I believe some warnings are in order... There will be BL (boys love), and there will be sappy/angsty/fluffy stuff.
Now that we have that established, read on, dearest readers!
"Watch that blind faith of yours."
He'd tell me that all the time. But in all honesty, I had no idea what it meant.
The one I speak of being my commander; the one I looked up to, the one I honored above all others, the one to whom I'd commend my life – which, oftentimes, is tested on a near daily basis.
You see, I am a soldier. Only just until recently, he gave me the honor of becoming his right-hand knight, granting me full permission to command and take care of his armies. "Your dedication is par to none." Is what he told me, when I was given the promotion.
Naturally, I gratefully accepted such a privilege, and I could recall the smirk he wore across his face, as he bestowed such power unto me. The complete trust we share is something that I will never take for granted.
This ally of mine is strong, an incredibly talented swordsman, and his knowledge is simply amazing. Not just pertaining to battlefield tactics, but it seems his mind is an endless pool of intelligence – picking bits and pieces from every tidbit. But to me, bliss is being able to watch him amidst swordplay practice, and even – dare I say - on the battlefield.
He amazes me. Oftentimes, I would tell him, "I'll follow under your orders always."
Then you know what he'd tell me? "Watch that blind faith of yours, solider."
Is he trying to hide something? Trying to tell me to turn away from him? To abandon him? Or perhaps these were kind thoughts towards me, as if speaking to me more as an equal, and less as superior officer. Regardless, perhaps it isn't simply faith that I'm feeling. Yes, loyalty plays a role here. But is it my faith really that blind?
Perhaps not. After all, love is blind. It's not my faith that may be blind, but my love for that man.
"I don't care what happens, you STAY with your fleet! Do NOT follow me, understand?" I could see the azure blue of my captain's eyes searing through me, almost calling forth tears to spill from my face.
"I get it, but why don't you wait until after I've readied our army?" Appalled that he would bring up such a hopeless proposal, I found myself shouting back at my commanding officer. Something that – under most circumstances – I would never even dare. "If you go out there ALONE beforehand-"
I'm not sure what happened, but as I continued to argue with him, his rage seemed to melt slightly. I kept my eyes towards his. A firm hand was placed along my shoulder blade, my armor padding pressing into my skin. "I know it's risky. And I know you're scared. But right now, you're in charge of your men, and I need to see for myself what kind of enemy this will be. I'll be back sooner than you know it."
We both knew the type of enemy that awaited us; a strong one. And he was foolish enough to try and face them head on? He assured me it was just a "spy mission"; just to take a look at their forces. But if he were to step one foot out-of-line in their territory…? If he were to be spotted by the higher-ups… He was after information, and by trying to obtain it, he would need to confront them.
Momentarily, I froze. What was I to do? Let him go? But of course, orders needed to be followed. My trust for him was attempting to match my concern for him. Or perhaps my concern reigned over my faith that he would return unharmed. But whatever the case, I had to cease my hesitation. And so, in all my misled strength or weakness, I knelt before him and muttered, "Yes, sir."
And with that, he turned his back to me and set off. Alone. And as was I.
I lifted my head, but still remained motionless, as I watched him leave towards his tent. He would collect his things, then leave for an hour or so, then return to me, unharmed.
It was then that my dreaminess and the night sky began to play tricks on me. The moon shone a soft light against his beautiful, pale skin, adorning him in a glow. In my moment of fear, I had prayed to whatever entity had power over protection, that it keep my friend company that night. In the mean time, I – his initial guardian - would await his return.
I saw the medics arrive before seeing the face of my comrade. His armor had been previously removed, and his body was now covered in blood-stained clothing, which was soon stripped off him and replaced with thick bandages.
Naturally, fear overcame me, but upon rushing over to my friend, the medics swarmed me off. As my commander was brought to the infirmary, one of the lady medics gave me orders to clean and put his armor away, while they mended his broken arm. Afterwards, she also gave me an assuring look, giving me a sense of hope that his injuries were not all that serious.
Per usual, I did as I was told. Then I also had time to change from out of my armor and into my night outfit; assuredly, there would be no fighting tonight.
I sat quietly in the hallway with my head leaned close to the doorway. My entire body and mind felt numb and sore. My arched back slid down the wall without me even noticing, and I lazily sat with my hands knitted together across my knees.
"Give me the commander. My knight." I heard him say. My master.
I entered, upon hearing his voice call to me – as was habitual. "Sir?"
When his eyes reached mine, his pale face softened from superior to comrade. He politely dismissed the medic standing near him, then turned his full attention towards me. Honestly, it felt odd that he would put so much trust and effort into me. It made me feel honored, to say the least.
"Sir?" I repeated, pointlessly. My mind raced, yet words escaped me. My eyes could only stare aimlessly into the dark, crimson hues around his arm.
"Don't speak. It pains me to talk anyway."
Now in the infirmary, I welcomed myself to take a seat beside him. "Then why did you send for me?"
"I need your presence." He stated simply.
"…Sir?" Why do you look at me like that? Your eyes… Your whole body looks so weak. Or maybe just exhausted? I wish I could strengthen you, as you strengthen me. Because honestly, is just my presence really helping you?
Suddenly, a wave of emotion overcame my ally. He was suddenly and obviously upset, "It was because you left me that I lost… It's because you weren't there…" As his body began trembling, I feared for his health. As his voiced was raised, I feared for his sanity. "Why did you leave me?"
What on earth…? He's never reacted so childish before. So driven by emotions. It's rather amusing! I almost laughed. "Sir, something so contrary…"
"Leave! NOW, commander."
For the first time in my career as an understudy, I chose to disobey him. I stayed and sat tight in my seat, merely keeping my gaze closely knit with his. He was a steadfast leader, but I also wanted to prove my stubbornness to him. After all, it was obvious that his mission failure was not the reason for his sudden burst of energy. And being his friend, I wanted to know why.
But after a minute of wondering, I had already made an assumption of my own. And in the moment of chance - or perhaps me being idiotic - I chose to speak these things to him, "Sir, you've taught me to be true, but never to be blinded by faith-"
"Get out!" His voice snapping in frustration, he shot me a glare, to which I did not respond.
"You've taught me not to speak from the heart directly-"
My commander sported enough foresight to see where this conversation was leading, and an unexpected pink hue grew around his beautiful face. "Commander, cease this and leave my side at once!"
Desperate for full attention from the other, I reached out, grabbed his shoulders, and shook him lightly. My master bounced into the creaking mattress beneath him, yet his wild eyes did not waver from me. Unaware of the words escaping my lips, I still did not hold back, "If you'd just stop to listen to me, I won't have to break your arm further."
'Don't talk, I'm tired.' Yet you yell at me first. 'Don't follow me.' Then you regret your decision, by saying, 'Why weren't you there for me?' 'I need your presence…' 'Leave me alone!' Are you aware of what you're feeling, my dear?
Calmly, I waited for a response that never came. And so I continued. "You, sir, are a hypocrite. As am I. But at least I'm also being honest." Before confessing, I softly sighed, easing my hold on the other's shoulders somewhat. "Having said that… I feel it's only fair for me to tell you… that I love you."
He did not speak. He did not breathe. He, at last, moved his eyes away from mine, yet remained stiff.
Have I done the right thing? I finally let him go, letting my fingertips skim across his soft, frozen face. I realize that… perhaps you've loved me longer than I've known. There is no other explanation for the things you've done for me, and the things I've done for you. But I won't fear it, I will treasure it.
"Sir, by your leave?" Curtly, I bowed my head before him, awaiting an answer.
I've done my part. Now it's your turn, friend, to decide what's in store for us.
Readers, this is the end! I hope you've enjoyed this little one-shot! I know I had lots of fun brainstorming this one up!
...Re-reading this, I see that our leading character rambles quite a bit... And he's kind of wordy; unlike his partner. I hope that he didn't confuse you...! If so, everyone, my sincerest apologies!
Oh, and by the way, have you noticed that I did not give these boys names? While I was writing, no names came (they rarely do for me, I'm afraid). And so I decided to make both of my babies nameless (please forgive me, my babies!). But because this story is in first person, I didn't have too many pronoun issues, luckily...