-Lake of Warm Remorse-

I sit by the lake, staring into the cyan coloured depths.
I scarcely feel the granular earth under my palms.
The blend of past with present sends a harsh piquant taste into my mouth.
My ears oblivious to the rhythmic tapping of a woodpecker,
and to the raucous rattling of a nearby train.
My senses are sluggish, blank eyes stare past the verdant land.
My reality is still in this world, but my mind dwells in reminiscence.
I'm remembering every moment we spent together.
Our childhood dreams of joining the Navy,
running to the pet store together after school.
During rainy seasons, we would watch television at home,
or talk about catching some love experience at formal parties.
Laughing with friends in a vociferous classroom,
teasing each other's cooking when it turns out just barely palatable.
Our camaraderie drowns me in a rush of euphoria,
only to send me plummeting down when the truth cruelly strikes me once again.
That was all history; you are not here anymore.
My heart is overflowing with regret;
I should have forgiven you when I had the chance.
I was aware you had never been angry, for you always understood me.
You were the kindest person I knew.
No matter what you never placed yourself before others.
We were completely different, yet at the same time like sisters.
If only I could give you this life, or just see you once more.
I miss you.
I need to tell you – I'm sorry.