends together…well, most of his friends anyway," Kathy added, remembering that some of his friends had opted not to come fearing it'd be too awkward and the rest had gone to summer programs for their school of choice, if it wasn't that then they had moved, like Dax.

"So we'll just carry on like normal then I suppose. Pretend he's coming and have it all set up by two-thirty and wait for the guests to roll in?"

"Of course," replied Kathy.

-xXx-

A soft knock resounded through the shallow corridors of Sam's apartment. It was just what Sam was waiting for all day for, the one thing he had to look forward to lately. Rushing to the door, he carefully opened it letting in his very welcomed guest. Adrien nodded seemingly timid and spoke Sam's name to pass for acknowledgement, and though the gesture was barely noticeable, and hardly audible on top of that, Sam smiled warmly back as Adrien stripped off most of his layers. Sam remembered asking about them what seemed like ages ago and Adrien responded that they made him feel safe and that was that; Sam didn't question it anymore.

"You can turn on the TV if you'd like," Sam told him after Adrien had been sitting on the living room couch in silence.

"Thanks," he said just above a whisper, mostly because his voice was still hoarse from not speaking all morning. Usually he would have cleared his throat or hummed before speaking so it didn't come out like he was still that scared boy he left back in that high school bathroom. Today just wasn't one of those days.

"I guess you haven't spoken at all this morning," Sam stated more than asked from the kitchen. He was scouring the pantry for something they could snack. "Note to self," he thought. "Groceries are your friend."

"I haven't really been talking for the last few days actually," Adrien admitted, still not having opted to turn on the television. "That's why I haven't been around. I've been in my room most of the time."

"Fearing old age?" Sam joked as he came back to the couch and sat down with a bowl of potato chips. He was situated on the opposite side of the couch that Adrien was sitting on and Adrien had the still nameless cat in his lap. The television was off and you could hear the air conditioner turn on as they sat there quietly on that blistering hot July day.

"Sam?" Adrien asked, slightly surprising the other man. Sam hadn't actually expected Adrien to say more than he already had. Adrien was the type of person to talk about how his life was going at the time to strike up a conversation and since it was summer, and he didn't hang out with his friends anymore, there wasn't much to talk about. Sam managed to fill in for him though. The silence and lulls in conversation were less than comforting to both parties.

"Yes?" Sam finally replied, realizing that he had let his thoughts get ahead of him yet again.

"It's been fifteen weeks today, you know."

"Yeah, I know."

"And it's my birthday today, the fifteenth."

"Yeah."

"I think it's a sign," Adrien said.

"What kind of sign?"

"Sam…how much more of my shit do you think they'll put up with?"

He smartly paused before answering. "Let's see…um, how do I phrase this?" Another pause. "I don't think that there is any shit they have to put up with," Sam stated.

Adrien scoffed in response. He was already giving off signals that he was in one of his rare talking moods. "Oh please. You're just saying that to be nice. I'm being serious. I feel like I'm becoming too much of a burden for them and I should just end it all."

"Uh…" Sam started out, already reaching for his cell phone cautiously. "Maybe this is something you should talk to your therapist about?" he softly suggested.

"What?" Adrien snapped his concentration to the other side of the couch where Sam was already searching his contacts list. "No, no, no. That's not what I meant!" He said urgently. "I mean I should just move out," Adrien explained, making Sam give a sigh of relief. "My mom is always criticizing the way I do things, disregarding that she's a holy mess, no pun intended," Adrien added when he saw Sam smile at the expression. They both knew Helen Mitchell stopped calling herself a Catholic a little after all of this started up. "And Kathy is fucking smothering me!" He said exasperatedly collapsing on the couch towards Sam. His head was next to Sam's right thigh and Adrien was staring up through the fringes of hair that had fallen upon his face. "Her motherliness is choking me, Sam," Adrien frowned. "Not as much as the cigarettes my mom smokes, but almost just as badly."

"I thought you didn't mind smoking," Sam gave him a questioning look.

"Only if it's me or Royal," Adrien confessed. "Or you," Adrien added, even though Sam didn't smoke. "It's mostly about the person, and I like all of the people I mentioned."

"So you don't like your mother now?"

"I like the person she used to be," Adrien answered, letting the cat crawl out of his lap. Sam sniffled a bit; he'd taken his allergy medication later than usual that day.

"Well, babe, what do you want to do? Are you asking to move in?"

"I can't, it's just that simple. I want to, but I can't."

"Why not? I mean, we've almost been together for a year now, and I'd be glad to have you," Sam offered before he remembered that now Adrien wouldn't even sleep in the same bed as him. "And Daniel's been talking about moving out for a little while now, so you can have your own room if you'd like."

"I'm flattered, really, I am. The thing is, my shrink suggested to my mother that I stay at home for another year, and then go to the college down the road," Adrien informed him.

"Well then, won't she be surprised when you go to that art school in the fall?" Sam mused.

"Yeah," Adrien mumbled.

"Look," Sam said, gently stroking Adrien's hair, a gesture he knew that Adrien found calming. "I only got a one year lease on this place and it's running out at the end of the month," Sam told him. "Daniel's probably not going to stay here any longer and I don't know if I want to renew it or find someplace else. You can move in with me when I've decided. Plus, it won't be that big a deal because in mid August you're off to school and, while it'll still be our place, for you it'll be more of a place to stay during break."

"Okay then, but can I help you decide?" Adrien asked, still in the same position.

"Of course."

"I vote that you absoutively posolutley…" Adrien looked around and a slight expression that could almost pass for a grin formed on his face. "Move out."

This took Sam by surprise once more. "You sure?"

"Of course."

Sam wondered what prompted such a feeling in Adrien before he glanced around the apartment as well. To any prospective house hunter, or in his case apartment hunter, the place was marvelous, but to its inhabitants (including their frequent guest) it was utterly and wholly disheartening. "Mayhap you're right. The place has lost its luster, so to speak. It just seems so…lifeless. And dead. Since you're going to be moving in with me maybe you could help me find a new place?" suggested Sam. "You are still going to live with me, aren't you?"

"No doubt about it. I'd love to help you find a place but…"

"What? Are you still concerned about your mom?" Adrien slightly shrugged at Sam's inquiry. "Babe, you're nineteen, what can she do? She can't lawfully keep you there just because some stuffy professional says you're not ready to leave. You have a fully functioning mind and nothing's wrong with you."

"I'd like to see you try and tell that to her," Adrien was referring to his mom.

"Fine then, I will. Maybe later though," he remarked causing the corners of Adrien's lips to curl upwards in a half smile. "Besides, I have a feeling she was just doing that to make her feel better about everything," Sam said in a more sombre tone.

"Can we not?" Adrien asked, all traces of happiness slowly fleeting from his features.

"Right. Anyway, back to house hunting," he said perkily in attempt to cheer the other man up. "Wanna start today?"

"If we do we'll have to make it quick," Adrien informed him as he rose from the couch, holding fast to the unzipped sweatshirt he hadn't taken off. Even though Sam didn't question Adrien about his layers he still wondered how he managed to wear them all in the deadly heat.

"Why?" Sam furrowed his eyebrows as he also got up.

Adrien sighed softly, managing to get a soft smile to slip onto his face. "Contrary to popular belief I actually do want to go to my own birthday party. I literally may never see these people again."

"You say it like you've moved so far away from them or something," Sam said as he joined Adrien at he door.

"It's not like I see them all the time these days, you know. I haven't spoken to most of them since they visited me in the hospital now that I think about it, but you know I don't count that," Adrien added, knowing he didn't say much then.

"Yeah, I know," Sam said opening the door for him.

-xXx-

"He's late," Helen commented bitterly.

"Give him some time," Kathy insisted with a slightly sour appearance.

"I'm going out for a smoke," Helen told her flatly.

"Fine, go smoke out all your problems," Kathy spat at her, completely apathetic to her own volume. Kathy didn't think it was a big deal that Adrien wasn't there yet. She hadn't counted on him coming to begin with and there were only two party guests so far. Helen was not exactly as understanding. Her opinion on the matter was that if you're having a party it's your duty as the host to be there before your guests arrive, even if they arrive before everything's set up.

However, when the other guests had arrived and Adrien still wasn't there Kathy did let her aunt have her little form of release, a small price to pay, a stress reliever for having to host a good get together chock full of people of whom she didn't talk to at all.

-xXx-

A score of epithets escaped Sam's mouth when he got into his car and turned the engine over. He was glowering at the digital green numbers when Adrien got in the car.

"She was really nice," Adrien said about the real estate agent. "She gave me a cookie," he said holding it up, an inflection of happiness lighting his tone.

"That's great, babe," Sam offered a pleasant look to him before he decided to tell him. "Um…Adrien…?" he started out as he pulled away.

"Yeah?"

"We're late," Sam informed him with a slight grimace.

"Oh," Adrien simply remarked looking out at the scenery passing by out his window. "Well…they probably think I'm with you, so they'll call you to ask you where I am if they really want to know if I'm coming."

"True," nodded Sam.

"Don't expect that call to come," Adrien told him, reminding the other man that the Mitchell household was probably carrying on with his party just for the sake of some normalcy; they hadn't even expected Adrien to show.

Since Sam had sped basically the whole way to Adrien's house they managed to make it there only fifteen minutes late. Adrien got through it by listening to the radio with his seat reclined so he wouldn't see how Sam darted and weaved recklessly through early rush-hour traffic.

"Thank you," Adrien smiled at him, laying a hand casually on Sam's thigh, his face telling that he was debating something in his head. He decided to get out of the car. "Come on," he said playfully, already walking to his porch. A twist of the knob and several head turns later put them in the middle of Adrien's birthday party.

"Sorry we're late everybody," Sam spoke for them. "Traffic was hell." The greetings were awkward for a bit. The guests had just assumed he wasn't coming and saying "So glad you came" to your host seemed less than appropriate.

"Hey 'Dri," Royal caught his attention. "Come over here," he motioned. He was the only one who didn't make things feel discomfiting.

Adrien squeezed Sam's hand lightly, seemingly telling him not to leave his side before Sam smiled down at him and said, "Don't worry; I'm not going anywhere." They walked over together to where Royal stood holding Christine in his arms.

"So you two ended up together after all, eh?" Royal asked, not having talked to Adrien since before that April.

Adrien nodded with a slight smile, blushing slightly at the question.

"We've actually been together for a while," Sam filled him in and Royal nodded. "How about you guys? How've you been?"

"Pretty good," answered Royal nonchalantly. "We're going to travel day after tomorrow. Just a normal road trip, you know."

After they had finished conversing with Royal and Christine they found Steve and chatted with him and his date. Steve had come with a gorgeous girl on his arm and a look on his face that held some sort of secret to it, like he was enjoying himself but would be even more after the party was over. Sam couldn't fathom why, but Adrien knew. The girl's name was Charlotte and she was wearing a chartreuse party dress. She was just about as quiet as Adrien was, obviously feeling a little out of place.

"Adrien!" Kathy yelled for him. "It's time to blow out your candles and cut the cake." Adrien's expression instantly brightened as he tugged on Sam's hand and they made it into the dining room. Everyone poured around the table that had been extended by the leaf in its middle and began to sing "Happy Birthday" to Adrien.

"Now make a wish and blow out the candles," Sam whispered in Adrien's ear. Adrien paused in thought for a moment before inhaling deeply and blowing out all nineteen of the flames.

"Yay!" Kathy cheered loudly with everyone else. "Now, I'm going to cut the cake, okay? You gonna do it?" She looked at him expectantly. Adrien nodded, sure of himself. He knew he had it in him…somewhere. "Okay," she said as she drove the knife into the cake.

An earth shattering scream fled Adrien's lips. It felt like freedom.