This will be short and sweet, because I can't be arsed to write anything massive in this currently.

Hi, I'm Luke, I'm 15, and I'm from the UK. Not all of us talk like Hugh Grant you know. If you don't believe me, go on holiday to a delightful place called, 'Newcastle'. Actually don't, I was joking, its horrible, just like the rest of the UK. I'm also Welsh, which makes me incredibly cool.

In case you don't know (you don't), I've decided to call this biography (or rant book), 'The Difficult Second Attempt', due to the fact I've already got one of these, but I think everyone was scared at the length, so didn't want to begin. I did have one loyal reader, who I hope will still read this one as well, but its not enough. I want to set the world alight (sometimes literally).

So, in the upcoming chapters you will be hearing about many exciting aspects of my life, such as 'Subway Sandwich Woman', 'Drunken Lamp-post Man', as well as, 'Blokes who said I had a big penis for a 10 year old'. When I was 14. God.

So, I will be leaving you on that note, and if I keep to my word, I will start writing this properly tomorrow. This is just a bit of an introduction. If you want to know more, please begin reading my other story, which I began when I was 13, so sorry for the occasional terrible nonsense. Many of the things I have talked about here are explained in depth there. By the time you get to about chapter 5, you might even like it (although I doubt it).

Luke going. Luke gone. 2010.