Somewhere in the Heavens...
"Oh look, it's him," sneered a petite female Cupid as she brushed past Ashwyn, nudging her companion in his ribs to get his attention.
"Now now baby, its not good to laugh at people," her companion smirked, running his right hand through his jet black hair as his left reached down to squeeze her ass.
"Ooh baby," she squealed and the pair walked off, leaving Ashwyn to puke his guts out at the nauseating public display of affection and disgust for him.
"Holy phark," he swore as he started to rip the papers he held in his hands into billions of tiny pieces, only for them to reappear in his hands again. "Phark you, you pharking jerk up there, dammit!" he screamed and there was a loud crack as a bolt of lightning narrowly missed his chocolate brown hair, neatly arranged to look like that of a mortal superstar's - Justin Bieber. Ashwyn exemplified immortals not acting their age.
He grumbled as he continued walking amongst the clouds, dragging his feet. "Phark you, phark every single one of you, may you burn, rot and pharking die in Hades," he gritted his teeth as he walked past numerous other Cupids, who were all laughing at him. "I don't pharking deserve this shit," he looked at the mist covering his feet from the clouds and walked head first into a fellow Cupid, Eurydice.
"Ashwyn!" she exclaimed, clear blue eyes clouded with worry. "I thought you were going to lose your wings!" she embraced him and his eyebrow twitched.
"Nice one, Eu, not going to die so soon." He rolled his hazel eyes. "I'm heading out," he said simply and gave her a cheeky grin, causing her to blush deeply.
"Be careful," she leaned forward to kiss his cheek and he turned around so she ended up kissing his lips instead. Her eyes widened in shock as he ran his hands through her long blonde hair while the other found its way around her waist.
"I will," he smirked as he broke the kiss, leaving her breathless. "Don't miss me too much, babe," he murmured, lips resting against hers.
Eurydice pouted and he ruffled her hair gently as he turned to leave.
"Well, you better hope I OD on crack and not on the crack of some other girl's ass down in good ol' Earth!" Ashwyn called out, chuckling, leaving Eurydice with a look of horror on her face.
He strolled towards the elevator down to Earth, ignoring Eurydice's cries of "You better stay faithful to me, you idiot!" as he stepped into the glass contraption, popping a golden drachma into a gaping hole at the bottom. "To Earth!" he roared as the elevator came to life, whizzing down Mount Olympus. Ashwyn stared at the papers in his hand and sighed. He knew that he had been an impossible Cupid all his life, shooting arrows at all the wrong people, causing a hurricane with the 'love juice' that Cupids used to remedy their mistakes, disobeying the Ten Cupid Commandments, but never did he expect the day where a threat to remove his wings would come. His eyebrow twitched as he smoothed his white t-shirt that read 'Falling in Love (Is Hard on the Knees)' and sighed again as he stared at the paper in his hands.
"Its pharking impossible," he shook his head and grimaced at the thought of losing his wings. "Shakespeare said reason and love kept little company together back in the 1500s. I say reason doesn't pharking exist when it comes to us cupids. Screw the Council, no arrows are to be used and it has to be done the good ol' way. Its the pharking 21st century dammit, there's no way in hell a Cupid can do that now!"
Ashwyn took a deep breath and then sighed, defeated. "Ten weeks to make everything right. Find some girl with a whole host of emotional problems her one true love. The universe is so damn big, the very least the pharked up Council could've done was to tell me what was her type. This is just handing me my death sentence on a pharking silver platter," he laughed darkly.
a/n: hope y'all like that, do review, thanks! and for those who have been reading my other stories, i'm sorry for the lack of updates, some rather awful things have been happening and i've got a rather nasty writer's block, so i hope this will suffice for now... (please don't kill me lol)