Black, a dark swirling cloud that spreads from before my eyes to the edges of my vision. Black, and nothing more.
The soft whispers, all around me, come now, join us, it is time…
I have nothing, no mind, no body, just a soul within the darkness. I see the clouds, hear the whispers, though I am not sure whether or not "see" and "hear" are the right words, for I have no ears, no eyes; I just know.
Come now…The whispers are beckoning. But no, I'm not going to listen.
Join us… But I can't. I have a life to live, a full one, not one cut short so unfairly like this.
It is time… But why? Why must it be time? I want my body, my mind, my life. It's too early, I'm too young.
We are all young, young in the face of forever. Life is only the beginning… But I don't want to leave, I want to stay with my family, my friends, my husband, my children. I want to stay.
Why? Why would I want to stay in the world, with the people I love? Why would I not? I had everything there, and nothing here.
Is that what you truly believe?
…shouldn't it be?
You have much to learn, dear child.
Sometimes, things that appear as gifts may indeed be demons in disguise.
…I don't understand.
Nor did we.
So tell me.
It cannot be explained…
But it can be shown.
But it can be, wait wha-
But before I could finish, everything changed. The clouds dissolved, the whispers died, the scene disappeared.
"Honey, Honey it's time to wake up."
I opened my eyes… it couldn't be …and was met with the face of my smiling husband.
"There we go. Come on, breakfast is already on the table."
"Sam?" The name was breathed so softly it was barely audible.
"Oh, and I've got a work conference this morning, so you'll have to take the kids to school."
Work conference? Kids to school? That meant… Oh god.
"I can't do it."
My husband turning from the mirror that he was standing in front of to fasten his tie. "Why not?"
"Because," what could I say? "I don't know, I just feel that something bad is going to happen."
"Yeah, right," my husband replied, turning back to adjust his tie. "Seriously dear, you need to go."
"Sam," I couldn't just let this happen. I got up, walking quickly toward him and wrapping my arms around his chest. "How about you drop the kids, then come back here. We can go out today, just the two of us."
"Honey," he laughed, shaking me off, "I can't skip this, just drop the kids and let me get ready."
"No." I grabbed his shoulders, pulling him into a kiss, trying to savour the moment, committing every detail to memory. It would be our last. "Come on Sam, just one day."
"Ah geez," he pushed me off again and turned back to the mirror, "I don't know what's gotten into you today, but my work is important and I can't just skip."
"But I, I…" I don't believe it. I'm going to die today and my husband cares more about work than about me. I looked at him, now brushing down his suit, trying to memorise very pane of his face, of his body. Oh why won't he look at me, he won't even have a proper memory of his wife of eight years. Why did we never realise that today could be our last?
"Standing there won't be much help. Really, they're going to be late."
It hurts. Our last day together, and we shared nothing. No love, no feelings. It hurts.
"Okay, I'll go."
I barely remembered taking my two children to the car, or driving up the long meandering road to drop them at their primary school.
But this time, when I saw the sports car zipping round the corner, I didn't scream. I didn't brake.
Instead, I welcomed the oblivion. It didn't seem so daunting anymore.
Do you see?
Yes, I never realised that we miss so much in our life.
It is not important now. Your mortal life is passed. The next now awaits you, a world that is not complicated by the needs of the body or the emotions of the mind. A world which is merely existence. Like us.
A world with no pain, no heartbreak, no nothing. Suddenly, I wasn't reluctant. Suddenly, I saw the wonder that was that world, and the perfection it had. Suddenly, I wanted to move on.
Are you ready to pass through?
Yes, I think I am.
The scene changed again, but instead of dying down, the whispers began to build, louder and louder in a cacophony of noise. A light shone through, from somewhere in the abyss, a beacon though the darkness.
And the clouds parted.
I turned my gaze to the figure within the parted clouds, robed in black with the deadly blade at his side. I moved toward him.
I am ready.