I met her almost three years ago when we were freshmen. I will always remember the first words I said to her: "You have some broccoli in your teeth." Looking back, it was probably not the nicest or most chivalrous sentence for our first, but I can't change the past.
That broccoli in her teeth was probably the only imperfection she had. She was absolutely beautiful. Her faint, chocolate curls framed her angelic and pixie-like face perfectly. Her skin was never disgraced by a pimple. Her eyes seemed to lighten up the room―the atmosphere. There is no gem in comparison to her eyes. Nothing as blue, nothing as luminous, nothing as perfect as her eyes. And when she cried, the earth stopped moving. The gates of heaven closed permanently and the sun ceased to exist. Her tears were like an omen from God that the most precious object of His creation was sad.
It killed me to see her sad. But it brought me back to life when she laughed.
Her laugh. It was the very force of life at her disposal. In the midst of winter, when all was bleak and dead, her laugh brought everything back. It spread a warmth through the soul of every person. I can't even describe the feeling of being next to her when she laughed. It was a euphoria every human being needs to experience before they die.
If only I knew I would be one of the last people to feel that euphoria.
I asked her out almost a year ago to the date. I was sweating so nervously, my shirt was like a second skin. I stumbled over my words until I finally got out the right ones. Her gorgeous blue eyes stared deep into mine and for a moment, time froze. Her luscious lips formed a straight line. I put my tail between my legs and tried to walk off. How could a guy like me even think of asking out the perfect girl? Right when I was facing the other way, one word she uttered like a chorus of angels snapped me back around.
"Yes." I saw the hard line of her mouth crack into the most beautiful smile in the world. I almost fainted right then. I thought nothing could ever get better than this. Then it did.
She laughed. It was more of a giggle, but it did me over. That was my first experience with the divine sound. I was quite literally the luckiest guy in the world. I was able to hear that laughter almost whenever I wanted. It seemed like life could never go wrong.
And then there was that fateful night, a week ago yesterday. She was over at my house and we were watching a movie. Well, she was watching the movie; I was watching her watch the movie. Looking back, I wish I could freeze time and cherish that moment forever. But all good things must come to an end.
I don't remember what started it, but one thing led to another. Soon, we were on our feet, yelling at the tops of our lungs. Our first, and last, fight. She stormed to the front door with me trailing behind. Outside, the rain was pouring down without mercy. I could only see a single tear in her eyes, and I knew that was what caused the rain.
And I caused the tear.
I knew then I made the biggest mistake of my life. I wanted to apologize, I wanted to bring her back in and make everything better. No matter how hard I wanted it, it never happened. Then I said my last word to her: "Goodbye!" She left with the sadness of God trailing her, and never came back.
That night I didn't sleep at all. The rain pelted my window―a constant reminder that I had just let the perfect person go. The next morning was when I got the call. The rain was worse than anyone thought. Her car veered off the road and crashed into a power poll.
She was pronounced dead at the scene.
I dropped the phone. I was incredulous. My heart stopped beating. My mouth hit my chest. My knees wobbled and I collapsed onto the ground. I don't know how long I cried, but it felt like hours. My eyes were red and my lungs burned. I continued to sob uncontrollably. All I could think was I caused the single tear that caused the death of perfection.
When I was finally able to move, a second thought occurred to me. The last word I said to her was "Goodbye." "Goodbye" is permanent. "Goodbye" does not imply a return. By saying that one word, I banished her from my life, without a return. By then my tears had dried up and I went into a catatonic state of pure depression. How I went from telling her she needed to floss, to being madly and deeply in love with her, to saying, "Goodbye," is the eighth wonder of the world.
She was gone forever, and it was all my fault. Now, "Goodbye" is the ultimate swear word. Uttering it is direct blasphemy. The one upside of this entire ordeal, overshadowing any and every other dismal and depressing detail, was a lesson I was taught: Never say, "Goodbye."
Even though she is gone, her legacy lives on, and she has forever changed me into the best person I could be. I will always honor her as a martyr and I will never forget her.
I'll see you later.