A/N December 2022 Well, it took 10 years but here it is: part 2 of "Can't Be Friends." I won't make any promises as to when I'll update given how long it's taken me in the past. Lastly, I want to give a shoutout to everyone out there who's been following my story. As always, there will be some offensive language. Character opinions do not reflect my political or social views nor do I own any lyrics which you see here.

**Formerly known as My Ex-Boyfriend, the Ex-Skinhead**

"I can't stop and look the other way
'Cause I know what could be, babe
And you never feel the same
You'd be thinkin' 'bout it every day
Don't believe in fairytales, but we got our fantasies..."

Doja Cat - You Right

Jessica's POV

~2016~

Jeff: Wyd

Me: Just got home from work

Jeff: Arrest anybody famous?

Me: Nah, but I did pull over someone wearing a shrek mask

Jeff: Why?

Me: Outstanding parking tickets

Jeff: No why were they wearing a shrek mask

Me: Oh lol. Yeah he was high af. He had an ounce in his pocket so we got him on possession too

Jeff: I remember this girl in high school who used to get high all the time...

Me: Yeah and she never got caught lol

Jeff: Don't cops have anything better to do….?

Me: No

Jeff: Lol anyway are you coming to Chris's birthday party on Friday?

Me: Yeah

Jeff: Okay because there's a SMALL chance derek might come

Me: Bullshit
Me: I told you to stop playing like that

Jeff: I'm not messing with you this time. He moved back from Wisconsin and chris invited him
Jeff: He probably doesn't even show up but im just giving you fair warning

Me: Smh he's fucking dead if he shows up

Jeff: Please don't

Me: Shouldn't have told me nothing

Jeff: JESS

I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about Derek at least once a day. Back in high school, we'd gone from being enemies, to friends, to almost lovers. He was like a bad habit that I'd been harboring for five years, always at the back of my mind where I could never reach. It didn't help that I worked for the LAPD. I was no longer a weed-smoking hoodrat - I was a cop. Most of the guys on the force were white, and even the ones who weren't, tried their damndest to act white. Something about putting on that badge and uniform made them take on this macho, conservative, pseudo-racist "us versus them" attitude. As much as I loathed that mentality, something about it had drawn me in. It wasn't hard to figure out why: they reminded me of him. But as I'd come to realize, there wasn't anyone like Derek J. Pearson.

He had always been low key about his white supremacist beliefs. And it wasn't because he was afraid of getting his ass kicked - he just didn't feel the need to broadcast it to the whole world. Guys with similar beliefs would say anything if they thought it would get them more likes on Facebook or Instagram. They didn't have the intelligence or self-discipline that he had. Yes, he was a racist asshole but he still had morals; he knew right from wrong. But that's also what made him dangerous. By the time he confessed, I was already attracted to him. The closer we got, the more unglued he became. He hated himself for liking me, maybe even loving me. But in the end, it amounted to nothing. Why would he go through the trouble of rejecting his beliefs and confronting his feelings for me when it was easier to just leave and start a whole new life?

I should hate him for the way he humiliated me but I just couldn't. Part of me hoped that he was happy wherever he was: married and living a nice, quiet life in the Wisconsin suburbs like he always wanted. But then there was the other part of me…the part that would get drunk and ride dick in the dark, imagining that it was him and cumming so hard that I'd sometimes accidently cry out his name. "Who the fuck is Derek?!" they'd growl. I'd sober up real quick and suck them off but the damage was done. Then I'd lay awake at night in my empty bed, hoping that he was miserable and full of regret for the way he treated me. Now that I knew he was back in town, I wasn't sure how to feel.

-Friday night-

If Derek was going to be at Chris's party, then I needed to find the right outfit. It was a dress I'd bought for a Halloween party a few years back. I knew before I even put it on that it wouldn't fit right. But it was the sluttiest dress I could find on such short notice. It was black with these razor thin straps that crossed the backless silhouette. In the front, it sunk in between my breasts. The dress had looked cheap when it fit properly, now it just looked plain trashy. It clung unmercifully to my skin like glue. I was already planning to go braless – but now panties were out of the question, too.

Jeff strolled up beside me as I walked into the lounge, "Bitch, what the fuck are you wearing?"

I smirked, "I got this from your closet, hoe. Is Derek here?"

His playful tone turned serious. "Don't."

"Is he here or not?"

"Can't you just leave him alone and have a good time?"

"Where is he?"

"Christ Jess, he's not here yet," he answered exhaustively before storming off to the bar.

Before I could even respond, Garrett came up from behind me. "There's my girl…" he purred, running his hands down my backside.

"I didn't think you were coming," I said, slightly annoyed.

"Oh yeah? Then why are you wearing this come-fuck-me dress?"

"I dunno. Maybe I was looking for a new man…" I teased.

He playfully groaned, "Nobody can handle you like me."

I twirled in his arms to face him. He immediately gave me a sloppy, wet kiss. I met Garrett during a traffic stop. He was going 70 in a 40 zone – I couldn't let that slide. Plus, he'd been driving a souped-up red Camaro. I figured he was a prick and didn't feel the least bit bad writing him a speeding ticket. When I approached him, he turned on the charm. He was blonde, 6'5, 210 pounds with a killer smile. I still wrote him a ticket, but gave him my number, too. Our little fling was only a couple weeks old and I didn't see it lasting much longer. But it was nice to feel wanted.

Garrett and I got our drinks and joined Jeff in the lounge. My eyes continued scanning the room for Derek but to no avail. I started to wonder if Jeff was fucking with me – it wouldn't be the first time. A few years back, he told me Derek was coming home for Christmas. At the time, I hadn't seen or heard from him in 18 months. But the holidays came and went without him ever coming home. I accused Jeff of making the whole thing up, which he denied. And when I asked him for Derek's new phone number, he flat out refused. Jeff and I wound up not speaking to each other for 6 months until we made up. By then, Derek had been gone for 2 years and I was getting dicked down by other guys. We never spoke of him again until now.

Disappointed and needing a breather, I excused myself. People stared at me as I headed towards the warmly-lit garden at the west wing of the club. I should have borrowed Garrett's jacket to cover up my joke of a dress. I didn't feel sexy anymore, just vulnerable and exposed. Thankfully, there weren't as many people on this end since all the booze was being served on the opposite side. I traced my fingers along the wall of flowers lining the pathway. It was pathetic how just the mention of his name sent me spiraling, turning me into someone I didn't want to be. Once again, he was a no show and I looked like a fucking idiot.

I rounded the corner and was startled by a man sitting along the fountain's edge. He had his head buried in his drink – I guess I wasn't the only one having a bad night. I kept walking so I wouldn't have to make awkward eye contact with him.

"Jess?" he called out. I knew that voice - that deep, masculine voice that could make me swoon with a whisper or piss me off with an arrogant tone.

With my shoulders squared and guard up, I slowly turned to face Derek. He looked a little rough around the edges. His hair was short and ruffled, but longer than it had been in high school. His tie was hanging off his collar and he was nursing an almost-empty glass filled with dark liquor. But those eyes of his were just as blue as I remembered, still reminiscent of a tropical beach. His body was still big and slender, pity it was covered by a suit. He closed the distance between us. The scent of his cologne was heavenly. It was undeniably high-end; maybe Armani or Burberry. All Garrett ever wore was Axe body spray.

Although he'd been the one to call out for me, he approached me with an accusatory glare in his eyes. All I could do was stand there frozen with my tits hanging out. It's like I was right back in my old bedroom all those years ago: I'd just told him that I was in love with him and in return, he called me a spic whore. Heartbroken, I didn't have the strength to fight him the way I would have before. I'd become a soft bitch. I wasn't going to make that same mistake again.

I crossed my arms defiantly, pushing my breasts high and tight. He took notice but didn't let his eyes linger for long. Inside, I was smirking. The bastard rejected me and now years later, he was checking out my rack. I guess he was finally seeing all the fun he missed out on.

"You've got a lot of fuckin' nerve showing your face around here," I said darkly.

"Chris invited me. I came here for him, not you."

I threw my hands up in the air and snapped, "So why the fuck are you following me?"

"Don't flatter yourself. I've been trying to avoid you ever since I got here. But we always seem to find each other."

"Maybe you should have stayed gone, then."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"You sure? You have a habit of leaving."

He rolled his eyes and took another gulp of his drink. I'd hit a nerve and was proud of it.

"Five years and you're still bitter."

"Five years and you still have a hard-on for me." He'd been sporting a tent the entire time we'd been talking.

"I know what you're trying to do, alright? I'm not stupid. Look at yourself, walking around in that short dress, trying to get my attention."

"What makes you think this is for you?" It was all for him.

"You knew I was coming."

"For your information, I have a man and he likes it when I dress like this. He's not some miserable asshole like you."

He paused and chugged the rest of his drink. "You know, I wasn't going to say anything to you. I-I thought I could ignore you but-" He stared me down to make sure I was listening. "I realize we're never going to get along but that doesn't mean we can't be civil."

I looked away in anger, not really knowing what I was angry about. He was going to ignore me – pretend I didn't exist. But because he'd changed his mind and decided to be civil, I should be grateful?

"What do you mean by civil?"

He shrugged, "Saying hi and bye without it being some painful experience."

"Well, I can't be civil with you. After what you did, you should be on your knees begging me for forgiveness."

"I don't have anything to be sorry for."

"Then we have nothing more to say to each other."

Derek's POV

After I moved back to the city, Chris reached out to me. His parents were throwing him a birthday party at their country club. He asked me to stop by, saying it would be a reunion of sorts since Jeff was coming, too. We hadn't really spoken all that much in college. Early on, we made plans to hang out a few times during the summer. But as the years went on, I had backed out on them too many times so eventually, they stopped inviting me altogether. And as for Jess...I guess no explanation was needed. Although he never mentioned her, I knew they kept in touch. I had a sinking feeling she'd be there but I agreed to go nonetheless. Still, I couldn't bring myself to get out of the car when I arrived. I thought seriously about turning around and going home. That is until I spotted her walking across the parking lot… I'd recognize that ass anywhere. She was wearing a skimpy little dress that left little to the imagination – not that I had to imagine. The memory of her voluptuous naked body straddling me had haunted my dreams for years. I hated how she still had that power over me. The boy in me was still angry at her for what she did. The boy in me was still bitter at her for ruining his plans. The boy in me still thought he was right.

Inside, I found Chris and his parents. "Hey, bro! Long time, no see!" he said, greeting me with a hug.

"Happy birthday, man."

"Derek! I haven't seen you since you were in middle school!" his mom Tabitha squealed. "I always knew you'd be handsome once you grew out of that baby fat."

"Okay Tabby, let the boy breath." His dad Connor rolled his eyes and shook my hand. "How was Wisconsin? I hear you're a junior analyst for US Bank."

"Yes, sir. Wisconsin was great. I'd have stayed there but salary-wise, this is where the money is."

"I hear that. But in 10-20 years, you'll be able to buy your own cabin out there."

"That's the plan."

They went off to greet more guests, allowing Chris and I to catch up. He looked me up and down, "Bro, how are you still so fit? I've gained like 20 pounds since high school. What the fuck."

I smirked, "Come work out with me."

"At 5am every morning? No thanks. Anyway, everybody's in the bar lounge. Get yourself a drink and I'll join you guys later."

I stood at the entrance of the lounge, surveying the room for Jess. I spotted her at the bar with a guy I'd never seen before. He was white with shaggy blonde hair, wearing a poorly-fitted suit. He looked like the hulk towering over her. As they waited for their drinks, he dipped his hands along her backside, stopping to caress her ass. He couldn't go 2 seconds without touching her – not that I blamed him. Part of me was happy she'd found someone. But the other part of me was jealous and wanted to flay that guy alive for putting his hands on her. To make matters worse, they sat down with Jeff and a large group of people in a round booth – all squished together. Even if there'd been enough room for me, I still didn't want to face Jess. I went off to the bar near the golf course. It was an older crowd filled with the Matson's friends. I got a double whiskey and wandered around the club, looking for somewhere to be alone.

As I drowned my regret and frustration into my drink, I saw what I thought was a random girl pass by – only she was wearing the same slutty dress as Jess. It couldn't be…unless she was stalking me. But if she were, why didn't she confront me? I chased her down, and sure enough it was her. It didn't take long for us to start arguing. We both tried to claim moral superiority over the other while attempting to ignore our fiery attraction. It was hard for me to think clearly with her tits on display like that. I found myself wanting to get on my hands and knees, crawl up to her and suck on them until she loved me again. Thankfully, she still appeared to loathe me and demanded an apology – which I vehemently denied her. She stormed off back inside, leaving me frustrated with a hard dick like so many times before.

I didn't want to go back inside, but I was in dire need of a refill. I snuck back in, only to be ambushed by Jeff. He eyed me like he knew I'd been avoiding him this whole time.

"And where the fuck have you been?"

"Avoiding…certain people."

He softened his features, knowing exactly who I was referring to.

"Yeah, she was looking for you earlier."

"Well, she found me."

"What happened?"

I shrugged, "She hates me."

"No, she doesn't. She just wants you to think she does."

"I don't even care. I'm done playing her games."

"Good for you."

"Who's that joker she's with?"

"Garrett Boyd. He's a third string tight end for the Raiders."

I sneered, "That's the best she could do?"

Jeff smirked, "He's actually a step up from the last guy."

"Jesus, how many have there been?!"

He turned away, trying to find a polite way to say 'a lot.' "She gets bored easily; almost like she's measuring them up against some impossible standard," he said cryptically.

"Yeah, you," I answered back.

He busted out laughing, "It's true, though. If I was straight, I'd be marrying her instead of Nate. Sorry, Der."

I rolled my eyes, "Wouldn't care either way. So when do I get to meet Nate?"

"Ugh, he'll be out of town until next month so you won't get to meet him until the wedding. You're still coming, right?"

"Of course. Who else is going to give away the bride?" I joked

"You piece of shit," he said playfully, launching his fist into my gut. "Come on, let's go get drunk."

Jeff and I got ourselves a refill before I reluctantly followed him to the booth. Thankfully, most of his groupies had gone dancing. Even Jess was nowhere to be found, although Garrett was seated at the far end. Not conversing with anyone, he appeared to be playing a game on his phone. Despite his large frame, there didn't seem to be a lot going on upstairs. I guess a guy would have to be brain-dead to put up with Jess. I almost felt sorry for him.

"You still see Dr. Sisone?" Jeff asked.

His question snapped me out of my thoughts. "Hm? What? Yeah, but I've got a find a new doctor that's based here."

"Do you still take those meds?"

"Been trying to wean myself off of them. Now's that schools over, I don't think I need them anymore."

"So you're feeling okay now?"

"I'm not going to do anything, Jeff. Really. I'm just going to take things slow, focus on work." I answered reassuringly.

"You know I'm always here if you need someone to talk to."

"Thanks," I answered sheepishly. "...Did you ever tell her about what happened?"

He looked at me wide-eyed, "NO. Never. Not even Chris knows because you know he'd tell her."

I pursed my lips, "I appreciate that."

"...Did-did you want me to tell her?"

I slowly shook my head, "Nah. I don't want her to know. I just wish she'd stop playing these mind games."

"You want me to say something to her?"

I smirked, "She wouldn't listen anyway."

He chuckled, "No, she would not."

It was at that exact moment that Jess returned to the booth. She had her eyes locked in on me as she slid over to Garrett, putting her legs over his lap. And because her dress was too short, it had ridden up so high that I could practically see her ass cheeks. Garrett grinned and dropped his phone, eager to touch her. He ran his hands up and down her legs as they flirted with each other. A bitterness coursed through my heart and into my veins. Now, not only did I want to kill him – I wanted to kill her, too. If I couldn't have her, then no one would. That's how deep the jealously went. I thought about all the times I could have had her, when we were at the brink but stopped ourselves. And the countless fantasies I'd had of fucking her, and then later, making love to her. It made me sick to my stomach to think of all the unworthy guys who'd been inside her, and how I never got to be.

She leaned into his ear and began whispering. He listened intently but there had yet to be an expression on his face. The entire display had begun to bore me. And then Garrett's eyes shot up at me with an accusing glare. I quickly averted my eyes, embarrassed over being caught staring and angry at myself for even watching them in the first place. To make matters worse, they shared a brief laugh after the fact.

Frustrated with myself, I got up and went to the bar. Whiskey wasn't doing anything for me, so I ordered vodka on the rocks. I was trying to enjoy my drink in peace when Garrett cornered me. He was about 4-5 inches taller me and bulging with steroid-induced muscles. Despite his he-man physique, he had a goofy face that made it hard for me to take him seriously.

"My girl says you were bothering her, I don't know." In addition to the stupid grin on his face, he moved his hands a lot as he talked. "So I'm just letting you know to stay away from her."

"Look, I don't know what she told you but-"

"Doesn't matter. I'm telling you to stay away. I mean, that's how it's gonna be or else-" Again, he threw up his hands, as if I'm supposed to know what they mean. "-you know. And I don't wanna fight you, bro."

I let out a comical scoff, "Not a problem."

Seeing as how I was no longer welcome at the booth, I took a seat at the bar and ordered another drink. It was funny, him telling me to stay away when she was the one he needed to be worried about. She fucked up when she decided to wear that dress and follow me out to the garden. It showed that she still had it bad for me. I bet I could drop my pants right now and she'd be right there, ready to suck my dick. And I'd make her do it in front of everyone: Garrett, Chris, even Jeff. I wanted them to see her for the manipulative whore that she was. But my fantasy quickly dissipated once I saw them leave together.

Feeling a bit more relaxed, I chatted up a leggy blonde named Lauren. She was a grad student at UCLA who worked as a part-time receptionist at Jeff's company. To my delight, she was majoring in Finance. And then out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Jess. God, she was like herpes - she just wouldn't go away. Her eyes were locked with mine as she stalked over to the bar and sat two seats away from Lauren. She clumsily slid her empty wine glass to the bartender, who stupidly gave her a refill. By then, Lauren had noticed my lack of attention. She followed my line of sight to the culprit.

"Friend of yours?"

I sneered, "She wishes."

Like a snake, Jess slid over into the stool next to Lauren. She then purposely dug her elbow into Lauren's back.

"Oh, gosh, I'm sorry," Jess feigned.

Being the classy girl that she was, Lauren refused to take the bait. "It's okay."

Lauren turned back around and gave me a sympathetic look. "I've got an early class tomorrow."

As soon as Lauren was out of earshot, I squeezed Jessica's arm and yanked her into my chest.

"Stop what you're doing before you get hurt," I growled, trying to be as quiet as possible.

She drunkenly scoffed, "Is that a threat?"

"It's a goddamn promise."

"Why'd you come back?!" She asked aloud, drawing the attention of a few bystanders.

"I came back because I wanted to see my friends and you are not one of them."

"Fuck you, Derek!" she screamed.

A concerned Chris and Jeff arrived to see what all the yelling was about, though neither seemed that surprised to find that Jess and I were involved.

"Hey, hey, come on. Not here," Jeff said, trying to pacify her like she was a fucking toddler.

"Yeah, listen for once," I scolded. I wasn't going to baby her like they did.

She attempted to lunge at me but Chris had restrained her. Unfortunately, he hadn't restrained her arms. When she realized she wouldn't able to hit me, she flung her wine glass at my head. Thankfully, the glass didn't break when it struck my forehead. However, the wine inside had doused my face and suit.

"Get her the hell out of here!" Jeff commanded at Chris.

Jess, her face a mixture of arrogance and rage, allowed Chris to drag her out into the lobby. Once she was out of sight, I turned and saw the whole room gawking at me. Embarrassed, I retreated into the men's bathroom with Jeff on my tail.

"I am done with her!"

"Calm down, man."

"No! I'm sick of this shit! Either she goes or I go!"

"I know how you feel, but you can't expect us to pick sides."

I couldn't help but laugh. "She gets drunk and throws a glass of wine at my head and you're telling me that you won't pick sides? Is that right?"

He looked at me apologetically, "Well, you've been gone a long time-"

"That isn't fair! I-" I stopped myself, realizing just how fucking whiny I sounded.

"I know it's not fair to you but you just got back. Give it some time."

I shook my head, wiping off the last of the wine from my face and neck. Jess was literally going to have to kill me in order for my "friends" to see her for what she really was. I'd made the effort to come back here but no one else was returning the favor. Deep down, they still thought of me as that "white nationalist asshole." I can't change what happened in the past. They talk about moving forward but that's bullshit. They got their strength out of making Jess the victim and me their villain. Well, I wasn't going to stick around for that.

"I'm sorry, Jeff. As long as she's around, I can't do this."