the invitation had the most graceful script
that i guessed you could ever come up with
it was so pretty & delicious yet so archaic
it had the finest paper & the darkest ink
i'm not surprised my tears couldn't wash
the words
away

but i swore i'd wear black that night
it wouldn't clash with my violet bruises
nor my tears streaked with black eyeliner
black would be going along the very best
with my pallid expression & sordid smile
waking you
up

but i wore red instead
knowing it's your least favourite colour
aware of the sickened twist of your lips
drinking in the sight of me with disdain
so
maybe that's why i chose this red dress
maybe that's why i rebel although passively
maybe that's why blood is thicker than water
(or my salty sultry tears)

her skin is alabaster
her lips redder than my blood-red dress
her arms around your neck to asphyxiate
her eyes practically scream lust & infidelity
yet
there you are and you let her in
you let her ease into your arms
like she's a little weak fragile thing
(fragile's not her but me & my heart)

i don't know why you insist
on still seeing my frozen face
when we both know very well
that what we have is already completely
OVER

because i know i'm no longer
the blabbering idiot you know
and that timid weak selfless girl
whom you have pushed against a wall is
GONE

ah yes, yes, she
yeah, that girl
SHE
has left
behind a shell
& caused a riot

then i see your surprise
why are you so baffled
bewilderment doesn't
suit you like arrogance does
(would you keep it in mind?)

don't you dare keep talking to me
i want you gonegonegone
so why, why do you still stay
with me after me upon me within me?
(don't you keep following me, love)

i wanna hatehatehate you
but end up loving you even more
how to rid myself off of your chains
in form of elegant suits naive prayers
(suave kisses & shrewdly lusting gazes)

oh goddamnit
i honestly don't
KNOW.