The Fictionpress Writer's Guide


Unnecessary fact about me: I'm twenty-three. Started here when I was nineteen.

Fat story skinny, I'm getting "old." As much as I like to be an asshole, truth is, I feel some disturbing urge to help you people do well here. I know more about this site than I ever wanted to. It's time I passed it on.

This will cover everything from how to get reviews, to basic writing skills, to whatever else I feel like vomiting on you.

And most importantly, you'll learn how to write with style. Because in today's age of innocent ignorance, if style goes solo it's adored, but substance alone makes everybody . . . bored. You want both, I know. But you have to start somewhere.

Like I sometimes say, "Flash blinds the mind."

Think I'm joking? Look at the most famous entertainers of any medium. Not one of them lacks style, even if it's intentionally stupid or annoying. But many lack skill. Just mastering your craft on a basic level is a start, but it isn't enough. Especially on this site.

We'll cover all that. Everything you need to succeed.

But first, we'll begin with a poem I wrote, even though I'm still a non-poet to the death. It's title: Fictionpressed.


I know you're so
Anxious to view
A story review

Whether the count is
One or none
Don't let it get to you

Stay tough
Remember that being yourself
Is good enough

Don't change your style
Conform or reform
Once in a while
Get a few more reviews

Just smile
Go wild
Never settle for being
Meek or mild

Be you
Be free of fear

When here
Don't try to find success
Define success

Set your own goals
Pave your own road

From the heart
Right from the start

Give your passion
Total control of the

Let the words flow
Let 'em go

Then your pot of gold
Satisfaction or Gratification
Whatever you treasure
Meet your writer's soul
Under the rainbow

Someday you'll know what I mean

Author's Note:

I've never written anything so equally sincere and corny in my life.

Next chapter is titled "How to Get Reviewed." It's a full blown essay, no poetry. If you've ever struggled with getting reviews, check it out.