Disclaimer: I don't own, wait a minit, I own everything! ::simles mischeiveously:: This is gonna be strange.

Warning: This story may contain traces of chapters, strange humor, and ranting.

A/N This story is dedicated to Annalize, who has a stranger sence of humor than mine. (If that's even possible.)


Zandra gazed at her surroundings. Was she having a dream? But she didn't dream anymore. Were her eyes closed? No, her eyes were open. Then it hit her. The blackness she was seeing was the inside of her coffin. She slowly opened the lid of the coffin. She sat up and looked around. Her maker was nowhere to be seen. But just because I can't see him doesn't mean that he isn't there. Zandra slowly stood up and climbed out of the coffin. She began to walk towards the door. Her hand was on the knob when the knob turned by itself and the door creaked open. A tall figure stood silhouetted in the doorframe.
"So I see that you've found your way to the door." said a sarcastic voice the Zandra knew only too well.
"Yeah, you wanna make something out of it." replied Zandra, hopelessly trying to put on a tough attitude. The figure laughed to himself as he stepped into the room. He had seen right through her less than perfect acting skills.
"You try so hard it's pitiful. But that's besides the point. You do realize what you are, don't you?" asked her maker.
"Yes." replied Zandra after some hesitation.
"Good, than we're getting somewhere."
"Who are you?" asked Zandra with courage that seemed to appear out of thin air.
"I suppose I never did introduce myself." he said more to himself than to Zandra. "My name is Darien, and I am your maker."
A stream of images flooded Zandra's mind. She had been going to the movies to meet her friends. There was an alleyway, a scream that could only have been her own, and a siering white-hot pain.
"Why?" Zandra asked rather timidly now, "Why me?"
"That is not a question for right now." replied Darien as he stepped towards Zandra, and attempted to take her hand. Zandra quickly took a step away from Darien, and found herself falling backwards.
"You must learn your own abilities." began Darien, "For example, you know are able to move to fast for mortals to see. You need to learn how to control your new strengths." Zandra was liking this conversation less and less.
"I don't think that I have to mention that even though you are now immortal certain things can still kill you. For you are not truly immortal." Darien turned and walked out of the open door, and left Zandra to wonder what he had meant when he said truly immortal. Suddenly realizing that Darien had left the door open Zandra tentatively poked her head out the door. She saw Darien walking down the hall to her right.
"Hey, wait up!" cried Zandra as she raced after her maker.
"What?" asked Darien.
"Isn't there anything else I should know?" asked Zandra.
"More than you could possibly imagine." replied Darien with a self-satisfied grin on her face.
"Well, is there like a vampire's manual that I should buy, or something like that. I mean, if there's more stuff than I could imagine, than shouldn't I hit the books?" asked Zandra, not quite understanding.
"A vampire's manual." chuckled Darien to himself. "No, there is no vampire manual. I will teach you all you need to know." at this point Darien laughed at some joke that Zandra hadn't caught.
"Well what do I need to know to survive?" asked Zandra, who was getting annoyed with Darien's little games.
"Haven't you ever heard that ignorance is bliss?" asked Darien.
"Ha, ha, that is just too funny." said Zandra in a voice that was dripping with sarcasm. She noticed that Darien was leading her towards a door that led to the outside.
"Where are we going?" asked Zandra.
"You have to feed." replied Darien as he stepped outside.
"Finally, he tells me something. Get out the book of miracles!" said Zandra half to herself and half to Darien.
"The what?" asked Darien, with a look of confusion on his face.
"Never mind." said Zandra. Ha, ha. thought Zandra, Now I have a joke that you don't get! God, that sounded so five years old!

A/N In your face The Phantom Pen!