103.9 Radio Dead Man


Hello, New Rock City! It's your boy, DJ L-Roy, bringing you fresh tracks 24/7/365 so you can jam and jive! I'm here with my right-hand man, Frazer…

Frazer: Yo.

L-Roy:…and my lovely assistant, Emma.

Emma: Rock on.

L-Roy: Today we've got a couple of special guests with us – a pair of New Rockians – am I sayin' that right? New Rockians? – who are here to give us their thoughts on current events.

Frazer: Think the term's "Rockites", Boss.

L-Roy: A little slow, aren't we Frazer? Anyway, let's have a warm welcome for our guests, Arc Howard and Katie Noether, a couple of freshmen from New Rock High.

Arc: It's a pleasure. More or less.

Katie: Wow, I can't believe I'm on the radio! Hey, you guys aren't gonna make my voice sound weird or anything, are you?

Arc: I think you can pretty much handle that yourself.

Katie: Can you try not to be a jerkass on air? Oh, can I – can I say that on air? Jerkass?

L-Roy: You just did, didn't you?

Katie: Oh, okay then.

L-Roy: So, these two here are a few of the winners from our Ten Score Contest – we draw the number of a lucky pair of listeners, and if they answer our questions correctly, they win a prize.

Emma: Two hundred in cold hard cash.

L-Roy: On the money. So why don't you love-birds tell our listeners out there a little about yourselves?

Arc: All right. I'm Arc Howard, age fifteen. I just started high school recently, and so far it's been a breeze – getting A's left and right. My hobbies? Motorcycles, reading, yo-yo tricks, exploring the city…nothing too special.

Emma: What's your favorite TV show?

Arc: Favorite show…The Price is Right.

L-Roy: Really?

Katie: Really?

Arc: What? You have to admit, it's damn exciting seeing people nail a dollar on the Showcase wheel. And there's something about that announcer's voice that always puts a smile on my face.

Katie: Oooh, I didn't know you had a man-crush! How cute!

Arc: Not a man crush. Man-respect. At any rate, that's about everything you need to know about me. Well, apparently, I'm dead…or so I've hea-

L-Roy: Oooooh, you must be some kinda genius or something, then. So, how 'bout something a little more…personal?

Arc: I don't like where this conversation is going.

Katie: Come on, Arc – play along! If it'll get us some money, we might as well, right?

Arc: Fine, fine. What do you want to know now?

L-Roy: Well I see you're rockin' the emo style pretty well –

Arc: Not emo.

L-Roy: I mean, you've got the fringe over one eye, the black hair, the tight, stylish clothes – let's see, what else?

Frazer: He's really skinny, Boss.

L-Roy: Oh, yeah, he is skinny.

Katie: And short! Don't forget short!

Arc: Y-you're half a foot shorter than I am! Who are you to talk?!

Emma: Aw, don't feel too bad. I mean, you're kinda cute. The girls must be all over you.

Arc: Not really. Just this girl.

L-Roy: So, why go with that style?

Arc: I guess it's to stand out. People usually take notice when somebody's trying to be different; since I'm not exactly the most handsome guy around, I figured I might as well take a different approach. On top of that, I hear that there are some guys with skin so nice, it sparkles like diamonds – and all the girls are after him…or something like that.

L-Roy: So you're emo to get some fangirls?

Arc: First of all, not emo. Second of all, I do it because I feel like it. Although, it'd be to my advantage to get some fangirls on my side. Never underestimate the power of a hardcore fan.

L-Roy: Gotcha. So why don't you introduce your friend here?

Arc: This is Katie. She's my girlfriend – we've been together for…almost two years now. We may go back and forth with our jokes, but she's my partner, and I can't imagine a world without her.

Katie: Aw, Arc…

Arc: Now if only she'd grow some boobs.

Katie: Good thing we're on air – because I don't want anyone to see what I'm about to do to you!

Arc: Hey, calm down, it was just a joke.

Katie: But you're always saying stuff like that! Don't you know that a woman doesn't need big boobs to have worth as a woman? She can be totally fine without them! Besides, it doesn't bother me at all, you know!

Arc: Then why do you look like you're about to cry?

Emma: She's got a point. I hear there are some guys who are into girls like you. Like, really into them.

Katie: S-stop that! You're starting to creep me out…

L-Roy: So Katie, why don't you tell us something about yourself?

Katie: No problem! I'm fourteen, and in the same class as Arc. My special skills are drawing and painting, and playing the guitar, and rollerblading – oh, even though nobody really does it anymore – and my favorite color is pink, and GO PIRATES! BEAT THOSE PHANTOM BASTARDS INTO THE GROUND! Oh, and my favorite food is a triple ultimate cheeseburger – hey, I could go for one of those right now –

Arc: Calm down. You're embarrassing yourself.

Katie: I think it's my turn to speak, not yours. Oh, and my favorite TV show is House, by the way. Hugh Laurie is so cool – I bet House is based on Hugh Laurie's life! Actually, now that I think about it, he reminds me of you, Arc.

Arc: Why's that?

Katie: It's simple – because you're both snarky jerkasses!

Arc: For a second, I thought you'd say something profound, like "You both want to be doctors!" or "You're both misunderstood geniuses!"

Katie: Hey, I call 'em like I see 'em.

Arc: You know, you're taking up valuable air time – air time that could go toward winning that money.

Katie: Oh crap, you're right! Come on, let's get on with it! We've got a game to play! Get hyped, Arc! Get HYPED!

Arc: I'm hyped, I'm hyped! J-just stop shaking me!

L-Roy: Okay, so it looks like our two competitors today are ready to throw down with our challenge. So here are the rules: I ask three questions, and if you can answer two out of three, then you win two hundred dollars – pretty nice score, huh?

Frazer: I could sure use two hundred dollars, Boss.

L-Roy: So are the two of you ready to go?

Arc: Ready and waiting.

Katie: Bring it!

L-Roy: Okay then, question the FIRST: what mammal has the strongest bite?

Arc: What in the…what kind of a random question is that?

Katie: So you don't know it?

Arc: Well I know crocodiles have a pretty strong bite, but they're not mammals…crap, I don't have a clue. What about you?

Katie: If it was a marine animal, I'd know – but I guess we're out of options. Wanna guess?

Arc: Might as well. All right, what do you want to say?

Katie: Lolcats! Everybody loves lolcats!

Arc: …Our final answer is…ugh, lolcats.

L-Roy: Ooooh, sorry kids. The correct answer is the Tasmanian Devil.

Katie: But…the lolcats love cheeseburgers…

L-Roy: All right, if the two of you want the money, you're going to have to get the next two questions right. Think you can do it?

Arc: It's not a matter of "can we do it"; we will do it.

Emma: Ooooh, looks like someone's playing for real now.

L-Roy: Okay then, next question: in 2004, who set the record for being the world's fastest eater, after eating 53.5 hot dogs in twelve minutes?

Arc: A food question, huh? All right, Katie – it's in your hands no-

Katie: Takeru Kobayashi.

L-Roy: That is CORRECT!

Arc: Holy…you didn't even blink!

Katie: Of course I didn't. When it comes to food, I'm an expert; it's only natural for me to know all the big names in the culinary world. Aren't you glad you've got me as a partner?

Emma: Little Katie's evened up the score – you'd better start pulling your own weight, Arc.

Arc: Y-yeah…I guess so.

L-Roy: All right, that leaves us with our FINAL question…for two hundred dollars…WHAT is dry ice made of?

Katie: Oooh, I should know this one! I had an ice cream cake for my last birthday party. Remember that, Arc? It was sooooooo good…man, I'm starting to get hungry –

Arc: Focus, please.

Katie: What? Sorry, I wasn't paying attention – I was thinking about that cake.

Arc: Forget it, I've got this. Dry ice is made out of carbon dioxide, solidified through reduced pressure and extreme cold.

Katie: Nerd.

L-Roy: That is…CORRECT! Nerd.

Katie: Well I'm glad someone's on my side.

L-Roy: All right, as promised, here's your money – two hundred big ones. Any plans on what to spend it on?

Arc: Hmmm, actually, I've had my eye on a few new books; maybe I'll –

Katie: Food, and lots of it! Right now! Right freaking now! Let's see, a few burgers, a couple of strawberry shakes, large fries, fruit pies, maybe some chicken nuggets – no, chicken strips…oh, we've GOT to pick up some tater tots…ooh, let's get the Kid's Meal, I wanna collect those toys they have, they look so cool, and…

Arc: Can't we, I don't know, save it for some other meal?

Katie: But I'm hungry now!

Frazer: Growing girls have to eat.

Katie: Yes, exactly! Thank you, Mr. Frazer! Now come on, we've got a lot of restaurants to get to before the sun goes down!

Arc: Hey, hey! Let go of my arm – you're about to break it in two!

Katie: Don't worry, once we get some milkshakes in you, you'll be nice and healthy!

L-Roy: Any last words for our lovely city?

Katie: Keep rockin', New Rock!

Arc: Seize the day. And…try to eat healthy…

L-Roy: All right, we're gonna cut to a quick commercial break, and then we'll load up some tracks for our Rush Hour Rush-Down. So stay put, and get ready to bang those heads. This is 103.9 Radio Dead Man – and you know you love these beats.

On the next episode…

[Arc, please…

I want to hear your voice…]

A monster, unbound. Creatures, unleashed. A world, on the cusp of destruction – in just a matter of time, the very planet will be no more. It's do or die for the human race!

With the Ghost Emperor running free, a small group of warriors, guided by destiny, by order, and by a certain white-haired punk, hatches a plan to put a stop to Bellanger. And Maddy, trapped in the eye of the storm, searches desperately for answers – all while the people are cut down by ghastly forces, one by one…

And is Arc really dead? Or have the dice of fate rolled in his favor?

Matrix 2: crush x chaos

Coming Soon!

[get ready for the breakdown]