What God

Is it possible that God exist? perhaps... but I am very skeptical about such a concept. It however, does not indicate that I am unwilling to jump aboard if there is sufficient amount of reasoning or proof. However, I have never sceen any source of proof or explanation.

My family is Christian, so I grew up knowing God, you could say, that is if one exist. I was taught and told to pray and hope. so, that I did. I never once got an answer, hope, or an indication of anything of the sort. I read the bible and went obediently to church like a good Christian.

I did what I was suppose to. I prayed to god, read the Bible, Sung the hymns, went to church every sunday, had my act together, and even helped out at the church where I attended. I wanted to do whatever I could to gain his favor. Just being Christian and trying to pray and having a connection with him didn't seem to work.

I heard about how God spoke to people and how he influenced them. Thus, over the years I attempted to watch for signs of that nature. I saw none.

I even attempted to live life as an extremist. I tried to live for God and only him. I didn't accomplish anything good. It felt like I wasted my time. I got laughed at and no answer to my prayers.

I was waiting for God to come and show himself. To show up and help me with what I prayed for. He never showed up.

All along and especially towards the end I asked questions about Christianity and why we had to do what we had to do. I was never really given a true answer to my questions. Most time if they were answered the answer was faith. I tried seriously to have faith and that just didn't work. It was also a problem because I wanted to know why I did what I did for my religion was sound and good to do. I wanted to know the why's and follow him inteligently and know what I am doing so I can do it eficiently. I was never given the answer. I was not given it even by the Pastor's wife. It was disappointing. The closest I ever got to an answer was from this College professor who taught at a christian college. He taught about family life, relationships, an some applied psychology and philosophy.

So, because of these reasons and events, I was seriously tired of waiting and waiting even more. so, I decided that maybe it was too long to wait. so, I just got out of Christianity and focused on a path which seemed more honest and solid. One that I could see the reasoning and path to.