this is the one i so desperately
don't want to write. this last piece
that will finish one year's memoir
of the man that changed my life

is proving itself impossible.
the words just won't come.

it's like going to sleep
that night in june.
going to sleep meant when i opened my eyes
you'd be gone. if i write this piece,
it's real. our year is over.
& now i have to move on.

i'm not ready to let go, not yet.
i still love you. i still miss you.

& i still don't know how to go on without you.

a/n: I still wake up wanting to scream
"why the fuck did you die?"

I miss you so much, Mike. Every day. Every night. Every moment by myself. I miss you. I try not to cry, because I don't think you'd want me to. But it's so hard not to. I don't know what else to do. I thought I had everything figured out. You were the perfection I needed. You were my everything.