Sometimes loneliness has a way of creeping up on you when you least expect it. Sometimes it comes just at the highest point of your happiness. You could very well be happy living your life, until you realize that something's missing. It could also happen at night,when the atmosphere is so dark and quiet that you can't help but reflect. It could happen with you feeling sleepy and you lie in bed, only to toss and turn and contepmlate on how miserable your life has turned out. Or, if you're like me, it could happen just when you're doing something simple and mundane.
It happened in the shower.
It was early in the morning, probably around seven, and I unwillingly dragged my sleepy self from bed and hopped in the shower. I had opening shift at work, and so I had no choice but to get up. I wasn't even thinking about anything. I couldn't even feel the warm water that was coming from the shower. All I wanted was to shower, get dressed, and catch the bus to work. Just as I was about to reach for the shampoo, boom, it hit me.
I was, and still am, alone.
Not alone in the most literal sense of the word, but more like alone on the inside. Sure, on the surface I lived a perfectly normal life. My parents are still married, I had a happy childhood, I had decent grades that would get me to a good University. Though not popular in school, I had a good set of friends and no enemies that I know of. My siblings and I mostly got along, and I had a job that covers just enough of my expenses. I was living a good life. I had no reason to complain.
But still, there it was, the feeling of emptiness inside. Even as I got out of the shower and smiled at myself in the mirror, even as I got dressed and chose my favorite pair of red socks, and even as I sat on the bus listening to my happy songs on the way to work.
I went about work as usual, being pleasant to customers, serving coffee, food, cleaning up. Nothing special happened. And sadly, I realized that that was how my life had turned out. A series of nothing special, nothing memorable events. I wasn't sad, I wasn't happy either, but I was okay. Just okay. It was like I was living on autopilot mode.
Even worse, I realized that I have been living like this for quite a while now. At first glance, I seemed happy. I was still the same Jess as before, still cracking jokes, laughing, smiling. Maybe that's how we cover up our emptiness: by laughing. Maybe laughing so hard and out loud is one way of pretending that we were fine. And sometimes, if we were really convincing enough, if we were too good of an actor enough, we might even believe it ourselves.
A/N: Hello everyone! Somehow you have stumbled upon this story. Coincidence? I think not. You read it for a reason, just like I wrote it for a reason. What do you think of the prologue? Are you raring to read more? I'd love to get your feedback, good or bad. Thanks and I hope to see your name frequently on the reviews portion :)