The ship spluttered and died just as it landed in the docking bay at the space center. As the loading ramp clanked open, two girls in the black grease monkey suits approached to discuss the obviously needed repairs with the captain when they exited the vessel. The seemed to wait an eternity before anyone came out of the ship. Both stood at attention, surprised to see a small elephant-like alien run out gasping for air instead of the expected elegant captain.
"Captain! He did that on purpose!" he shouted, and within the ship, low chuckling could be heard.
"Fuzzball, apologize to Hooter." A high voice said. "Come on Idy, Ody, let's get off this thing." A small, furry, orange ball flew out of the hatch, followed by a two-headed Geex, and a laughing, dark skinned man.
"Are you the captain?" the slightly taller of the two girls inquired.
"Captain EO, at your service." The man gave a sweeping bow. "And you lovely ladies are?"
"I'm Keleya, and this is my sister Kalypso. We're on grease monkey duty until they find a captain willing to take us on." She twittered. "Neil speaks highly of you."
"Thanks." He gave a wide smile. "Anyway, I need to deal with the commander, but Idy and Ody here can explain why our ship here's on life support." He banged his palm against the side of the ship, wincing apologetically at the clanging it caused inside.
"Captain." Idy groaned.
"Sorry. I leave her in your capable hands. Hooter, Fuzzball, come with me." He called to the elephant and furball who'd been arguing that entire time. The crew members snapped to attention at their names and trailed after their leather clad captain. No one in the bay spoke until the echoing clack of EO's boots faded into nothing.
"So, what's wrong with this beast?" Kalypso asked.
"I'd be easier to name what's wrong with her." Idy explained. "Thanks to someone's driving," She shot a pointed look at her other head. "We went through an asteroid belt, so everything's basically shot."
"You're the one who had to take a nap." Ody argued.
"Maybe if you used the machine we bought you to stop the snoring, I could sleep at night." The two-headed alien continued to bicker back and forth while the gray-purple skinned girls watched with faint amusement.
After a few minutes, Keleya interrupted. "I'm sure you're tired after that long trip. Why don't you go lie down in one of the guest rooms and we'll work on your ship." The alien stared at the girl for a moment before walking off.
"Keys are in the ignition," Ody said right before they exited the bay. Kalypso boarded the ship and took a seat at the controls as her sister pumped the battery with enough juice to start the ship up long enough to move it. Kalypso applied pressure to the gas when it roared to life, making it hover a couple inches off the floor. The ebony haired girl fell from her seat when the front end crashed into something, shaking the entire structure.
"Are you blind?" Keleya yelled. "You just hit a pole!"
"What was it holding up?"
"Nothing. You hit the stripper pole. Now it's connected to the front of this ship. Oh, Marcus is going to go all mashugina on us." Kalypso shrugged and edged the ship forward to the repair shop.
"Mr. Neil, we got a doozy for you." Keleya call in the head mechanics' office. "It's captain EO's ship."
"Dear God." The portly man waddled out into the shop. "EO's ship. God help me, what did that man do now?" he slowly made his way over to the battered hunk of metal. "This'd be a hell of a lot easier if that idiot let'd us upgrade him to something from this millennia."
"Come on Neil, you know I couldn't send Rhonda to the junkyard. We've been through too much together for me to treat her like that." All heads turned toward the doorway to find EO leaning against the wall. "Can you fix her Neil?"
"It'll take a lotta work E." he looked at the coming job in exasperation. "You realize of course that I'd slap the black off your stupid skinny ass if we hadn't been in the same recruit group."
"Wouldn't expect anything less of you Neil." The dark man snickered. "I just came for our bags and robots. Give me a minute and I'll be out of your way."
"You? In the way? No!" the mechanic gasped dramatically.
"Surprising, I know." The black man disappeared into his ship, reappearing moments later laden with four bags and flanked by two robots.
"Do you need help carrying those?" Kalypso asked.
"Sure, take Hooter's and Fuzzball's bags." He untangled and handed her a small pink, rubber duckie covered diaper bag and an army green duffel. She took one in each hand, and followed the man out to the hallway, slightly annoyed by his silence. Bored with no one to talk to, Kalypso started thinking aloud.
"I need to grab Keleya something to eat, she hasn't eaten anything today. Hey, don't judge me!" she snapped, seeing the captain's shoulders shake with his silent laughter.
"I can't help it." She stayed quiet after that, until he stopped suddenly and turned to his right. The door slid open, revealing the plain walls of a guest room.
"Just dump everything over there." He waved a hand randomly in the air. She placed the bags gently against the wall and waited to be dismissed. The captain wasn't paying attention to her; instead he was digging in his bejeweled bag that had at one time been standard white leather issued by the Corps.
"Found it!" he sung. When he turned around, he was triumphantly holding a rubber ducky. "You can go. I'm going to go take a bubble bath. Also, it's been arranged for you and Keleya to join my crew." With that, the flamboyant man headed for the bathroom, leaving a confused Kalypso to return to the repair shop and tell her sister the news.
~ * ~
It only took Neil two days to repair Rhonda, during which time EO caught up on paperwork and Keleya and Kalypso packed. Everyone was ready to leave, all the bags were loaded and the ship was started; they were waiting for the captain who was wrestling with Neil. The entire crew was gathered at the windshield watching EO get his hand ass handed to him.
"Should someone go help him?" Kalypso, finally dressed in preferred bright coloured clothing, wondered.
"Naw, they do this every time." Hooter snorted. "Payback for repairing our dinosaur here."
"I'm bored." Keleya yawned. "Can I walk around in my pajamas?"
"Sure, just cover anything you don't desire being touched. Ow! Hair pulling!" rolling her eyes, Keleya meandered to the room she and Kalypso would be sharing and pulled the black pants and hot pink tank top she wore to bed out of her bag. By the time she reentered the main chamber of the ship, EO was brushing out his hair with a large grin.
"We're taking off." Idy bellowed. "Brace yourself!" the seven not controlling the ship, sunk to the floor and in EO's case, pulled his bag to him.
"WAIT!!" the ship halted halfway out of the center, sending several of them sprawling. "We've got to go back!"
"Why?" Ody demanded.
"I forgot something I can't live without." With a sigh, Idy lowered back to the floor and opened the hatch once the okay was granted. Once again the entire crew crowded around the front window as their captain caused everyone to stare by running through the bay.
"Wilson!!!!" the sparkling ran, pushing people out of his way.
"Who's Wilson?" Keleya felt compelled to ask.
"It's his bedazzler." Fuzzball squeaked from his perch on Hooter's trunk.
"Oh…kay." They waited in anticipation for their captain to return, and at some point Kalypso unwrapped a large sucker and nonchalantly popped it in her mouth. Eventually, EO returned to the bay and ship, albeit a lot slower then when he left.
"Can we take off now?" Ody asked.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes!" the Geex nodded in understanding and took off. Once they were out of the bay and it was silent, Idy and Ody flipped on the cruise control and joined everyone else watching their captain. The man in question was sitting against the wall, rocking back and forth petting the bedazzler. If you listened carefully, you could hear his muttering.
"It's okay, daddy's got you. Yes, he'd never leave you." He seemed oblivious to the rest of the crew.
"He needs help." Keleya muttered. "Maybe we could help him."
"Better men then you have tried." Major bleeped.
"Good thing we aren't men." She glanced at her sister. "Perhaps he just needs a woman's touch." Everyone followed her gaze to Kalypso.
"What?!" the violet eyed girl looked up from her candy.
"You need to fix this." Keleya jerked her head in the direction of the spazzing man.
"You're obviously the most feminine of the four of us ladies." She gestured to herself and the Geex. "Fix him."
"Fine." Kalypso popped the sucker in her mouth and swaggered over to the officer. She stood in front of him for a moment before awkwardly patting him on the head lightly. "Calm down. You've got Wilson, chill out." She continued to pet his ringlets and he began to stop acting psycho.
"I'm going to my room; Neil knocked a few studs off my uniform." The black male stood up and picked his bag up off the shiny tile floor. "Get me if you need anything."
"Aye aye captain!" Hooter gave a goofy salute. They heard a door slide shut. For the rest of the day, the crew lounged around on the ship as it glided through space on cruise control. Around ten earth time, the two Kalnapqzx went to their room for bed.
"Kaly, wake up." Keleya hissed.
"Ungh," the other groaned but opened her eyes. "What?"
"You know where the kitchen is."
"Come with me." The smaller girl begged, grinning when Kalypso threw back her covers.
"You owe me." She pulled her pink and white pinstriped pants higher on her waist. The black haired aliens crept from their room over to the kitchen in the corner of the control room. Kalypso flicked on the light, illuminating the kitchen and EO sitting on the bar. The captain was cross-legged, sucking on a bottle, wearing nothing but his cape and a pair of orange and blue polka dotted boxers with rainbow smiles in the blue dots. Further inspection showed a line of empty glass bottles.
"Are you drunk?" Keleya asked shocked.
"It's cream soda." EO snapped. "I work hard and at the end of the day if I want to unwind with ten or twelve bottles of pop so be it!" he hopped off the counter, grabbed several bottles of pop from the fridge, and ran off in a flurry of cape.
"I miss Neil." The girls sighed in unison. They explored the fridge, unsurprised to find nothing inside but red velvet cake and cream soda. Shrugging each of them grabbed a bottle of soda and shuffled back to bed.
By noon the next day, none of the crew had seen the captain. Assuming he was still sleeping, they sent Kalypso to wake him up. The twenty-two year old tapped on the door.
"Captain?" she pushed it open when there was no reply, she stopped a few steps into the room when she heard his voice mumbling from the bathroom.
"Gotta get it out. Gotta get it out."
"Sir, are you okay?" she pushed on the cracked door.
"…out. Gotta get it out." Cautiously she peered into the bathroom, only to find a half dressed EO leaning over the side of the tub, scrubbing furiously at the edge of his cape with a brillo pad.
"Cake on my cape." He wailed.
"A little baking soda would take that right out." She informed him.
"Baking soda! We have that!" he shoved past her, almost knocking her into the toilet. When he came back, he thrust a cardboard box in her hands. "Please fix it." He trained sad puppy eyes on her. Rolling her own eyes, Kalypso rubbed a paste on the stain.
"There, let that soak. Now, go get dressed, no one wants to see those drawers." He chuckled at her but went to his room anyway. They emerged from his room dressed and giggling, and faced stares from the rest of the crew.
The next couple of days, everything ran smoothly. Kalypsos' baking soda paste removed the pink stain, and the Kalnapqzx began taking drinks to bed with them. By day four however, Keleya began tiring of the only drink on the ship being cream soda.
"Isn't there anything else to drink on this floating pile of space junk?" she growled one morning. "I want water." She spied the gleaming faucet in the corner of the kitchenette. Smiling from ear to ear, Keleya plucked a clean glass from a cabinet and turned on the faucet, only to be disgusted by the algae green flow of water that it spewed.
"Ew." She blanched. "No wonder you don't drink this." She reached to turn it off, but was hit in the legs with a cupboard door, sending her head into the sink and under the stream of water.
"Ew! It's on me!" she screeched, shaking her shoulder length black hair, sending droplets flying everywhere.
"That's what you get for waking me up." Hooter snapped from his nest of rags under the sink. "Now turn off the water." Scowling at the closed doors, Keleya twisted the tap and squeezed the excess water from her hair, grimacing at the slimy feeling it left on her hands.
"Tell me there's clean water in the shower." She groaned.
"Of course. Hooter contaminated the water there so he'd not be disturbed while sleeping." Idy assured her. "Just make sure you lock all the doors."
"Unless you don't mind showering with a partner." Ody added.
"You two should write a handbook for new crew members." Keleya giggled. She went to her room where she quickly grabbed her towel and a clean set of clothes before rushing to the bathroom. She made sure to lock each door, and then fiddled with the tap to find a temperature she liked. She undressed and stepped into the steam, sighing as the water washed the grime from her body. As she washed, she indulged in singing softly to herself and wasn't paying attention to anything other then the peach scented shampoo she was rinsing from her hair.
Fuzzball cooed silently when the water stopped and flitted behind a hand towel as an arm reached around the rainbow shower curtain and groped around for a towel. The small orange creature smiled guiltily and peeked out of his hiding spot right as Keleya pushed back the curtain to find her towel. Right before her hand wrapped around her towel, her eyes landed on Fuzzball hovering halfway behind the hand towel.
"Oh My God!" she screamed, grabbing the shower curtain to cover herself, succeeding in yanking it off the bar. The angry girl, yellow eyes growing darker, charged out of tub, over to the door, and struggled with the lock for a moment before throwing open the door, slamming it into the tiled wall.
"Get out you fuzzy little perv!" she jabbed a finger out the door where every occupant of the small fighter ship was watching intently.
"We assume you forgot to lock the pet door." Idy stated.
"Pet door?" Keleya stammered. She glanced at the door she'd just slammed, noticing for the first time, the small flap at the bottom.
"Fuzzball can't turn knobs." EO offered helpfully.
"This is something one should be informed of when joining this crew." She snapped. Pulling the curtain tighter around her body, she marched off for her room. She'd calmed down by the time she emerged from the room, she'd moved from intense anger to emotional wreck. She hoped no one upset her because she was likely to break down crying. When she entered the control room, she was muttering to herself to keep calm, but still stomped to the kitchen. There was a dark green glass sitting on the counter and she downed half the glass before registering the taste. She slammed the glass back on the counter, sloshing some of the remaining dark liquid on the granite surface, showing more of the clear glass.
"What did I just drink?" she gagged. Everyone else started having eye battles to see who'd tell her. Eventually, Minor scuttled up.
"That was my anti-freeze." He beeped. "I changed to while you were dressing. Don't worry, it won't harm you."
The Kalnapqzx sunk to the floor, curled into a ball and started to cry. "I fixed you, you're fixing her." Kalypso whispered to EO.
"I don't want to." He whined.
"Fix her or that stain will reappear on your cape." She threatened. "And this time there will be no baking soda to fix it."
"I don't know how!" the leather clad man wailed, but none the less shuffled over to the sobbing form on the floor. "There, there." He muttered, not helping at all. Tapping his foot, EO began to dig through his pockets, eventually extracting a set of spare keys for Rhonda. "Looky, jingle." He shook the keys above Keleya's head.
"She's not a baby stupid." Hooter snorted. "Use your head." EO nodded at his navigator and bent down, shaking his hair in her face.
"St-stop it!" Keleya hiccupped. "You're ma-making me laugh."
"That's the point." EO chirped. "You need to be happy."
"I wanna be mad." She pouted.
"Phillip or Eris?" EO asked suddenly.
"What?!" both Keleya and Kalypso gave the glinting man an odd look.
"Phillip or Eris?" he repeated slowly. Once again, he dug through his pockets, emerging this time with a rubber ducky in one hand and a small rock with googly eyes glued on it in the other.
"I'll take the duck. I can squeeze it." She grabbed for the yellow bath toy, but he pulled it out of her reach.
"Phillip." He corrected.
"Fine, Phillip." The rubber toy was placed in her hand and Keleya flattened it roughly.
"Phillip." EO whimpered. He stared at Keleya manhandling his toy for a moment and ripped it from her hands. "You were hurting him," he wedged Phillip and Eris back into his pockets.
"How is that even possible?" Kalypso asked, referring to the contents of EO's pants pockets.
"The guy shoots rainbows out of his palms." Minor clanked. "What he can fit in his pants is the least of his concern."
"Rainbows? Isn't that a little…" Kalypso muttered.
"Gay? Yes it is. But it's a defense since it shocks people." Ody interrupted. "Anyhow, you should get Keleya to brush and rinse. Major and Minor use completely safe anti-freeze, but it'll stain your teeth something terrible." Kalypso nodded and slid over to her sister on socked feet.
"Kel, time to brush de teef." She said in a corny accent, yanking the shorter girl to her feet.
Kalypso, Idy, Ody, and Keleya were disturbed from girl time a couple days later by a girly scream.
"That was the captain." Ody smirked. "He'll be here…now." Right on cue, the commanding officer threw open the door and hopped in the crowded room on one foot, a boot clutched in his hands.
"I lost a stud!" he wailed. "Right there!" he poked a spot where a stud may have been, it was hard to tell.
"We'll help, just calm dow…are your socks bedazzled?" Kalypso inquired and all heads migrated to the foot being held up in the air.
"Maybe." EO drawled. "Now help me look!" the girls shrugged and exited to the control room where they sunk down and began searching the floor. No one noticed the signal EO gave.
"I'm going to check my room again." He pranced off toward the bedrooms.
"Why are we looking for something that can be easily replaced?"
"Cause he's the captain." The Geex gave a "duh" look. The four females continued to search the floor until EO's voice interrupted them.
"Do you think it's me?" they turned to see EO in a swim suit model pose, sporting a sparkly pink thong and a matching bra.
"We still have some anti-freeze?" Keleya stammered.
"Yes, we depose of it at the space center. Why?" Ody murmured as though not wanting to spook the captain.
"We need to burn our underwear." She gulped as Fuzzball flew in using a bikini bottom as a mask. "It is flammable right?"
"At least we only have to burn the underwear." Kalypso shuddered.
"Since you plan on burning it, can I keep these?" Hooter emerged wearing a bra as a helmet and a pair of green striped panties correctly. "It makes me think I'm not a size twelve." Both Kalnapqzx shuddered visibly.
"You can have it all, just put something over it."
"Well I did see this cute sweater in a drawer." He mused.
"Hooter! Under the sink!" Idy yelled, finally taking pity. "And captain, if you must walk around the ship in underwear, make it your own!" dejectedly, the curly haired man trudged back to his room, returning not long after with a pair of shorts decorated like his pants. He blew a raspberry at a preoccupied Idy and Ody and dropped heavily on the beat up couch situated in the center of the floor.
"Never let me have any fun." He mumbled. "Sticks in mud."
"We heard that." Idy shot over her shoulder. "Behave or we'll cut the power to the fridge." She warned.
"But warm cream soda is so icky!" he whined.
"Don't tempt me and no worries." She smiled a Cheshire cat grin.
"There's too much estrogen on this ship." He said under his breath.
"This coming from a man who makes the Teletubbies look masculine." Keleya chuckled as she and her sister stood on opposite ends of the couch and sunk to the floor. Each twenty-some year old had something to entertain herself; Keleya holding a laser pointer and Kalypso was toying with a well worn deck of playing cards. EO raised himself off the couch and joined Hooter at a small table covered in maps, while Kalypso laid out solitaire, and Keleya sprawled out on the floor and began drawing designs on the ceiling with the small green dot.
"Anyway Hooter, where are we…" the captain trailed off as his gaze was captured by the laser.
"Captain!" Hooter blew a sound with his trunk. "Focus."
"Right, sorry. What were we talking about?"
"Of course, where are we going ag…" once again EO, and this time Kalypso, watched the small dot. Smiling deviously, Keleya entertained herself, making them run around until EO ran into and bounced off of a wall and Hooter snatched the keychain from her hand and dropped it down his shirt where it disappeared.
"I was playing with that!" Keleya snarled.
"Yes, well unless you plan on staying up all night with him because he's got a headache, I forbid it. Now if you'll excuse me, these underwear are riding the wrong way." Picking at the green bottoms he hadn't bothered to remove before crawling out of his room. Keleya's gaze was torn between EO pulling himself off the floor and Hooter walking toward the bathroom.
"Captain, will you go check on Hooter." Major bleeped. "He's been in there for thirteen minutes now."
"Can't she do it?" he pointed at Keleya.
"It's against my religion." She said quickly.
"Mine too!" Kalypso yelped before EO's head had managed to swing around and plead with her. With a heavy sigh, EO went into the bathroom. For a small amount of time it was silent, but it was broken by a soft plunk and identical giggles.
"I've got it." Keleya grouched, getting to her feet. The Kalnapqzx walked over to the closed door and took a deep breath before entering and closing the door behind her. Idy and Ody gazed at the door as the toilet flushed and tried to seem busy when the door opened once more. She emerged from the bathroom dragging Hooter by the trunk and EO by the ear.
"I don't know who's going to deal with these two and our poor toilet, but it isn't going to be me."
"What'd they do?" Major beeped cautiously.
"They stuffed forty-two tampons in the toilet."
"I've got the toilet." Major headed into the tiled room armed with a plunger.
"Hooter, captain; sit down please." Kalypso pointed to the couch and the two dejectedly sunk onto it. "Do you know what PMS is?" she cooed much like a pre-K teacher, frowning when they shook their heads. "Well let's just say it's not a happy time for women and while it exists, we need the tampons."
"But they're so cool when they expand!" EO exclaimed.
"Listen to me." She growled, finally losing patience. "Unless you dunderheads fancy making repeated trips to Walgreen's for the right brand, no touchy the tampons!" she all but screamed, and the two makes looked thoroughly chastised. "Now, both of you go to your rooms." They rose from the piece of furniture and headed to their respective rooms.
"It's like living with a couple of Neanderthals." Idy groaned. "Does anyone want tea?"
"We need to do this more often." Kalypso sighed, drawing her kegs up under her. The sisters had gotten up earlier then anyone else on the ship for some quiet time and were lounging on the control seats, sipping on lukewarm coffee.
"It's very relaxing." Keleya leaned back in the white swivel chair and closed her bright eyes.
"What do you suppose these buttons do?" Kalypso wondered aloud, causing the older girl to crack an eye and glare at her sister.
"Just push them and hope you don't blow us up. I'd hate to have to kill you in the afterlife."
"You can't kill me if I'm already dead."
"Try me." This time Keleya didn't bother opening her eyes. "Just push it."
Kalypso stared at the two brightly coloured buttons that caught her interest. "Well I'm damned if I do, and I'm damned if I don't. Ah, what the hell." She jabbed her finger onto the orange button and held her breath, waiting for something to happen.
"That was anti-climatic." Keleya spun around. "Or not…" the innocent looking ship had changed into a sex room. Kalypso got up and sat on the edge of the pink satin covered bed wedged in a corner.
"Do you think the captain ever used this?" she had a dreamy look on her face.
"Have you met the captain?" Keleya scoffed.
"Right. Push the other button would ya. I'm comfy." The violet eyed girl sprawled out on the bed. Grumbling, Keleya spun around and slammed her fist on the green button. Immediately, music started playing and a disco ball dropped from the ceiling.
"That is so c…" Kalypso never finished her sentence as everyone else groggily came out of their rooms, did a complicated dance and once EO put the ship back to normal, went back to bed.
"Is it odd that I find nothing weird about that?" Keleya whispered.
"I could ask you the same question." Kalypso replied. Each shaking her head, they returned to their room and fell back asleep.
The night following the button incident, Kalypso woke up early in the morning needing to piddle. She yawned heavily and shuffled into the bathroom. As she was washing her hands, a light shone to her left. Confused, she snuck into EO's room, finding the "serious" captain giggling under his blankets. She covered her mouth to stifle her laughter, and stood and watched.
"Found him!" he exclaimed. He threw his blankets off and started using his glowing hand as a flashlight. "Now where's my Sharpie?" he carefully placed a rock on the book and started digging under his bed. It was only after he emerged, red marker in hand that he noticed Kalypso.
"Come look for Waldo with!" she shrugged and joined him on the bed.
"What were you doing?" Keleya asked her sister slipping back in their room.
"Finding Waldo." The alien snatched a brush off her sisters' bed and pulled her hair back in a loose ponytail.
"All right then." Keleya picked up her pile of showering things and walked in the bathroom. She double checked all openings in the small room to make sure they were all sealed before undressing and stepping into the warm spray.
Keleya had her eyes closed as she wrapped her towel tightly around her chest and dried her hair slightly, stepping on the rug. "Why are you in here?" she raised an eyebrow. "Better question; how did you get in here?" EO, sitting on the toilet in black shorts and matching gloves with a super soaker clutched to his chest, grinned at her.
"Bobby pin." He pulled a metal pin from his curls and quickly replaced it.
"Get out!" she snapped.
"Only if you walk out in front of me." He bargained.
"Fine." She snorted and unlocked a door, stepping out. "What the hell?" she brought a hand to her face to try and wipe off some of the liquid that'd been shot at her. "What's in those?" she tried not to go berserk.
"Jell-o." Kalypso crowed.
"And cream soda." EO added quietly behind her.
"Kalypso, hand me a gun." A Jell-o filled water gun was handed to the Kalnapqzx and she ran behind EO. "Get him!"
Fifty-two minutes later, all the water guns were empty and everyone was wet and sticky. EO was the last to shower since it's "ladies first", "fat men get the right away", and Fuzzball "Doesn't look good with spikes".
When the captain got out of the shower, the ship was lurching down. "Where are we going?" he demanded, holding his embroidered towel up on his waist.
"The space center. Duh, we told you yesterday." Idy explained.
"I've found Waldo since then." He excused. At his words, Keleya gave her sister laying on the sex bed a quizzical look.
"We're about there, so unless you want to wear a towel to your meeting with Bog, we suggest you apply clothing to your person." Idy told him. He dashed off for his room, sliding back into the main room in bedazzled socks, white gauntlets, and Kalypsos' sparkly thong.
"That's not what anyone means by clothing." Keleya remarked dryly from a corner.
"Do you think this'll shock Bog enough to forget about my paperwork?" he twisted around to view his backside. "Also, does it make my thighs look big?"
"You could kill someone and no one would notice." Fuzzball squealed above them.
"Perfect." EO smiled deviously.
Finally they landed in the docking bay where Commander Bog was waiting. As soon as the loading dock opened, EO skipped over to Bog and gave his a tight hug before prancing several feet away. From the ship, Kalypso, wearing EO's uniform, came running with a fluffy pink bathrobe.
"Put it on." She ordered.
"No, my plan's working." Bog was standing, dumbstruck, staring at the duo.
"You forgot to fill out section 17B." he finally choked out, thrusting a stack at the scantily clad captain before slipping away.
"Told you it'd work." EO gloated.