Why can't I breathe you into my life? What would take to make you see that I'm alive?
We were in the middle of rehearsals for a play called El Filibusterismo. I was glad that the group asked me to be the director, but that would mean more work on my part. I was also responsible for the script. The play was going to be perfect—except for one problem. By popular demand, I had to recruit my pokerfaced best friend, Antonio. The group wanted him to be partners with my classmate, the pretty girl, Cammy. They were an item. Everyone loved to push them together, and get giddy as if they were John Lloyd and Bea Alonzo. They were clearly amused, but I wasn't. For some reason, it sickened me.
Saw your face in the crowd, I call out your name, but you don't hear a sound... Wish I could read what goes through your mind.
We were stuck because I tried to avoid the kissing scene—which wasn't in the book—that involved Antonio and Cammy's characters. Problem was, we rehearsed all the scenes except for that. I had no choice. I watched Antonio and Cammy stand awkwardly beside each other. Cammy seemed to be blushing, while Antonio seemed tensed. I gave more attention to Antonio. When our eyes met, I gave him a reassuring smile. "You can do it, Tony." I called out. Antonio seemed to have gained more courage after that. I watched him take Cammy's hand with hesitation. Cammy turned to look at him. At that moment, everyone cheered… except for me.
If I was invisible, then I could just watch you in your room. If I was invincible, I'd make you mine tonight.
When the pair looked at me as if asking for guidance, I nodded. "You know your lines." I said, it was almost a whisper. Antonio's deep voice made everyone grow silent. He was telling Cammy words of love and caring, but his face was devoid of emotion, as usual. Even if you're wearing your poker face, Tony, I know you mean it. I know you like her. I just had to write the script for you. I felt tears forming in my eyes, but I blinked them back subtly. I watched Cammy's hand touch Antonio's cheek. The end is near, I thought. They exchanged I love you's as they drew closer together for a hug. I think I heard one of my classmates squeal in glee somewhere at the back. I averted my gaze from the stage Antonio and Cammy stood on. I fumbled for my phone in my pocket.
If hearts were unbreakable, then I could just tell you where I stand. I would be the smartest girl. If I was invisible…
When Antonio and Cammy's faces were only a few inches apart, my phone rang. They abruptly pulled away from each other. I could feel everyone giving me a death glare even if they were behind me. Their angry gazes seemed to be piercing my back. Whilst concealing my watery eyes with a serious expression, I eyed the pair. "Didn't I tell you guys time and time again not to get distracted by the audience?" Everyone, including myself, was startled at the harshness of my voice. I lowered my voice into a whisper, "There will be laughs, chattering, and ringing phones from the audience during the play. You have to learn to block the distractions out…" I turned away from everyone. "I have to answer this call." By doing so, I failed to see Antonio's concerned face.
I walked away.
…wait, I already am. Invisible.
While I was walking towards the huge stairway that led to our school's exit, I stopped. I heard everyone cheer so loudly, even if I was rather far away from them. They kissed. You did it, Tony. I tried to smile as I took my cellphone from my pocket, and placed it near my ear. There was no call, of course. I faked the whole thing just so I didn't have to see Antonio—my best friend, the one I love—kiss someone else. I cried… letting out all of the pretensions and pain in my chest. Hot tears that have been waiting to fall the moment Antonio told me that he thought Cammy was interesting, fell down my cheeks, and I tried to tell myself that everything would be alright.
I reach out, but you don't even see me. I am nothing without you, just a shadow passing through.
"Jen. Are you okay?"
I turned to the familiar voice—forgetting about my tear-stricken face for a moment.
It was Antonio.
A.N. In case you're wondering what song inspired me to write this short story, it's Invisible by Clay Aiken. This story was based on a real occurence, but I exaggerated it a bit.... Ok, I exaggerated A LOT.
*John Lloyd and Bea Alonzo - a famous love team in the Philippines; known for their many movies together
*El Filibusterismo - a book by Jose Rizal; icon in the Philippines
What do you guys think? :)