"I will hit you with a freakin' bus if you don't get your ass over here soon!"
"Shut up! I'm coming."
Although they argued like siblings, they weren't, in fact, related in any way. Just two people who sometimes crossed paths for many hours a day. In other words, significant friends, as neither wanted to be labeled "the best friend ever," as they both knew they had flaws.
"We're so late! I hate you so much!"
"Oh, no one's gonna mind. Shut your face."
It was always the same. One would grumble about something, and the other would be terrifyingly chill about it. They sometimes alternated, but the argument was always identical to the time before. Neither knew exactly when this pattern began, but it continued on and on; an infinite loop.
"What do you mean, no one will mind if we're late? The movie starts at a set time!"
"So? We can walk in late. Those guys will save us seats, so long as we confirm that we'll be late."
An annoyed look was sent towards the calm individual. The same look was sent back. So many years spent in one another's company and their expressions morphed into one and the same. They shared everything; expressions, a car, drinks, friends, and, not to mention, when they both got Mono.
"Well, do you have your cell phone? Because my mother stole mine last night because she lost hers at a bar."
"Um, no, I don't have mine either. It's at home. I didn't charge it last night, so I didn't bring it."
Annoyance was a common emotion between them. They annoyed each other to no end. There was nothing that couldn't be said to annoy, and everything usually was. Elaborate plans and quick schemes were used to make the other miserable while also testing their reactions. They were incredibly close because of these things though.
"Why would you suggest that, if you didn't have yours?"
"Well I figured that you would be prepared! Don't you know me at all?"
They had good times as well. The elaborate schemes were cause of great amusement, after the fact (a few weeks after in some cases.) The two laughed all the time, about nothing. They spoke of things such as zombie invasions and squids. There were no other topics in their minds; nothing of mundane origin was worth the conversation.
"I do! And I also know that you're gonna give me an aneurism! Ugh. Let's just get on the bus."
"Pfft. You're far too dramatic today. The thing that will give you an aneurism will most likely be the stress of the invasion of Plookesians, and the addition of super weapons to the world's super powers."
Movies, music, and clothing are all adept at abnormalities. Music is flush with strange, annoying sounds that make others angry, but calm these two. Movies are all old, and almost not heard of, other than small, underground followings. Clothing is only worn to get the stares. The stares that aren't because they were particularly attractive, but because obnoxious colors and accessories are abundant.
". . . Your thinly veiled references do not amuse."
"Well, they don't amuse you at least."
If they looked similar it would be impossible to recall which one was which, meeting them for the first time. They finished each others sentences, and each others food. They acted exactly like twins. They could read each other's minds at times, simply because of the similarities in their ideals and thoughts. They had the same views on almost everything trivial, and everything that was important. Arguments about these things usually deteriorated into which one of them would win in a fight with Godzilla.
"Your references don't amuse anyone. No one gets them, other than me. People think that you're fucking insane."
"Good. So they think that you're insane as well then."
All disputes would be solved by a simple rock-paper-scissors-lizard-Spock game, which was another issue all together. Neither liked to argue for long, as it was pointless, unless it was playful banter. Fighting only leads to more fighting which leads to more fighting, they figured, so they didn't do it. If something bothered them about one another, the issue would be brought up formally and discussed as adults. The only mature tradition they had.
"Dude, no one thinks that I'm insane! They can totally tell that I'm not the weird one of us two."
"Pfft. As if. Nobody can even tell us apart."
Despite all of these disagreements, they remained as close as possible. There was almost nothing that could tear them apart. The only thing that would do such a thing would be an implosion in their friendship. Where it would just fall apart, piece by piece, until there was nothing left. They planned, though, on preventing that from happening.
"Oh whatever . . . Phew! We're almost there. Maybe we won't be too late. Augh, I love you."
"Ha! I told you it would all work out . . . And, yeah, I love you too, you hunk of juicy bovine."
And it was the greatest friendship to ever exist.
I didn't plan for the first thing I posted to be this, and yet...
Eh, it works for me actually.
-Taryn