I found a list today,

Full of one-liners and quotes,

All the witty shit we used to say to eachother.

All the inside jokes,

The one-night laughs,

And the ongoing ones, too.

I found memories that I wish I'd forgotten,
And ones I wish I didn't have to forget.

Where the hell have you gone?

I found a folder last week,

Full of pictures I'd forgotten all about,

From when you first came home,

And from the second time, too.

All the times we spent,

Being drunk,

Being pissed,

Being happy.

I listened to those songs again,

The ones that used to be ours.

I forced every word into my head,

Instead of my mouth,

Instead of yours.


Now I'm crashing ever further than I did the first time,

Digging my hole,

And still looking for you at the bottom of it.

Now I'm smoking every cigarette in spite of you,

Bleeding in memory of you,

And living in the hate for you.

Always for you.

And I'm realizing now

In the end,

You still fucking win.

I'm realizing now,

That you'll always win.

Because I'll always miss you.