The days had plodded along rather peacefully, save for Ray's occasional texting, which caused a bit of exasperation. Wednesday had rolled around, and it was time to meet him for that promised dinner.

It's just Ray, I said to myself, eyeing my reflection with some hesitation. No need to dress up. Since the weather was still rather chilly, I had pulled on a peach colored jumper with a dark blue short skirt- nothing fancy, just plain old me. I grabbed my things, and was about to head out the door when Sam walked in.

'Hey,' I said automatically, stepping back a bit. She never seemed to be in a hurry, always a perfect picture of composure.

'Got a date?' Sam asked, throwing her stuff onto her desk and plopping gracefully onto her bed, giving a contented sigh.

'Just Ray...' I replied, wondering if she would remember that he was my ex.

'Nice.' She smiled again. I still didn't know if she recalled who he was. I guess she didn't have a reason to pay much attention to my unexciting personal life. It was easy to consider her nonchalance off as an unconcerned friend, but that was just how Sam was. She never seemed nosy. I guess when it came down to it, I did believe she was a good friend, and would be there for me if I needed someone to confide in. Which in itself was a problem. I couldn't exactly say that my tiny infatuation with her had subsided.

I ran the brush through my hair a few times, and checked my reflection one last time before making a move to leave.

'You look great, don't worry about it.' Sam said, and then, with a twinge of cheekiness, 'Go get him!'

I smiled gratefully, though I realized she was completely unaware of my potentially awkward evening. I hadn't even decided what to say to him!

I chuckled a little. 'Bye, Sam.'

As I left our room, I heard Sam call out, 'By the way, I won't be back till late, like past one maybe! The room is yours!'

It appeared that Sam was trying to return the favor. I wondered if she knew that I had no intention of sleeping with Ray again. Or did I? Admittedly, I hadn't been close to anyone since Ray, and part of me did desire it.

Before heading down the stairs, I passed 409 (its door wide open) and saw a familiar figure leant back in her seat, staring at her laptop. Carrie looked up as I walked past and waved a little, and I did likewise. Inevitably a smile formed on my lips. I really liked Carrie and admired her as a person. She seemed to have no problems settling in so quickly to a new environment, unlike me. She looked right at home, whereas while my room had become familiar to me, Sam's presence made it somewhat of a strange space.

The bistro was less crowded than I would have liked it to be. Ray and I were settled at a table in the middle of the room. It was nearly 8 but business didn't seem too good.

Across from me, Ray looked just a tad nervous but overwhelmingly happy. I felt a twinge of guilt that I didn't share the same enthusiasm at our little 'reunion'.

'So… how do you like it here, Nattie?'

I stabbed the cold pasta on my plate with my fork, dreading such vague open-ended questions. They were meant to elicit answers that I didn't have.

'It's… alright so far.' That was pretty much all I could muster. 'Oh, the people are really nice'. I added, a little hastily.

There was awkward silence. I could tell Ray was racking his brains to think of how else to keep me talking. How did we even have a functional relationship when we could barely keep up a conversation now?

But we were avoiding the elephant in the room. On my part, I wanted to ask, why did you come all the way here for me? Don't you remember what I said? I don't think I love you anymore. No, I don't love you anymore. Is this some big romantic gesture? My harsh thoughts actually shocked myself. Where was this annoyance coming from?

Ray looked a little defeated, almost like a sad puppy. This must not have been going the way he had planned. His soft, kind features seemed downcast. His eyebrows knotted ever so slightly.

An uneasy feeling arose in the pit of my stomach and I decided to focus on finishing my food. We finished pretty much in silence, and I decided this was getting way too painful to sit through.

Ray called for the bill, and though I tried to pay for my share, he insisted on getting it and that was that. I knew he was always stubborn when it came to things like that. It was with some relief that I saw him begin to stand up.

'So, uh, shall we go for a walk somewhere?' Damn it. He beat me to it.

I looked back at his expectant expression, a little hesitant. He was biting his lip. 'You know, I'd love to but I'm not feeling too good.'

Ray's lips slowly formed a little 'O', and disappointment was evident. Almost immediately though, he said concernedly, 'was it the food? Do you need to get some medicine?'

'No… just a headache.' I managed weakly. Not so much because of my so-called illness. It was a lie… well, mostly. This awkward situation was pretty mentally taxing.

'I'll walk you home, then?' Ray was persistent. I had no choice but to nod.

On the five or so blocks back to my apartment, he did not try to hold my hand. Somehow that surprised me, not that I minded the lack of physical contact at all.

We reached the door to my room, and I racked my brains trying to think of an excuse to not let him in. Maybe if I didn't say anything he'd get the hint. After all, I had told him I wasn't feeling well. I turned to face him and noted the nervous expression in his eyes.

'So, uh…' Ray started, but couldn't seem to complete his sentence. I hope he wasn't hoping for an invitation. After all, it was a shared dorm room. And while Sam didn't really seem to let that stop her, I wasn't comfortable with inviting anyone in, let alone Ray- not when things were still so painfully awkward.

I suddenly pitied the both of us. How had we reached this sorry state, when we had once thought of each other as compatible other-halves?

'You should get a good rest.' He finally finished, biting his lip again. It was a nervous habit of his I still remembered.

'And call me if you need anything, okay?' He added, concern evident in his voice.

I felt guilty lying about how I felt, although I did feel uncomfortable enough to want to end the date and just curl up in bed. My head was a mix of emotions that I didn't feel like dealing with at the moment. Not to mention the current situation with Ray.

I nodded mutely. Undeniably, his concern was genuine and I couldn't help but feel touched by it. Nevertheless, this was my chance to exit. With some degree of relief, I turned the knob and was about to turn it when I felt his hand on my other wrist.

I turned around and before I knew it, his warm lips were on mine. It was startling, yet pleasant at the same time. I had to admit, I did miss this with him. For a split second, I felt transported back to the past where things were comfortable, secure. Ray put his hands on my shoulders gently but firmly, and I could feel his strong grasp pressing into me softly.

The kiss seemed fleeting, but in reality probably lasted for more than just a few seconds. When he pulled away, Ray had a strange expression on his face. He looked slightly flushed. There was still that residual nervousness in his eyes, but with it something that looked like happiness and relief. Perhaps he had been preparing himself for that moment, and was proud that he had done it.

Meanwhile I was pretty sure my face was flushed too. I did feel some exhilaration, but I couldn't tell if it was because I still had feelings for him (which seemed unlikely, considering that was the reason I left him in the first place, but that was the logical side of me speaking…) or maybe it was just a familiar closeness that felt good after a long while. I was about to saying something, although I didn't know what when-

"Hey, oh sorry I hope I'm not interrupting or anything…'

Our gaze broke apart automatically. Carrie! Saved by Carrie!

She had approached the door as well, and looked surprised to see the door closed. She looked like she had just showered- her short hair was still wet.

'I'm here to return Sam something,' she explained, and I noticed the paper bag she clutched in one hand. Carrie was chipper as always, seemingly oblivious to the situation. I hoped she hadn't seen the kiss.

'Oh she told me she wouldn't be back till late, like past one,' I told her immediately, rather surprised at myself for remembering Sam's words so accurately.

'Uh, I'll just make a move first, ok?' said Ray, interjecting. 'Good night, Nattie…'

'Oh, okay.' I suddenly felt a little panic, as if I was multi-tasking. Why was it so hard for me to be normal around people?

'Good night.'

Just as he was about to leave, I remembered, 'Oh Ray, this is Carrie, she lives down the hall. And um, Carrie, this is Ray…'

I wasn't sure if he'd be offended if I said 'my friend from back home', but calling him 'my ex' blatantly seemed inappropriate, especially at this premature stage of our "reunion".

They exchanged helloes awkwardly and then Ray left. I was pretty sure he felt as uncomfortable as I did. After all, we didn't say anything about that kiss we shared.

'Gosh I'm sorry, I hope I didn't make him leave or anything…' Carrie remarked. 'It seemed pretty awkward.'

Now that it was just the two of us, I visibly relaxed. Carrie had such a calming presence.

'No, I think he was leaving already,' I assured her. 'And he's my ex, which is why it was awkward.' I wondered again if she had seen us kiss, but judging by her innocent expression, probably not.

'Hmm, I thought Sam would be in. Do you mind leaving this on Sam's desk?' Carrie asked. 'It's a new CD she had me check out, it's pretty good actually, you should have a listen.'

'Yeah, sure, of course.' I was always happy to help.

She smiled warmly, as was typical of her.

'Thanks. You have a good night.' She rubbed my arm affectionately before heading back to her own room.

I entered my room feeling strangely exhausted, looking forward to a quick hot shower and my warm bed.

When I opened my eyes, I was naked, my skin felt bare and exposed, and someone was kissing me quite forcefully and urgently. There was a mass of dark hair near my face- it was Sam! I realized with a shock as the person pulled back. She smiled coolly- almost a smirk- and then lowered herself and kissed me as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

I felt a tremor of excitement in my stomach as she then ran her hands down both sides of my body. I let out a soft murmur of pleasure but jolted a little in surprise as I realized her hands felt familiar, like a guy's…

I looked down at them and realized they were quite large, and coarser then I expected. Then I realized with a shock- they belonged to Ray! I looked back up at her and instead saw his earnest face staring into mine.

It was then my eyes shot open, my heart racing a mile a minute. I lay there, breathing hard in the dark. By habit I looked over to the bed across, and saw Sam's perfectly still sleeping form peeking out a bit from under her covers. She slept completely soundlessly, as if she wasn't even there. This made me rather self-conscious about my own sleeping habits, and I hoped I never bothered or woken her.

I tried to calm myself at my baffling dream and wondered if I had made any noises in my sleep just now. Even though the room was nearly pitch dark, judging by how hot I felt, I was pretty sure my cheeks were burning a bright red. I was officially going insane.

A/N: This truly took forever, and I am so sorry if anyone was waiting for this. Thank you for the reviews, it means so much :)