Disclaimer: This is an original story that I have thought up.
Warning: This story contains boys love, and swearing. Read at your own discretion.
Note: This story just came to mind early this morning and so I decided to write it out. Not sure if I'll continue it or if I'll just keep it as a one-shot. Let me know what you think.
In my faith my transgression is considered one of the worst possible and a few hundred years ago was punishable by death. Nowadays they are only allowed to excommunicate me, much to my father's disappointment. If he could have it his way he'd put the torch to me personally. So what did I do that is so horrific my own family would want me burned alive? As my mother puts it I am not attracted to the right kind of people. In other words I am gay.
I'm sure most people wouldn't view my condition as something horrific or depraved. Times have changed and homosexuals are considered pretty normal now. The problem is that I live in a community that is still very closed minded. The last gay person to live here was essentially run out of town. I can only expect the same kind of thing to happen to me. I've already been thrown out of my house. My mother said not to worry and that she'd get my father to change his mind, but I know nothing will come of it. I'm a fag and Jesse Sanders doesn't have a son who's a fag.
So what options do I have now that living at home is no longer one of them? So far I've only come up with three. Since I am eighteen I have the option of joining the military, though those guys still aren't all that keen on people like me. The next option is to go live with my Uncle Jared. He's my mother's older brother and he said I could come stay with him if I ever wanted to. Unfortunately, I have no idea how he feels about the whole homosexuality thing and he might revoke his invitation once he finds out. The third option open to me is the one my father is most in favor for, and that is erasing my existence.
I guess that is why I'm here on the dock overlooking the river. It's not as if I've actually made the decision to kill myself, but if I do make that decision I might as well use the most convenient way around here. Getting shot would kind of suck and the noise would draw too much attention. Getting stabbed would suck even more and the potential bleed out time before I expire is a factor I'd rather not have to deal with. Hanging myself would be extremely tricky and I'd rather not have that kind of hassle. There is no way I could get my hands on any alcohol so death by alcohol poisoning wouldn't work, and the strongest drug I could get around here is a couple Tylenol PMs which also rules out an overdose. So yeah, death by drowning would be the way to go... not that I've decided or anything.
"The water's cold this time of year," a voice behind me commented. "If you jumped in now it'd feel like thousands of tiny knives piercing you all over. Your body would lock up, your heart would pound, and your lungs would feel like they were exploding." The man, whoever he was, came next to me and leaned against the railing. He took a long drag from his cigarette and stared out at the river. "Sure a part of you would fight against the water, but eventually your limbs would give out and you'd lose your ability to stay above the surface. It would only take a few more seconds; enough time for your lungs to give their last screams, and your heart its last beats." He glanced at me and smirked. "Then you'd be dead. Your body wouldn't sink, not with the current as swift as it is. No, you'd instead be whisked down the stream until you got to the dam a few miles from here. There it'd get stuck for a while until someone eventually discovered it. By then you'd probably be all blue and bloated; perhaps torn in a few places from being bashed against the dam so many times. What a sight you'd be then! It'd definitely be a closed casket funeral." Gruesome speech finished, he took another puff from his cigarette.
I wanted to say something to this guy; perhaps deny that I was thinking about the very subject he'd brought up. However, the feeling I got from this seemingly ordinary guy was that he was anything but ordinary. The way he stared at me gave me shivers, and not the happy fun time ones either. It was like he could see right through me. So instead of denying anything I took a different approach. "Yeah?" I scoffed. "Well it's not like I have any other decent options available. Besides, the water isn't that bad."
The man snickered, making me blush. Why did it feel like he was looking down on me? "Listen kid, I'm sure your life isn't all that and a bucket of chicken right now, but I highly doubt whatever you're going through is worth throwing away your life."
I glared at him. "What the hell would you know? You're just some stranger! What right do you have to come over here and talk down to me like you know absolutely everything there is to know about anything? You don't know me or my situation so don't act like I'm just some depressed kid screaming for attention!" I climbed on top of the railing. "You don't know. You don't have a fucking clue."
"All right, all right. I'm sorry for making you feel belittled. Now will you please come down from there? You're gonna draw attention to yourself if you stay up like that you know." He was right, but I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of getting his way. I sat on the railing instead. He smirked again. "Fine then." He took one last drag from his cigarette before flicking it into the water. "So what's so bad about your life that you've simply got to die?"
I frowned and looked away. "It's not that I've done something wrong, it's more like I am something wrong. And because I am this… thing I am no longer allowed in my house. My father hates me and wishes I were dead, and my mother is conflicted because she's disgusted with me but thinks that I can still be cured of my… condition."
The man considered what I said a moment before pulling out a new cigarette and lighting up. "So you're gay? That's hardly worth killing yourself over."
I snorted at how casual he was about the whole thing. Apparently he wasn't from around here. If he were he'd be singing an entirely different tune. "Yeah well tell that to my father. When he found out he nearly took me out himself, he was so irate. He kept going on and on about what a repulsive being I was and how I should be burned alive for my sins against God. My mother isn't that extreme, but she has no qualms with denying my existence if I can't be cured of my "problem". The rest of this town is the same way."
The man exhaled. "That's rough. So what do you plan to do?" The look I gave him made it obvious that I thought he was stupid. "Oh right... forgot for a second. Okay, so what else could you do besides kick the bucket?"
What was it with this guy and bucket sayings? "Join the army or live with my Uncle. The first one is out cause not only are people like me not really welcome, but I kind of don't like the idea of taking someone else's life."
"But taking your own life is perfectly okay." I pointedly ignored his sarcasm. "So why don't you stay with your Uncle?"
"Because he probably has the same viewpoint that everyone else in my blasted family has! He probably thinks that gays are just nasty, messed up creepers who get off to anyone of the same sex without any regard to age, ethnicity, or even familial bonds. Once he finds out I'm gay, which my father will make certain he does, Uncle Jared will want to have nothing to do with me as well. I'm not out of high school yet so there isn't much I can do on my own to support myself, and there aren't really any people I can rely on for help. Everyone else in my family is already disgusted with my presence and those outside my family don't care for me either; most wish I'd just disappear. So why not just forgo the struggle and do everyone a favor?"
The man finished his cigarette and flicked the butt away. He surprised me when he smiled softly at me. It was dazzling and made my face heat up a little. I fought to keep the blush down, but stopped entirely when his hand grasped my chin to hold my attention. From that point on I concentrated only on the movement of his mouth and the words that flowed from it.
"Jason, do not assume that everyone is against you. The world is not that unkind. You have been dealt a harsh hand, but there are people you know who love you and will support you no matter what. I am certain that your Uncle is one of those people. Do not be so quick to doubt him." I had just noticed how wonderfully warm this man's amber eyes were when equally warm lips encased my own. The kiss only lasted a few seconds, but it still left me breathless and wanting when he pulled away. Slightly dazed, I barely registered him lifting me off the railing and back onto the deck.
He smirked at me, and brought his mouth by my ear. His voice gave me shivers, but this time they were the good kind. "Go to your Uncle's place. I'm sure you'll do just fine there."
It took me a moment to realize I had closed my eyes. When I finally did reopen them the mysterious man was nowhere to be found. I still had apprehensive feelings in regards to my family situation, but now those feelings were somewhat bearable. His words really did help. I would give my Uncle a chance and try my luck living at his place.
It wasn't until much later when I was on a bus and reviewing the entire encounter in my head for the hundredth time that a couple of what should have been important and apparent questions popped into my brain. Who was that man? How did he know my name? Why had he kissed me? Remembering the taste of cigarettes and pumpkin spice I decided that none of that really mattered. Though if I met that man again I'd be sure to ask, as well as a few... other things.
Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. ^~^