I'm not obsessed.

I just like watching you sleep.

I just like watching you at all, really.

Everywhere you go.

Okay, maybe that's a little creepy,

But it isn't obsession.

I mean, at least I don't take pictures—

Oh, wait…

Yes I do.

Well, obsessed people steal souvenirs from their targets,

From the ones they love.

I've never stolen from you—

Well…

There was that report card…

And your necklace…

And yeah, I have your hair tie,

But I swear that's it!

At least I haven't broken into your house—

Oh wait…never mind.

But I'm not obsessed!

I haven't sent you letters or gifts signed,

"Your secret admirer,

Your one true love."

(I would have if the store

Had your size in black.)

But at least I never--!

Wait, yes I did.

I haven't--! Oh, wait…

Well, I--!

Damn.

Okay. So maybe I'm obsessed.

And maybe it's getting out of hand.

And maybe you should run…

Oh, and maybe you should get a new toothbrush.

Don't ask why.