And The Chase Continues...
Why is the world making this so difficult for me?
All I want to do is find him and tell him how I feel…for the fifth time. The last four times I told him (directly, might I add) it went by like a breeze. It was easy to find him and sure, it took a couple of seconds to tell him about my infatuation with him but after that everything went just fine. Except for the fact that even now he doesn't realize that when I say 'like' I mean that I want him to be my boyfriend and all mine, mine, mine.
It took me days of mustering up courage, constant pressuring from my friends, and nagging from my mom's passionate voice about how I have to grab love, not wait for it to come to me to finally decide to give it one more try--to tell him that I was in like with him. All the hundreds of 'GO GET HIM' signs that my best friend posted all over the school (to encourage me, I think) seemed to be flushing down the drain because I was currently standing infront of the school, almost out of breathe and on the verge of having a heart attack. I just couldn't find him. I called his cell--no answer, I ran around the school, three times, and there was still no sign of him.
Really. This was suppose to be easy. All I had to do was walk right up to him, tell him I really, really liked him, and then see his reaction and by that, I would decide whether I was rejected or accepted.
A familiar-face popped up in front of mine. "You okay?"
I almost went into shock.
"You! You're here," I said, my hands gripping onto the infatuation of my life's firm shoulders.
"Yeah. I just finished swim practice and was heading home." The pool. Out of all the places I didn't check, he had to be there.
Suddenly, an image of him half naked with water glistering on his body appeared in my mind and made my brain melt.
"Look, I have something to tell you," I dropped my hands from his shoulders, shaking my thoughts away.
He looked curious. "Yeah?"
I took a deep breath, feeling nervous. "I…I like you," I said after a couple of seconds. Even though it was the fifth time that I had utter those words from my lips, I was unable to stop myself from blushing. It took everything I had to keep my eyes gazing into his beautiful ones and not submit to avoiding eye contact like I did the past four times.
He just stood there. Looking at me with his innocent and confused eyes. His unperturbed face. It gave me the urge to just throw myself at him and hold onto him for hours long. Possibly never letting go. But at the same time, I wanted to strangle him and see that adorable face of his explode before my eyes. He was going to twist my words around to mean something else. Again.
This is beyond ridiculous. This is taking oblivious to a whole new level.
Just look at him.
"I like you too," he said, flashing me a sweet smile.
I should have learned by now to allow him to finish talking before physically showing my reaction and feelings on my face. But I just couldn't help but let my lips curve into a smile. My hopes were starting to sky rocket. And just like the last five times I confessed to him that I had a crush on him, a second later, he ended up crushing and stomping on all my hopes and dreams. This is what always happens.
"You're such a great friend," he continued, sounding happy as a clam. "No wonder why you get along with everyone."
Why can't I just give up on this guy?
I ran around school like a lunatic for this? I let out an aggravated sigh. "Strike five. I'm going home."
He automatically reached out and pulled me back gently with his soft hands. "Wait, you're mad. Did I do something wrong?"
Oh, great. Wonderful. Perfect. Just fan-tastic. Notice how I'm angry at you when I don't say anything at all but be completely oblivious when I tell you straight forwardly my feelings.
I took a deep breathe and starred longingly into his blue eyes. Attempt #6. "How many times do I have to tell you that I like you before you get it in your head?"
"You like me?" That stupid innocent look on his face again.
"In what way?"
Does he not understand how embarrassing it is to repeatedly admit to him that I like him?
"Argh!" I screamed before pulling my hand away from him and storming off.
I thought he had given up on coming after me, but a minute later, I saw those long legs of his strolling right besides me, his hands behind his back; following my angry and frustrated pace. With an apologetic smile on his face, he slowly brought his hand from behind his back and handed me a bouquet of white daisies that he picked up from fresh from the ground.
I couldn't help but let the small smile slip onto my lips as I reached out for the bouquet, my foolish heart already forgiving him for his obviousness.
And maybe, just maybe, this is why I continuously chase after him.