remember how i said:
"as to how love
(within its entirety)
ends fully, completely—
well, that's another story
for another day"
well, sooner or later,
it would come. and it finally
did. nothing short of a miracle,
this heartbreak is. make me
speak like yoda, it does.
apparently, my soul's too old for
these relationship things. or perhaps
he is too young and carefree
for all this.
maybe, just maybe, it's not our
fault what we had ended so silently.
maybe, just maybe, i actually had
good reasons to end everything and
crash them all to bits
with my hand formed as a fist
(what those good reasons were, i wonder)
these maybes and this heavy remorse
i know, none of these help me, yes
but what is there to cling to now that
it's done and over—my friends? my family?
too self-centered to care about each other
not to mention disapproving my weakness
to whom shall i run for comfort? i don't know.
(i wish for a brighter day, at the moment, that's all i know)
note: with this entry, this pillowbook ends. i've closed a chapter in my life just yesterday, so i'll be starting a new pillowbook to recount my experiences and feelings instead of continuing this one. this has been nice and short, but going on with this would mean i didn't leave somethings behind me and i (can't) don't want to end up with such a mistake again. there's also the fact that i now have my facts and fancies separate, so no need to write under this title anymore. big thanks to all those who've read and reviewed.