NOTE: I have nothing against homosexuality or etc. This just pop into my head and I wanted to write down everthing. There may be some people who went/go through this, and I just wanted to make a little one-shot. I type this a while ago and I might mmake antoher one, but from a "girl" point-of-view

I love him. I really do care for him. He is my world, air and my everything. I can not breath without him nor can I live. It's a addiction. He is everywhere. He is the drug. Therefore, I am the addict that throw away twenties and fifties everyday. It's wrong, yet I am drawn to the wrong. Like people who see aids of drugs and alcohol all the time, but does that stop them from smoking a joint? I don't think so.

The Human mind is drawn to the wrong, than the right. If you tell someone that they can't do something they will most likely do it anyway. It's a reaction that can not be stop. It's...natural.

My situation however, is different. I'm not a drug addict or a alcoholic. I'm a normal guy, even though there isn't a real "definition" for normal, and I'm in a deep problem.

I love someone no....I lust for someone that I'm not suppose to. I'm a sinner for this, yet at the same time I am not. I never done anything "physical", well besides the time in my bed, but beyond that I have been good. Dreams of him still play in my head like a video. Sometimes, I will pause it and I would glaze at the screen. Trying to catch the details and put together all the small pieces. Maybe if I finish the puzzle, I can see the whole picture?

However, I know I can't. I can't never do that. The sad thing is, I tried so many times.

He was there. He was standing right there. I couldn't say anything. I wanted to scream out that "I love you" and "let's be together". Pathetic. He probably won't respond or worse he would tell holy people. I don't want to go to hell, because of my twisted mind. I am a normal guy, but I just need help. I need a God or a saint. Someone who can vanished my wicked thoughts of him. So pretty and soft! I must be save! There must be a cure for this evil sin, yet there isn't.

I am the problem. Not him. I have these sinful thoughts of him. Not him. He is too young to understand what is gong on im my mind, or what I dream about. I know it is wrong, but I just can't help it. I want him. I need him. I don't care what no one says. I'm going to have him one way or the other, even if I am punish in the progress.

If I can have one day, where I can him all to myself, and no can judge...I would take it. Just to have him in my arms for one day, means to the world to me. We can live together in a world where we aren't judge by society or prosecuted by the higher-ups. We can just be free. No worries or pain. However, I know that day will never come. It didn't come back then and it won't come now.

So, I will wait for that day where we can be together. If that day takes for years, centuries, or it never happens I will stay wait. I love him a lot and I will never stop loving. When I close my eyes tonight, I will be with him again. In my thoughts and my dreams. I can say "I love you" and he can say it back to me with no dwells.

I can kiss him on cheek and no one would dare make a sound. I can express my love to him and no one would express hatred. We can be together and nobody would hurt us. Maybe that day would come tomorrow or next week, but I will never stop loving him. We love each other, yet the world isn't ready for us yet.