Author's notes: Well, I hope this wasn't too confusing for you to read, when you get me going, ahem, you get (points to the mess below) this.
I am Rachel, the girl who's too wrapped up in her own interest and thoughts. The girl that thinks and ponders more than actually doing. I've been called both daft and smart, heroic and not worth the time, helpful and selfish. I tend to be an interesting person I suppose. I live out in the suburbs in a big city in Los Angeles county but have no real interest for the place. I am Asian, more specificallyChinese. I moved to America when I was four, so I am a first generation here, and English is my second language but I do feel more comfortable using English. Rachel isn't my real name. It's an English nickname, Really. My real name's Kawing, pronounced ga-wing. I currently live at home with both of my parents and a younger sister who will be 13 in September. I have an extensive family as my father is one out of nine children, but two died. My mom is one out of at least five, but my mom's dad had two wives at the same time. Yes, You read right. but, they were both kept secret from the other. I believe the other side also has four or five children so, it's a huge family. Also, since I am chinese I probably have more uncles then anyone could have, seriusly. As if you are family friends, you are pretty much aunty or uncle. but I really don't care any more so, I consider them friends, but it's still a bit hard to separate. and, did I mention I have five Godmothers, but no godfathers? Well, I didn't choose to have five godmothers so don't stare at me!!!!! I am still trying to figure out which one is the real one. And, Oh, apparently now my mom's godfather and godmother, or adopted parents are now my godgrandmother and godgrandfather. Yeah, don't ask, because I don't know! It becomes a rather weird family. It's as if 16 relatives aren't enough. On a regular bases I talk to none of them, so... I don't really care about my extensive family and they don't take much interest in me either.
My immediate family is small, though, which is a relief indeed! though, they can be a little annoying as we don't get along great. Our ideology is quite diffrent, or shall I say my own and my families' ideology? they are on the left of politics and I am on the right. Very drastically different. However, dad and so many others thhink I'll make a great lawyer, but I am not at all in to Law. I like the fundamentals and I like to follow them, but I won't want to work with it. I want to work with philosophy and I hope to teach at a private school, hopefully at the university level. I don't necessarily know if I could handle working with Teens or young children. I actually find most annoying and pesky, but there are exceptions.
I stay in my own head most of the time. I tend to speak my mind too often and share my opinions when it's not necessarily wanted, but I don't see a problem with that, I have never found it such a problem. However, most times when I talk I speak about the philosophical or things that matter to the world. mostly things revolving around ethics and politics. I pull things off the shelves a lot of the time and mention past historical events and draw parallels from history. I study history often, that I do...
My philosophy is secular philosophy. I take no interest in religion. I am an atheist and a former Christian. I couldn't find anything in christianity. When I tried to look for answers and asked, I was told faith. I tried to become an extremest Christian. that didn't do any good. lots of people laughed at me but nothing else.
I tend to read a whole lot and critique stories even more. some of my favorites include all of the Sherlock Holmes stories, Atlas Shrugged, All of William Manchesters books, Fairtax, How To Win Friends And Influence People, 1984, and A Brave New World. I have also read some older classics. I understand them, but don't necessarily like them. I can understand some of shakespeare, enough to know more than the gist of his stories.
I like pointing out things that's wrong about people and stories, hoping to make this world a better place. I believe education is the key to all things. No, perhaps not in schools but education is nevertheless more important than anything else. I hope to be a revolutionary just like Jefferson or reagan. I want to be a hero, and I want to change this world far and wide by educating the masses.
I care a lot for the people and there individual rights. I am a fighter for individual rights. I think everyone has the choice to choose in which direction to live and which direction is evil. I think the ultimate decision is up to the people.
I am on the right wing of politics, which aides me in supporting such a cause. I believe that the government should not be controling the people and there life. I think it's unfortunate that most folks today are so socialist and are ready to give up their lives for this corruption. I desire to take America back for the people not for the government! I think people should be free to conduct life and not be watched by the government unless they are breaking laws which most Americans have not.
besides life I enjoy to study politics. I think life is what you make of it, the meaning is up to the person. I think the thing to do is to understand life and why it exists. If one doesn't understand life, it's hard to live it!
Otherwise, besides being a bit intellectual, I live amongst the world as an individualist, who often confuses people with her personality. As it has always been so different. It has always been individualistic. I aimed for that as so many my age has and fail at, but I succeeded at as no one who has talked to me and more so in real life would call me average.
I don't set out to please people. I set out to please myself and to feed my ego. Sorry, I don't feed anyone else's egos. So, I don't get angry if people don't like me, but I do get angry and upset when people aren't completely honest with me about liking me a lot. there's been way too many times that I had friends that claim to be my friend who has completely turned on me. so... I've had enough of that drama. I don't tell too much to my friends, I tend to keep my secrets secret. Yes, I am much more of a private person than nnot. I bottle them up, mostly. I avoid drama this way.
I've been through being popular and it's drama. I was once recognized and popular because of my boldness at this blind organization . I was set as an example by the staff of the organization for my willingness to be bold and to try new things.
I don't tend to like drama in general either. The only place I like it is in my literature, movies, and plays.
My entertainment is mostly books and on the computer. I don't watch much television as I dislike what the meadia must share with us today. As I have discussed above, I dislike todays' ethics, almost to a point of wanting reform. I can't possibly state every view I have here as I have so many. Please read my stories or discuss things with me to find out what they are. However, bak to the subject of media. I do enjoy some movies and TV shows however. You could say I kind of live in the past a little. I enjoy entertainment before the 80's, so 70's and before. In terms of television I enjoy the Sherlock Holmes episodes, and films by Orson Wells. My favorite movies are the classic High Noon and The fountainhead.
In terms of music I enjoy the slower calmer things but yet, not too slow. I enjoy Doris Dayh, Joni Mitchell, The Archies, some certain Beatles songs, and a lot of oldies. I am definitely not a rock and roll person I am a bit too calm and pensive for that stuff.
However, most times, I don't listen to music or watch T.V. I am too busy doing and thinking. Music is a side thing for me that matter but doesn't. I'll put on some music when I remember or want which is not too often and most of all not all the time. I rather have my thoughts and be surrounded by them which is what happens most of the time. I don't need music everywhere I go but I always need my brain. I think a lot, sometimes too often even in classes. I tend to drift off and think about life and then I most likely will be asking you what you said. but, sometimes it takes me a while to refocus as my brain is going so fast and so furiously.
I also need and I always bring my laptop around even to parties and dinners. People think I am weird for that. I tend to break in to my writing quite often as I have so many trillions of ideas.
I've been writing ever since I've known how to pick up a paper and pen. I've never really set the pen down ever. However, I've been telling stories ever since I could speak.
My father use to read novels to me even as a baby. I mean, actual novels anything that could be read to me. I know dad read Jane Austins' Pride And Prejudice, Mark Twain's Tom Sawyer, and Charles Dickens Oliver Twist to me at a young age. I remember when I read the English versions of the books, I was pretty sure I remembered some of the plots and characters. I think my dad read me the abridged versions, so, some of the plots were new. However, I never really read kids stories until my sister read the Magic Tree House at about six or seven. So, I first took a look at those at about twelve, and they didn't really interest me. At school I read a few books for children, but otherwise I've grown up with classics.
If I wanted a bedtime story it was always a novel. So, at a young age, I started to tell intelligent stories. At fifth grade one of my page long stories described the effects of selfishness. in seventh my story was on how to raise a child. I might have had one in first or second grade on why it was good to be kind to people too. so, I've always been thinking.
even now, everytime I write a piece I am rather proud of it, even If I don't mind critiques. I have always possessed this mindset . I have been always confident about my work and my writings, even when they were bad, and I didn't mind if people said I needed to improve. I didn't always correct them, but my writing did get better.
Also, I am a quieter person who prefers a nice chat at some Café than a big party. I don't like loud noises and crowded areas. I don't like big crowds either. I enjoy a more friendly atmosphere and a place where you may connect with others. I enjoy a one on one chat and a slow night to just be with one another as friends and/or companions.
I also, don't like people who are too rough. they just annoy me . They actually make me really nervous and angry at the same time. I prefer people who are kind, sincere and real with one another. Also, people who use a lot of profanity annoys me quite a bit. I tend to get irritated as I think it does show how uneducated they appear. I tend to be very defensive in both situations and will fight for my happiness in both.
For maybe a week when I was fourteen I thought it was really funny to curse a lot, but then I discovered it wasn't and it made one sounded less intelligent. I just didn't feel comfortable using them. I don't use pprofanity in real life, or extremely rarely. I don't usually use it in writing, and If I do they are added in. I have to rreally look over the piece and add them in, so they don't come as natural either. I find it much more convenient to use the substitutes.
However, I don't tend to have much of an attitude, I try to be as greatful as possible. I enjoy people and wish to connect with them and not push them away, so I attempt to be friendly. I have always been a upbeat and positive person. People may say I am happy about too many things but I don't like to be sad or agressive unless I have to.
I don't think there's a point of being upset and unhappy. I don't think there's a point of being rough either. I think you could benefit from being more friendly and courteous. So, I am happy more often and I smile a lot. I tend to laugh a lot to and I tend to say things that may come off as a bit too optimistic. I've told people a few times and I do stick to it, that I don't want people to be upset after my death. I want people to just smile and remember me in a good way. After all, what's the use of crying over a dead person. wouldn't it be more productive if you went about smileing and remembering what great things I've done and how I've influenced people?
However, I can be critical. As being happy does not mean one can't criticize and help people improve. I tend to look to the idealistic, and my best advisors, which are the scholars. I take a lot from the scholars and are influenced by them quite a bit. I think they are the people we need to learn from. They have experienced so much and have so many wise things to say. anyway, I take advice from them and the elements of idealism and help people improve.
I suppose I am this way as my elementary school days were rough. I remember I never liked my peers very much. Most wouldn't want to be around me, and some even laughed at me, all because I have a slight disability. Also, I wasn't told very much, I was a pretty curious child, but was never informed of too much. I tried to learn from books but was only disappointed. Adults seemd to not like me, I tried to make friends with them. they seem to either not care or not tell me anything useful. Ah well, I guess I was too immature at the time anyway, and I regret it, I regret every moment of my preteen days and before.
As you can read in my story Catching Knowledge, I was influenced and got in to philosophy by way of a gentleman named Charles. Now this dear gentleman I met on a boat, and a kinder person, I have not yet found. He's quite the Dale Carnegie follower. I think he's one of the few I could honestly say I have had a good conversation and a jolly time with.
However, I also tend to be a little bold, I'd stand up for any new challenge and try a lot of different things. I am open to a lot of opportunities if they won't hurt me in anyway. I always have been this way since I was very young. I have never stopped being open and curious to things that might benefit me, however, the difference is today I research a lot more. I will not try anything until I know what's in the deal and why.
I think this boldness also applies to my need to be a leader. I enjoy to lead and run things. I enjoy to organize people and help run things. I enjoy the position of leader.
However, my organization is not any good. I am probably one of the most disorganized people you can find. I don't organize very well, everything is think and go do for me.
also besides enjoying trying new things, I tend to enjoy new ideas as well. I think the best thing one could have is great ideas that are well formulated and reasoned out. I couldn't live life without them.
So, that's me and who I am. I hope you know now, and are happy with this piece of shall we say a bit of rambling?