This oneshot is dedicated to one of my best friends. She gave me the inspiration to write this whole plot. You know who you are. Saranghaeyo(:
Stop, Don't Stop
He was my brother's friend.
They played soccer together in our school's team. My brother, Deon, brought him over one day after their practice. We had clicked pretty well. Since I met him, we began to grow closer to each other. Now, he and I were closer than he was with my brother.
He became my best friend. I told him everything.
Nobody really understood why he hangs out with me. And, truthfully, neither did I. He was a senior like my brother while I was only a sophomore. As a general rule, seniors do not hang out with sophomores, right? Well, he didn't care, apparently.
He was popular for being one of those sweet and kind guys who wouldn't mine talking to anybody and trying to help everybody.
He was athletic. There was his soccer but he also all those other sports that he played for fun.
He was also unbelievably good-looking. He was tanned from all those hours on the field and slender and fit from all the exercising.
He's not perfect though. He had a temper at times, he was demanding and he was insistent on getting on getting his opinions out in the open.
But, no matter how we fought at times and wouldn't talk to each other for days, I still knew that he cared for me. He never would force me into something that I didn't want to do.
That was why I loved him. For his imperfections and for not being arrogant and proud even though he knew that everybody wanted to be his friend.
And that was Matthew Myers.
I'll admit that love him. I bet you're laughing right now, thinking that it's expected. That, of course, I'd fall in love with him like all those other girls. But, you see, I tried very hard not to.
When I first realized that I loved him, I stayed away from him from a whole week. I would've tried to stay away from him for a longer period of time if he hadn't decided to show up in my room one day after school, demanding to know what had he did wrongly. I shook my head but couldn't speak. It hit me then how much I really loved him and how scarily fast it took me to miss him till it hurt. He had narrowed his eyes at me, growling that I owed him the truth, at the very least. That caused me to burst out crying. His anger had disappeared instantly and was replaced by worry at the sight of my tears. He had pulled me to him and tried to soothe me even though he didn't even know why I was crying. It only made me cry even harder because I knew that he was right. I owed him the truth, at the very least.
He had girlfriends. Well, of course, right? Why wouldn't he? I hadn't had the courage to admit to him that I loved him because I was too afraid on how he'd react. I didn't want to lose him as a friend so I stayed silent, hoping that one day the feelings I had for him would just fade. But it didn't.
When he broke up with his girlfriends, they would immediately put the blame on me. They would say that I'm the reason as to why he broke up with them. Because he was so close to me. Because they said that I would tell him that they're not good enough for him. So, of course, they'd start harassing me. But he always ended up protecting me. He won't let them touch me.
I was surviving living like that. I figured that I still might be able to get over him one of these days. But like all secrets, they can't remain as one when everybody knows it's true but you're just denying it.
"Lea! Wait up, geez," he called out.
I slowed down my pace but didn't stop. He caught up with me soon after.
"Where are you going?" he asked, panting slightly. I wondered where he had begun running in search of me.
"Home," I replied him simply. I really wasn't feeling like having a conversation with him right now.
"Lea," he called out to me softly from somewhere behind. I turned around to find out that he had stopped walking. I stopped too and sighed.
I was exhausted. Very exhausted. But he looked so pained and confused that I couldn't just leave him to feel pitiful.
I knew what he was worrying about even before he had to ask.
"Are you okay?"
"Why wouldn't I be?" I asked, feigning ignorance.
Oh, I know exactly what he's talking about. It's just that I didn't want to think about it.
"Aria...," he trailed off.
I felt my heart lurched. Aria is his ex-girlfriend as of yesterday night. As expected, she had confronted me and Matthew. She had screamed out so loudly that Mathew was so blind that he couldn't even see that his best friend is in love with him. He had told her off but I definitely didn't miss the fact that his eyes had flickered to mine uncertainly when she had screamed out her accusations.
I nodded wearily, "Matthew...," I sighed, "I'm just really, really, tired right now. I'm fine. Seriously. I'll just... I'll call you tonight, okay?"
He eyed me critically for a moment before nodding. I gave him a weak smile and spun around, ready to walk away… And walked right into a stop sign.
I stumbled back from the impact and I was about to fall if Matthew hadn't wrapped his arms around my waist and steadied me.
I yanked myself away from him. The skin contact made things more unbearable.
"Thanks," I mumbled, feeling my cheeks heat up.
"The sign said stop," he started dangerously, "Why the hell did you walk into it?! IT SAID STOP," he yelled.
I glared at him, "I didn't know that it was there!"
He watched me for a moment before bursting out into laughter. I walked over and started whacking him as hard as I could.
"OW!" he yelled in protest.
"Okay, okay, geez," he chuckled, grabbing my wrist easily and pulling me to him.
Again, I pulled away and stumbled back. But this time, I managed to steady myself.
"I've got to go," I told him quietly before turning to leave him all alone.
I turned around to find Gabrielle running towards me. I stopped and waited for her to reach me.
"Yeah?" I asked.
"About that project," she panted, "When do you want to get started on it?"
Gabrielle and I had been assigned to work together on this project for Literature. I didn't mind doing the project with her. She was a nice and quiet girl but she was very excited about getting started on it though. She had asked me the question at least five times today.
"Uh, how about Wednesday?" I asked her randomly. I didn't even know if I was busy on Wednesday. I just wanted her to go away. I wanted to be alone right now.
"Sure! That's good. We'll do it at the library, okay?"
I nodded absentmindedly and stepped on the road, slowly backing away from her.
It all happened quickly then. A car blared its horn and I whipped my head to the direction of the sound to find a car speeding towards me. I was partially aware of how Gabrielle had started screaming but I didn't care. I blinked as the headlights reached my eyes. Well, I wasn't really planning on dying but-
I got yanked back abruptly. I felt the wind blow around me as my savior spun me away from the road. Unfortunately for him, things got messy and I ended up falling on him with a startled yelp.
I was aware of how things around me had gotten really quiet. I was also aware of how my savior was now groaning. I pulled away to see who it was.
I had managed to hide away from him for the whole day in school. And I thought that I might not even have to see him at all today. But obviously, I was wrong.
I clumsily shoved myself away from him and stood up. I watched as he sat on the pavement and glared up at me.
"What is wrong with you?!" he yelled.
I shrugged and tried to act indifferent although my cheeks were burning.
He grabbed my wrist though and yanked me to his level, "Would you please stop walking into things and endangering yourself?" he growled angrily.
I pulled my wrist out of his grip and stood up properly.
"Thanks," I said loudly, hoping that the crowd would get the point and just disperse.
I offered him my hand and he took it. I pulled him up, let go of his hand and nodded my thanks, softly this time.
I turned around and left him standing there all alone. Again.
My mom had shaken me awake the next day, telling me to get ready for school. I told her that I wasn't feeling so well and asked her if I could stay at home. She had nodded and left. I sat on my bed and stared out the window.
About half an hour later, though, I heard my door creek open.
"Lee, are you okay?"
I looked away from the window to find my brother standing by the doorway, his bag swung casually across his chest.
"Yeah. I am. Don't worry about me," I smiled weakly at him.
He didn't need to know how awful I felt.
He walked over to me, shutting the door behind him. He came over and sat next to me on the bed.
"This has something to do with Matthew, doesn't it?" he prodded.
I looked up to meet his piercing gaze. I sighed and looked away.
"I don't know what's going on with the two of you, but you need to talk to him, okay? He worries about you," he told me. He smiled softly when I turned around to look at him again.
I watched him for what seemed like ages before he broke the silence.
"Look, sis, I've got to go. I'll see you later," he told me, reaching over to kiss my forehead before leaving me all alone.
I started to cry.
"Lea," a familiar voice called out to me.
I was looking out the window again. It looked so peaceful out there. So… deceiving. I knew that school was over by now.
I looked up towards the direction of where the voice had come from. Matthew was leaning against the doorframe, his gaze penetrating. I looked away from him and out the window again.
"I looked for you in school but I couldn't find you. Deon told me you didn't come to school because you weren't feeling well," he murmured. I heard him shut the door close. I nodded slightly.
I'm going to kill my brother when he gets home.
"Well, are you feeling better now, then?"
I could hear his footsteps as he made his way slowly towards me. Again, I nodded.
I didn't know that he was so close by until I felt his hands on my cheeks, forcing me to look at him.
"What's wrong, Lee?" he murmured.
He was standing right by my bed. He was leaning down to keep his hands on my cheeks.
"Nothing," I responded, my voice raw since I haven't spoken a word since morning.
"Lea, stop lying to me," he warned.
I glared at him and smacked his hands away from my face, "It's not my problem if you refuse to believe what I tell you."
He was definitely taken aback from my response from the way his eyes widened and his mouth dropped open slightly.
"God, what the fuck is wrong with you?" he snapped, glaring at me, "What made you so sick that you couldn't even come to school today, goddamnit?"
When I didn't reply, he continued, "Fuck, Lea. You've been acting weird ever since that whole week that you avoided me. You won't talk to me. You barely even look at me. You make crap excuses just to get away from me," he groaned in exasperation.
He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed.
"Tell me," he said in a softer voice, "Tell me, Lea. What's wrong? I can't pretend like I don't care anymore."
When I refused to react to him, he lost his temper again, "Damn it, Lea! Just... God. Just fucking talk to me!"
"You want to know what my problem is?" I hissed, my own temper rising, "You. You are my fucking problem."
"Oh. So now you're putting the blame on me?" he growled.
I got off the bed, shoving him back. He stumbled but regained his footing quickly.
"Aria was right. God, all of them were right. I'm in love you. Like an idiot, I fell in love with you. I thought that maybe, if I pretended that it didn't affect me, it'll all just go away. But it didn't, no matter how hard I tried, it won't even fade away. I can't… I can't do this anymore, Matthew. I can't be your best friend like you expect me to. It'll just end up hurting me over and over again. I'm sorry that I've been weird to you but I was trying to forget you while you were right there. God, I don't even know what I was thinking. I'm sorry, but I can't be your friend anymore. I need to get over you. I need… I need to stop loving you," I gushed.
I looked away from him. I didn't want to see his reaction. I couldn't hold back the tears anymore though and soon enough, the sobs overcame me. I clutched my chest, and tried to breathe deeply. God, this hurts so much.
"And you said pretending like you don't care is hard," I laughed through the pain, "Trying to pretend that you're not in love with someone is harder."
"I fell in love with my best friend. Gosh, I'm so predictable," I sobbed pathetically, smiling bitterly.
I closed my eyes, focusing on trying to keep my breath steady.
Suddenly, I felt warm arms around me.
My eyes fluttered open in shock and I realized that he was hugging me tightly.
I knew that this would hurt me worse later, but I didn't care. I wound my arms around his neck and hugged him back just as tightly.
He pulled back, unwound his arms from my waist and caressed my cheeks, wiping the tears away.
He pressed forehead against mine. I ignored the lurch that I felt.
"Why didn't you tell me earlier?"
"Because… I knew what you would say. You don't like me that way," I murmured, feeling the tears threatening to fall all over again.
"Wh-What makes you think that I don't?" he pulled back even further to watch my reaction.
"Your girlfriends?" I raised an eyebrow despite myself. Geez, did he really think I'm that stupid?
"The only reason I dated them was because I was trying to fight off the feelings I had for someone else. I was hoping that the feelings I felt for her. I knew it was love but I didn't want to believe that I loved her, of all people. So, I dated the other girls, hoping that I would feel something stronger for the other girls instead of what I felt for her," he breathed, pressing his forehead against mine, "It didn't even work. If anything, it made me love her more."
He pressed his lips against mine but pulled back just as abruptly. I felt my head spin.
"I love you too, Lea," he smiled, leaning down to kiss me again.
"You can hit me, curse me, whatever you want as a payback. But don't stop, " he whispered desperately when he pulled back again, "Don't stop loving me. Don't you even dare to try."
Matthew Myers is this guy I know. He is an extraordinary guy.
He is my boyfriend.
A.N. I know that this oneshot is unlike my normal ones, but i hope you like it anyway.