The moment the words left my mouth, all of the glass windows behind me shattered with a crack. My mom stood up and screamed. I couldn't actually hear her shriek because of the exploding lamps above me. Three of the other tables around ours spontaneously lit on fire, prompting everyone around to get up in panic, if they weren't up already. As my dad stood up in disappointment and shock, my plate of half-eaten steak and mashed potatoes exploded, splattering food all around me. There may even have been a tiger running into the restaurant through the holes in the wall, but I couldn't tell because of all of the commotion. With all the screaming, smoke, fire, animals, and overall disaster, I still didn't move. I just sat there expressionless, neither sad nor surprised. I had this coming.
No. None of that actually happened the day I came out of the closet. I was almost disappointed how generally supportive my parents were that day. In any case, I was now out. The most defining moment of my life was finally over, and I could at last try to get what I've always wanted. What I've dreamed about all my life is having that fairy tale romance.
I'd dated girls in the past, but, needless to say, that didn't exactly give me a sense of fulfillment. Having a boyfriend would change my life. We would secretly eye each other for weeks before actually talking. Deep down, our feelings would just grow stronger, along with doubts wondering if the feelings were mutual. I'd want him so badly and he'd want me. We would find some secret place to meet up at night, simply to tell each other how we felt. Yet, upon seeing each other, instead, we'd just let our passions collide with our lips.
My first kiss (with a guy) would be the most romantic moment possible, with the moon and the stars shining down. My soul would feel lifted to heaven, just from that one moment. After falling in love, I knew that we would graduate, get married somehow, and live the rest of our days happily ever after. It would be a fairy tale romance for the books, and it would be all mine.
Yes. I knew that I had my expectations just a little too high. I'm a dreamer, I can't help it. In any case, all of that led me to this very moment, in this very spot. I was standing in front of a door in some obscure hallway at my university union building. I read the words aloud to myself, in an effort to brace myself for the adventure that was to come: Gay Straight Alliance.
Yes, I was standing in front of the Gay-Straight Alliance room. This was my fourth semester living on campus here at the university, and never have I ever seen this room before. It figures. I was such a closet case before the past week, I wouldn't have come within 200 foot radius of this place.
None of that mattered anymore. I was out, and I wanted to find a boyfriend. I was tired of spending all my days drooling over guys I could never have. The hardest part of gay dating is not knowing whether or not a guy is gay, and that if you asked, you'd probably get beaten up by said hot guy. I was starting to wonder whether or not the risk was worth it, when I decided to join the GSA.
Yes. My intentions weren't exactly saintly. I wasn't some kind of "out-and-proud" activist. How could I be? I've only been known as gay to the world for less than two weeks. Yet, you were allowed to go to the weekly GSA meetings no matter what your sexual orientation, or, in my case, your sexual intention.
Or perhaps I should say sexual attention, because the moment I walked in the room, my eyes were on one guy, and I knew that there was no backing out now. My body had a mind of its own, and it decided that we were going to stay, just to be near him.