AN: I have a smirk on my face right now, because I know once you see the alert in your emails you guys will be happy. I know you didn't expect such a quick update, but I ended up having an accident and tearing the ligaments in my foot, so now I can't walk and have plenty of time to write.
Enjoy guys. I really hope you like it.
"And what would that have to be about?" I tried not to choke on my own words.
He sighed and rubbed his hands over his face, tired just as much as I was with this whole situation. "We were arguing about being immature outside, and it got me thinking; if we're not going to be together, I'd rather be friends with you than act like how we were outside."
I knew by the way he looked up at me from hooded eyes that he was giving me an option to tell him I didn't want that that I wanted to be with him. And as I tried to tell him I wanted just that, something inside of me stopped me. Could it possibly be fear, or someone upstairs sending down a sign that going with my gut was a bad choice? "Friends," I tried it out on my tongue and a nauseating sensation rushed to the pit of my stomach. "I think that's a good idea." No. I thought the complete opposite from that. I wanted to sleep in his bed again with his strong arms enveloping me. However, my fears weren't prepared to give me that.
I caught sight of his Adam's apple moving up and down. He nodded his head, as if he were trying to get used to the idea. "Good, because… you know Nirvana misses you, and I'm sort of not ready to give him back," a slight crooked smile appeared on his flawless face that gave me the squeezing feeling in my chest every time I breathed in.
"I'll have to come visit soon…" It was awfully quiet, and for the first time I experienced uncomfortable silence between Jack and I. If this was what us being friends entailed I didn't want it, because being so close to him and not being able to touch left me hallow, so easy to break into a million pieces, and as long as I was that, I'd be balancing on a thin rope waiting to slip and fall.
He nodded again, probably biting back what he really wanted to say. And those words, I was desperate for, because I frankly didn't know what he was swallowing down. I was unconditionally lost to how he felt about me, now. Him wanting to be friends left me thinking he didn't want me, on the contrary his eyes told a different story.
I turned around to open the door; the room seemed to be getting smaller by the minute, and I wanted out before I fainted, but as my hand turned the knob, the door wouldn't budge. "Fuck!" Great, that was just great!
"What?" I felt him approach behind me; we were close enough that if he were to lean forward I'd be up against his secure chest.
I turned on him with fire in my eyes, "You dickhead!" I screamed, frustrated and flustered, "You locked us in."
"I locked us in?" his eyes rose in surprise, "No, Willow the door locked us in," he spoke with bitter and a patronizing voice. He moved me aside, and I attempted unsuccessfully not to shiver from his touch. He wiggled the knob a little more aggressively and tired to push it open with his shoulder. "Motherfucker," he mumbled.
"Why try when I already did?" I pushed at him but all he did was look down at me like I was an annoying bug. "This is your fault, you do understand that, right?" I crossed my arms stubbornly over my chest.
"You could have fucking told me not to close it when I pulled you in here!" He took a step forward and I swear to God he grew five inches.
"Right, Jack!" I threw my arms up in exasperation, "Because the first thing I think when someone pulls me into a dark office is. 'Oh, whoops, better tell him the door locks from the outside once you close it.' Yeah real bright idea."
"You're pissing me off, Hastings." He pointed a finger, warning me.
I flipped him off, sick of looking at his face. And to think I still wanted something with him. We turned our attention to the door and started banging and screaming for help. After ten minutes of no sign of anyone knowing we were in here I gave up and slid down the door.
"Give up. You can't hear anything from outside or inside," I sighed, trying to catch my breath. The boy beside me kicked the door once more before sliding down the door beside me. I patted my pockets in search for my cell, I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself down; it was one thing after the other. "Do you have your cell on you?"
Jack checked his pocket before rolling his head to look at me, "I left it with Sophia after dinner."
"Damn it, Jack. Who leaves their phone with a toddler?" I shot at him.
"She likes playing with the apps! And where the hell is your phone, huh? I don't see it," came his snarl.
"It's in my bag," I told him hopelessly.
"Well it's no good there, isn't it?" Wow, he was angry.
"Shut up." I ordered him.
"No. You shut up!"
I turned to him, my eyes blazing with rage, "No, you. Jackass." I tried to push him with all my strength and failed.
He pushed me, though I knew he didn't use all his strength, it did make me stagger back a little. "Bitch. Shut up before I make you," he barked, his lips inches from mine.
"And how could you possibly do that?" I raised an eyebrow daring him to lay a finger on me.
He shot up, and I admit it made me retreat back to my main sitting spot. I watched as he grabbed the stress ball from the desk. He kneeled down, and then leaned towards me, very seriously he said, "I'll shove this ball into your mouth. Then we'll see who's talking."
I crossed my arms again, "Whatever." I shook my head, crossed with the way he was acting and turned away from his intense stare. "So what do we do?"
He shrugged his shoulder, "They're bound to discover us missing, and then they'll search for us. Until then, I'm going to have to put up with you." I opened my mouth to give him a smartass comment, however he pinched my mouth closed with his fingers. "Don't push me, Willow." He sounded tired, yet I wasn't going to fight with him anymore about this. So I sat there while he retrieved to the leather chair.
Forty-three minutes and 21 seconds it took for one of us to break the silence. Those minutes we spent in utter silence with a few brief glances towards each other, and I keeping an unhealthy watch on the time. I was the first to break the silence when Jack suddenly stood up and strode towards me; he slipped off his leather jacket and handed it to me. I looked up at him confused. "Why are you giving me your jacket?"
He shrugged his shoulder, "You're cold." He stretched out his arm, silently pleading for me to take it.
"I'm not cold," I lied.
He rolled his eyes, and then dropped the jacket into my lap. He didn't say anything until he sat back down, this time in front of me on the floor. "I could see your Goosebumps from the chair; you're cold."
I looked down at the jacket and slipped it on, aware that his eyes were on me. Immediately I felt like I was in Jack's arms, with his warm and delicious bad boy smells enveloping me. I cleared my throat and looked up at his thick lashed framed eyes. "Thank you," I said a little sheepishly.
He didn't say anything back, although he did stare at me, not in that creepy kind of way. It wasn't a perverted or angry stare… I couldn't quite place what it truly was. Concern? "You haven't been eating properly," he stated.
"Don't," I warned him.
"Don't start. I already cope it from everyone else, I especially don't need it from you." I wasn't sure if it was his jacket or the fact that he still cared for my health that made me warm. Either way I was content.
"I'm trying to make conversation. Come on, Willow, we have to push past this awkwardness if we're going to be friends." He gave me a cute smile that made my tongue eager to taste what was behind his lips.
"Okay…" I said a little hesitantly, "How's Nirvana?" I snuggled deeper into his leather jacket.
His smile grew a fragment. "He's great. He's grown, and he'll chew on my shoes but that's only when I don't give him enough attention." He laughed to himself as if he was recalling a funny memory of Nirvana.
Surprisingly, I let out a little giggle, "What else does he do?" I prompted.
"He does that cute thing when he's being told off, you know how he lowers his head then covers his eyes with his paws? And I have to stop telling him off right at that moment, because even I can't stand to scream at the poor guy." He ran his hand through his hair causing it to stick up wildly.
"That's so cute!" I exclaimed. "I miss sleeping with him."
"Too bad, he's my sleeping buddy now," he told me, proudly.
I stretched my leg and kicked him playfully on his knee, "Who do you think Nirvana will choose; an amazing bright girl or… some guy?" I scoffed at the end.
"Well this guy feeds him every day, plays with him, and pretty much dedicates his whole life to this little fellow, and lets not forget this guys charming looks."
"Charming?" I let out a fake laugh, "Wow. Ok."
"Hey," he grabbed my foot that rested against his knee, "I'm charming!"
"Sure you are." I rolled my eyes.
He tugged at my foot causing me to move forward, "You saying you kissed me even though you didn't think I was charming?" My giggled came to a halt as soon as he mentioned us kissing. He raised an eyebrow waiting for me to respond. How could he be all right with talking about something like that? Did he really move on so fast?
"Uh, I felt bad for you, hence why my eyes were closed every time; didn't want to be looking at your face when I did it," that was the stupidest lie I had ever told; my thoughts echoed his lips constantly.
A silence over took the room as we stared at each other, my eyes bored into his, looking for any indication that he still cared for me more than a friend. My attention moved down to skim the outline of his perfect lips.
He cleared the stillness with a cough and a little shake of the head, "Maybe we can try the windows?" He turned his head around to investigate them.
"No point trying; they're locked," I sighed and looked at the time; it was quarter passed eleven. "There's forty-five minutes until Christmas. We need to get out of here before then," I told him, fatigued taking over my voice.
And then silence took over again, so I gave up all together and just sat there thinking. And it occurred to me that I didn't remember the last time I kissed his lips. It angered me to the point where I was scowling at myself.
"Are you OK? You look a little pale, Willow?" Jack's forever mesmerising voice broke through my train of thought.
"Huh?" I blinked hard.
"You look sick," he told me, leaning in to move the hair that was covering my face, the touch of his fingers slipping my hair behind my ears sent a spark through my veins.
I raised my eyes, to fine his face close to mine, studying me. Blue had become my favorite color over the weeks, however it wasn't any blue… it was Jack's type of blue. "I don't remember…" My tongue had a mind of it's own.
"You don't remember what?" His voice was a gentle push.
"I—I can't—" I stuttered trying to figure out what I was going to say. What was that little line of advice? Think before you speak? Yeah that; I should have done that. "I can't remember the last time we kissed." His eyes widened a fragment as they rested on my lips. "I can remember the beat of your heart and how it would jump through your chest whenever we kissed, and I can even feel the way your arms surrounded me," my voice was a faint whisper as he was so close to me, "but the last time we kissed… I can't—" my favorite smile appeared on his lips as the hand he hadn't removed from my hair twirled a lock of hair around its finger.
After a moment he told me, "At the Christmas Party, right before you left me to go toilet." He looked down then up again to meet my glassy eyes, "I could never forget something like that."
I smiled, closing my eyes remembering the moment. "I never thought we'd end like this, I wasn't prepared to have our last kiss." I didn't know what I was saying; I wanted him to know how much I missed him, but I didn't want to go any further than that, because when I looked forward I couldn't see anything but the darkness, it caused me to be afraid of the dark. "But we're friends now, that's still cool," I said lamely. I ignored his hand and stood up, needing air to breath. I leaned against the hard wood of the door trying to catch my breath. I saw Jack stand up and I immediately closed my eyes afraid of what he'd do, I was disappointed I couldn't somehow temporarily go deaf, fearful of what he'd say.
I felt his hands—so strong yet so gentle, frame my face. "Open your eyes, Willow," he whispered. His breath was hot against my lips, and I felt like knees were about to buckle. So much for being just friends, right? It didn't last long.
"What're you doing?" I sensed his lips so close to mine, tempting me.
I opened my eyes to meet his deep stare, "I'm giving you a last kiss you wont forget," he murmured before placing his lips on mine.
The feel of his soft lips connecting with mine left everything in the world perfect. It was soft and slow, making me weak to the knees, I wrapped my arms around his neck for support and the fear he'd pull back. I felt his arm enclose around my waist as his hand made it's way down my face to rest in the nook of my neck. He took a step forward pushing me against the cool wood. His tongue ran across my lips asking for entrance and I was happy to allow him in. He played with my tongue painfully slow, causing me to moan in pleasure. My breath quickened as we finally sped the kiss up; he tasted like dessert so I captured his bottom lip and sucked wondering if it'd taste the same.
It was like we were making up for lost time, and making the time we had for our last kiss worthwhile. And then it dawned on me; reality that is, him kissing me would only complicate things and make turning away so much more harder than I thought possible. "I don't want to let go," I murmured between his kiss.
"Then don't. Stay with me." He placed his lips on mine again and I was certain he could feel my heart beating wildly through my chest.
A tear escape my eyes as I let go of him, "I'm so sorry." I wanted to badly to say 'fuck it' and kiss him again.
He removed his arms from me, and I immediately felt hollow. He nodded his head at me in agreement, however his eyes wouldn't meet mine. I rested my head against the door, holding back the tears. "Jack—" the rest was cut off from my scream as the door was swung open and my ass connected with the tiled floor.
I looked up to see Vickie. "There you two are!" She crossed her arms and looked down at me, "Oh, are you ok, darling?"
I looked up at her with a bitter smile. "Just dandy, I think my ass bone is broken." I grabbed the offered hand of Vickie. "We were trapped in the office."
"You were? Oh dear me, you should have screamed out for us." I had a feeling she knew we were locked, and by the look on Jack's face I'm sure his suspicions matched mine.
"Didn't it occur to you to look for us when we went missing for over two hours, mom?" Jack crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe.
"No, it didn't. You and Willow are such good friends we thought you were upstairs talking. It was only till now that we realised you were missing when you wouldn't respond to us." She absentmindedly smoothed out the dress she was wearing.
Jack opened his mouth to say something but I was faster than him, "That's alright, Vickie, thank you for finding us." I sent Jack a knowing look, telling him to not bother.
"You're welcome. Come on, both of you, we're having coco by the fire, it's nearly Christmas and the kids are eager to open a present."
We followed her in silence before Jack started to turn towards the door, "Where are you going?" I asked. I hoped it didn't have anything to do with me.
"Cigarette." He waved his deck in front of me, before turning the other way into the outside cold.
"Jack!" I turned to Vickie and told her to go on, that I'd only be a second, when she did I walked over to Jack. "Take it," I handed him his jacket.
He shook his head, "keep it," He pushed it towards me
"What? No, are you crazy? You'll freeze out there." I shoved it into his arms.
"I'll be fine, Willow," his words her tense. "I'll only be a few minutes. Keep it; it looks better on you, anyway." I could object to that, however I didn't because he closed the door in my face.
I sucked in a deep breath, trying to compose myself before my family could see what a wreck I was.
I guess Jack decided to have a few more than one cigarette for he game inside five minutes to twelve. I sat with Alec at the piano, as his talented fingers did their work playing Christmas carols, as requested by Dana and Vickie. He came in and sat next to Sophia and Spencer as they roasted marshmallows by the open fire.
Alec catching onto the tension asked me, "So what exactly happened in there?" his eyes didn't concentrate on the piano and I wondered how in the world he could do that.
"Nothing. Anyway it's none of your business seeing as you were in on the whole thing." I grumbled, taking a sip of my coco.
"I already told you, I was too busy with the kids to even have you and Jack pass my mind." He stopped playing, and Dana immediately told him to start back up again. "It doesn't look like nothing happened, you're wearing his jacket, and you aren't looking at each other. If I didn't know any better I'd say you had sex on our dad's desk and now feel guilty."
I nearly chocked on my coco, "How in the world do you get that from my wearing his jacket and our lack of eye contact?"
"Alec Cummings knows all, sis." I smacked his head, "Ow!'
"Oh, I'm sorry, you said you knew all so I figured you'd see that coming." I stood up with a pungent smile on my face.
"Merry Christmas!" My father walked into the room—no scratch that, Santa Clause came into the room with a sack of presents. Sophia jumped up in excitement; she ran over to Santa Clause and hugged him. The rest of us laughed, and I noticed Spencer stood back. He had already told us older ones he didn't believe in Santa. "Ho, ho, ho! My elves tell me you've been a good girl this year, Sophia. Do you know what that means?"
Sophia, now in my dad's arms, giggled. "More presents for me!"
"Correct! Good girl. Now before we give out presents you and everyone else have to say merry Christmas to everyone, like a good girl."
Sophia pulled down my dad's fake beared, "Okay, Uncle Roy." She chuckled and so did everyone else.
"How'd you know?" Vickie asked her daughter.
"Because, mommy. The one I saw at the mall has brown eyes! Uncle Roy has green."
"You're the smartest little girl I've ever known, Sophie," Jack told her, the little angel sat in Jack's lap. "Merry Christmas," he kissed her on the forehead.
"Merry Christmas," Alec gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek and I pretended to be disgusted by wiping my cheek. He rolled his eyes in response.
The Merry Christmases went around the room and Jack and I managed to get out of talking and a kiss on a cheek without anyone noticing. We now sat around the Christmas tree as my dad handed out a present to everyone. Sophia opened hers first, and ended up receiving a pretty awesome telescope from Dana and dad, because apparently she wanted to be an astronaut.
The rest of the night proceeded the same way until one in the morning when Sophia was curled up next to me on the couch sound asleep. "I think I should head home." The adults were still laughing and sitting around the table in the dinning room.
Alec and Jack who were playing some video game paused it and turned to me. "I'll see you out." Jack got up and stood a little awkwardly. Ok, so now he didn't want to avoid me. This boy had a serious case of bipolar.
"Oh, you don't need to. I'll be fine." I waved him off.
"Don't be stupid. I'll see you out," he repeated.
He was stubborn as always, I thought. He waited for me by the door as I said my goodbyes to everyone. We walked to the car in silence, and I was awfully aware of how wrong it felt. I wanted him to slip his hand in mine, and talk to me like none of this shit happened. And that's when I can point out what's so completely fucked up about me; I want him to show me affection, and on the other hand I'm afraid to take it too far. How unbelievably unfair is that to Jack?
We came to a halt at my car, and I leaned against the hood, not ready to leave his side without saying something. He stood there staring at me, waiting for me to open my mouth. "I best be going," I chickened out.
He nodded his head. "Are you going to be OK driving? You look sleepy." He cleared his throat before taking out a cigarette and lighting it.
He was always putting my safety first, and it was a punch in the gut. "Yeah, I should be fine. Thanks." He blew out smoke, and turned to go, but I stopped him with the first thing my mouth could blurt out. "I was kind of hoping it would snow, so everyone could have a white Christmas."
He turned around with an eyebrow raised. "I guess everyone was hoping for something this Christmas that they didn't get."
"It's only one in the morning, it could still happened." I nervously played with my keys.
He looked up at the sky, and when he spoke I wasn't sure if it was the smoke from his cigarette or his breath from the cold weather. "I'm thinking it'd take a miracle for it to snow."
I nodded my head in agreement. "Jack?"
"Merry Christmas," it came out in a chocked whisper.
He took a step forward then kissed me on the forehead, "Merry Christmas, Willow," His lips moved against my skin and I wanted so badly for them to stay there. The feel of him so close, his affection, his last sign of it, I believed it would kill me.
And before I knew it, he was gone.
It took everything in me to turn around and leave her there. I wanted her to just say it, say she wanted to be with me. And I know I was being a hypocrite because I couldn't say the same thing, but at the end of the day it's really up to her.
I went inside not bothering to watch her leave, and sat back down next to Alec. "Asshole, you were supposed to wait for me." I glared at him, seeing myself dead on the screen.
He shrugged his shoulder, "I figured you wouldn't be coming back."
"Nope." I tried to shrug it off. It was impossible though, because she was always on my mind. Did she want to fucking set up tent there or something?
"What happened in there, man?" Alec asked.
"What happened in where?" I knew where this was going and I didn't want to go there right now, not now, not ever.
"In the office."
I sighed, "Nothing, we've decided to be friends." I didn't need a mirror to know I had a bitter face.
Alec paused the game and threw the control, "You're what?" He ran his hands through his hair. "Who's fucked up idea was that?"
"Mine," I confessed, and it was one of the biggest mistakes I had ever done. I knew now that if I couldn't have her as my girlfriend, I couldn't have her as a friend, it would be like shoving it in my face that something so incredible couldn't be mine.
"That's the most fucked up thing you could possibly do." He told me like I didn't know it myself.
I threw my control, giving up and ran my hands through my head aggressively, "I don't know what to do. If I go after her there's a chance she'll take me back, and there's also a huge chance that she won't, and if I don't go after her I'll be in this fucked up state for the rest of my life." Girls, they were so much trouble.
"Well, I'm glad you finally admitted you're fucked without her." I gave my best friend a look that told him not to fuck with me right now. "Ok, ok… I think that you need to just take that leap."
"And if I fall?"
"There's always someone at the bottom ready to catch you." His eyes were serious as hell, and his words somehow struck home for me.
"That's some serious corny shit there."
He stood up and I followed him to the front door, wondering where he was going. "Get out of my house." It wasn't harsh; it was like he was tired of my shit.
"What?" I laughed. "Does this have to do with my teasing your ability to talk corny?"
"No." He opened the front door and gestured the way out with his arm, "This has to do with the fact that you're moping around my house when you can be out there getting back the girl you love."
I stood there a little dumbstruck; Alec was a wise man. "What do I do?" I had know clue where to go or what to do from there.
"It'll come to you in time, man. You'll just know."
And that's how I found myself in my car, speeding to Willow's house, not caring that the lights went red, or that it was one-thirty in the morning, or that there could be a huge downfall at the end of the tunnel. All I cared about was getting to Willow and telling her how I felt, how I now realized she was the center of my universe.
When the house came into view I thought it'd calm my nerves but it only made me more anxious. I ran up the steps and banged on the front door. "Willow! Open up!" Another few more bangs. "Willow—"
"Jack?" Mani answered the door, his eyes red with sleep. "What's wrong?"
"I need to see Willow." I rested my hands on the doorframe. And told myself to calm down.
Mani, still half asleep, scratched his head, "She's not home, buddy. She came home then left again."
Great! Now I had to go on a wild goose chase. "Where'd she go?" Where would she go at one-thirty in the morning?
"She said something about dropping off a jacket…I'm still half asleep. Aren't you cold, Jack?" Mani gave a pointed look at my attire. And that's when it hit me. I knew where she was.
"I have to go. Thanks Mani."
I turned to go but he stopped me, "You going after her?"
"That's what I intend on doing."
A smile spread across his tired face before saying, "About time."
I sped my way through the streets, my fingers tapping on the wheel apprehensively. I knew when I'd get to see her face all of these nerves would leave and it'd just be her and me.
I couldn't be certain for sure if she was where I thought she was, and I knew I shouldn't get my hopes up. However it was impossible when Willow Hastings was involved.
I pulled up the driveway and my eyes immediately spotted her. Jumping out of the car, I didn't run; I walked steadily to where she sat on the steps. Her arms wrapped around her legs and her head tucked into her lap, wrapped up in my leather jacket. For the first time in my life I was ready to swallow my pride.
I felt his hand run through my hair, "Willow," he whispered with a sigh. I looked up at him, with a tear streaked face. He without delay wiped my tears away with his thumbs. "How long have you been sitting here? You're blue from the cold." He didn't sound surprised to see me sitting on his front steps.
"I—I came to return your jacket," came my lie.
A grim line surfaced on his lips, "I've already told you how bad of a liar you are." He ran his hands through my hair, keeping it away from my face; it instantly calmed me.
"No, really," I sniffed, ashamed of my tears.
"It could have waited for tomorrow," He let out a tired sigh, "Why are you crying?"
I stood up, and rubbed my eyes, even on the steps he was still taller than me. "I'm not."
"Stop lying, God dammit. For once stop trying to run away from what needs to be said." His fists turned into white balls of steam.
He wanted to know what was so badly on my mind? Fine he could have it and take it with him, because frankly I was tired and fed up with feeling this way "You want to know what's really on my mind?" I let out an outrageous scoff, "You, Jack Hale is what's constantly on my mind! You have no idea how awful it feels when your life is finally perfect and you can't enjoy it because the person you want to enjoy it with isn't there!" I don't know where I found the strength to say it. Perhaps it was so tired of holding it in, the cap on the bottle popped open.
He took a step up, towering me even more. "You think I don't understand? I've been miserable without you because you won't let me in! I've been chasing after you for so long, I don't know what to do anymore. And because of this my life is fucked up in everyway possible. Because of you I can't go out because everything reminds me of you!" My heart gave a little flutter knowing he felt the same way. "And don't make it sound like me not being with you is my own doing; you're the one you called it quits." He pointed an accusing finger at me.
"And you agreed!" I shot back. Why did we always have to fight when it came to talking about the truth?
"Come on, Willow," he was exhausted, "you know that didn't mean shit." No. I didn't. I had a tendency of taking everything Jack said to heart.
"I'm so sorry," I murmured, afraid of what was ahead of us.
"Sorry?" he shouted, "that's all you can give me?"
"No. I can give you all of me, but I'm scared," My voiced sounded so much clearer and louder in the crisp dark night.
"Screw being scared. Do you want me or not?" I was waiting for the neighbours to come outside and pound his ass. And I was hoping they would; it'd give me an excuse to avoid his questions.
I sucked in a deep breath, and promised myself I wouldn't hold back anything anymore; everything that was on my mind and in my heart needed to be said. "Yes. Do you have any idea how much you left me wanting you even more after you kissed me in the office? Saying that was our last kiss scared the crap out of me, I don't think I could live another day without knowing I can't kiss you when I feel like it." I ran my hands through my hair, frustrated, and feeling like we were getting nowhere. "I've been a complete wreck without you. It's not the matter of wanting you, Jack, it's the part that I know I need you, that frightens me." The sharp cold wind hit my face, and I wouldn't be surprised if it froze the teardrops running down my cheeks. Nevertheless, the pain didn't matter as long as Jack was there.
"That doesn't have to be our last kiss. Stop running and stay." He pleaded, and there was no doubt this boy care for me.
"But I'm the girl who isn't supposed to believe in love," I stated lamely. And what I realised just then, was that I always had believed in love, and my problem was that I feared it.
"No. You're the girl who fears it," He stole the words right off of my tongue.
He took another step, closing the distance between us, and then rested his hands in the nook of my neck, holding me in place, insisting me to look into his eyes. "I want all of you, and I can't have that if you don't let me in," he whispered. His eyes looked right through me and into my heart.
"How do I let you in?" Fear shook my voice, and tears blurred my sight.
He leaned his forehead on mine and made sure he was looking in my eyes when he said, "You have to take a leap of chance."
"And what if I fall?" I didn't want to go back to the broken girl I had become immune to being; I wanted to be happy.
"Someone once told me that there will always be someone there to catch you, I want to be that guy." His voice, eyes and everything were dead serious, and then his signature smile appeared. "Listen to me, you have me speaking like Alec with all this corny stuff."
I let out a chocked laugh, "It's nice," I admitted. "Though I don't think I could live with it all the time."
His blue eyes seemed to turn a darker shade that I thought wasn't possible. "Are you saying you're prepared to live with my occasional corniness?"
"I'm saying I want to, I'm not saying I know how to, though," I own upped. And that was another thing that scared me; what if I tried and ended up failing him? "I don't want to go through this and have my heart broken at the end of it all, or even worse your heart, and I can't stand to see you hurt, because I love you and these passed two weeks have been hell without you… my life sucks not having you...now I'm blubbering," I sighed and composed myself, "what I'm trying to say is that at the end of that day I want to be with you, however, I'm sorry if I screw it up in the near future."
He pulled back and raised his eyebrows in shock, and then started laughing. "What'd you just say?" Great, he was laughing at me.
"Don't laugh, asshole. I was trying to tell you how I feel!" I pushed him in his chest and he wrapped his hands around my wrist.
"I wasn't laughing at you, I was laughing at the fact that you didn't realize you admitted you love me." He pulled me closer to him.
My mouth gaped, "I did not," I tried ripping my wrists from his grip.
"You did. You know how I can prove it?" A little snowflake landed on my nose and he wiped it away. "You admitting you love me would be one damn of a miracle and I think you just got your wish," He looked up at the raven sky and I copied his actions; and there as we stood, snow began to fall.
I look up at him and smiled, "You said it'd take a miracle for it to snow." I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him.
"I guess we both got what we wished for," I felt his hot breath in my ear; it sent shivers down my spine all at the same time transferring fire through my veins.
I pulled away from his embrace to look at him in the eyes, "What now?" I asked him.
He grabbed a handful of his leather jacket and pulled me towards him again. I smiled as his hair collected snowflakes. He wrapped his arms around my waist, his hands resting at the small of my back. "You let me love you," his lips moved against my cheek as he spoke the words that would forever echo my heart.
I stood still for a while, collection my feelings and thoughts, and for the first time, I said 'fuck it' to my fears, I wanted to take that leap. I answered him by meeting his lips. A smile was felt against my own and I immediately melted into his arms as one of his hands tangled itself in my wild hair.
The kiss turned forceful and rough; I felt his tongue enter my mouth and find my own. My hands with a mind of their own slid under his shirt; at the feel of his toned stomach I noticed just how much I missed it. I heard him laugh as he backed me towards the front door, "I think we're going to need to take this inside," he murmured between kisses. He didn't know how right he was.
I felt my back meet the cold door, but it didn't stop us from kissing. One of my hands left his chest and made it's way down to his waist. Feeling bold, I ran my hands over the bulge growing in his jeans and received a moan that escaped in my mouth. A proud smile appeared on my lips as my hands continued its journey to his pocket where his keys were. "Open," I shoved the keys into his hand, eager to get inside. And by the sound of his frustrated grunts when he couldn't get the key in the hole, I was sure he wanted to get inside just as much as me.
As soon as the door opened, Jack's lips found mine again. He bent down and wrapped his arm under my bottom and lifted me up; my legs, on impulse wrapped around his waist, and I was thrust up against the wall again with his erection well known between my legs.
Before I knew it, his hands were tearing off the leather jacket and my top under it. I thought I heard Nirvana in the background give a faint bark, causing me to laugh. "Shh, buddy. This isn't something you want to see." I laughed along with him as we watched Nirvana walk into one of the spare rooms. He'd taught him well.
His mouth found my neck where he kissed and sucked, for sure leaving his mark. And I had reached the point where I just needed him. "Take me to your room." I whispered into his ear before nibbling on the lobe.
I released myself from his hold and started to back into his room, his hands never left my bare waist. His eyed stayed glued to mine, and I could honestly say I felt safe with him there, like the world could be coming to an end and it wouldn't matter because he was there with me.
Once on his bed he helped me out of my jeans and shoes, and I watched him, amused, as he eagerly kicked off his shoes, shirt and jeans as well. Cool sheets slid against my hot body as I moved back so my head was resting on his pillows. He leaned over me, his forearms resting on the sheets so he didn't place all his weight on me. The feel of his hands exploring my body made the heat between my legs grow.
I arched my chest allowing him access to unclip my bra, however I didn't seemed to notice as I was occupied with other tactile sensations running through my body. The feel of his fingers lightly skimming the inside of my thighs like a feather's touch, left me biting my lip, and the way he teased the soft skin below my breasts with his tongue, only to amaze me with his skills when his lips closed over one of my taut nipples to pull it into his mouth and sweep his tongue over it. I moaned from the pleasure and encourage him to settle between my legs by spreading them.
I thrust my hips against his, needing the fiction to release some of the heat building within my womanhood. "That feels good," I whispered as his lips came down on mine.
"Fuck. You have no idea," he told me.
One of his hands snaked their way up my thigh and over my heat causing my grip in his hair to tighten. "Then give me an idea," I pleaded with him.
I felt his hand slip under my lace underwear, feeling just how wet he made me. "Are you sure?" his lips moved against my skin right below my navel, causing the butterflies in the pit of my stomach to go wild.
Sure? How could he even ask me that? "I have never been so sure about something in my entire life." Sure I shook with nerves, but my excitement and passion overwhelmed the nerves. And I knew Jack would take care of me. "I want you inside me, now," I confessed.
A mischievous smirk appeared on his lips when he said, "Not just yet," one of his fingers hooked my underwear pulling it down, and discarding it from my body. And I was left with a gasp of a reply as his head leaned down and his tongue darted out to taste me. He knew exactly how to make the heat in my stomach unfurl and broaden to every atom in my body. With every stroke, and perfect lethargic circle between my thighs, he left me spreading and raising my hips, rasping out inaudible encouragements. He pushed me to the edge of climax, only to slow it down again and start it back up again.
"Jack… please," I moaned. I felt myself ready to let go and let the climax over take me. And then he finally surged up, pulled his briefs off, and pulled himself over me once again. As he finally thrust himself inside of me my fingernails dug into his tanned shoulder blades, and my chest started to heave.
He rested his arms beside my head on each side before leaning down to captivate my mouth with his lips and tongue, his thrusts become quicker and stronger. My hands slid down his body to his narrow waist urging him to go deeper as I raised my hips with every thrust. "Harder," I moaned.
"Fuck yes," He groaned out. The beaded sweat on our bodies made it so much easier to connect as one. I found his lips again tugging at his bottom lip aggressively. Our hearts raced and our breath quickened as he pushed inside of me with a bruising force.
I bit down on his collarbone enjoying the pain and pleasure he gave me. I felt myself shatter, come undone and apart as my climax hit. Jack came with me, both of us moaning and trying to replace our breathing. Even after we were done catching our breaths, we kept still, Jack looking down at me with a satisfied smirk. He leaned down and kissed my cheek before slowly placing feathery kisses down my jaw until he found my lips. Somewhere in the middle of our kiss he flipped us over so that I was now lying on top of him. I pulled away from him, to look down at his flawless face. "Well… what a merry, merry Christmas for us," I tired to lighten the mood.
His body shook under me with laughter. My hair cascaded around his face and I flipped it to one side. "You've got that right." His hand lightly traced up and down the curve of my back.
"What now," I asked.
"You know what happened the last time you said that, right?" His voice was husky. So damn sexy, I thought.
I playfully hit his shoulder, "No really, Jack." I traced his lips with my finger, "I want to know where we go from here."
He cleared his throat, "If you'll do my the honors, I'd like it for you to be my girlfriend."
An unstoppable smile appeared on my lips, and I felt lighter like the weight of the world has just been lifted off of me. I'm not saying I wasn't completely empty of all my fears, but I knew with Jack he'd eventually prove all my concerns wrong. "I'd love to." I pecked him on the lips.
He blew out a relieved sigh, "That's good, because you lying in my arms and to say no would be really awkward." He raised his eyebrow and bit his bottom lip.
I laughed and settled into his embrace" Jack?" I concentrated on tracing lazy patterns on his chest with my finger, too shy to look him in the eyes.
"Mmmm?" He looked at me with hooded eyes.
"I'm sorry it took me so long to admit I was in love with you," I buried my head in the nook of his neck and shoulder.
"I'm sorry I didn't swallow my pride and go after you that night."
I looked up at him and smiled, "You're here now, and that's all that matters," I murmured. Because at the end of it all, we both were able to settle everything, and I knew that all the tears and heartache was worth it.
"Like it or not, I'm going to be here for forever," He sealed his promise with a kiss.
And I knew as soon as those words escaped his lips, I was going to be perfectly fine. I had a family; I had the boy of my dreams, I had everything I never thought I'd have.
AN: Okay, wow. I was so reluctant in posting this, because I'm sad to admit the story is coming to an end. I truly do love these characters. And I'm sad to inform my readers that I think this will be the last chapter before the epilogue. I just feel like it wouldn't be right to drag Willow's and Jack's story out. Onto good news, I'm excited to write the epilogue, and all questions will be answered in that chapter.
Also, I'm happy to report that I will be working on a new story after this one, so keep an eye on me.
Thank you for reading, reviewing, and putting up with my late updates. You mean the world to me!