Are you scared? Really? Do I honestly instill fear and suspicion in you as you read this? GOOD!!! Be afraid. Be VERY afraid. Do you doubt my powers? Don't. You can not comprehend my powers. I HAVE POWERS ONLY PINTO BEANS CAN DREAM OF!!! And you do not even want to know what kind of powers those are. Pinto beans are some of the most ungodly creations put upon this plane of existence. You thought this was the only one? Of course not. We exist on multiple planes, my friends. This is only what we perceive as reality. Reality is open to suggestion, to be honest. It all depends on your own perspective on life. To me, mutilation and murder and running around naked slathered in chocolate syrup and honey throwing cans of Chef Boyardee at people screaming "THE PURPLE UNICORNS ATTACK FROM THE EAST!!! REPENT!!! REPENT!!! GIVE ME A PEANUT BUTTER AND ICE CREAM AND CAT SAMMICH OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY ETERNAL WRATH OF FEAR AND HOPELESSNESS AND IRRITABLE BOWELS AND YET ANOTHER N'SYNC CONCERT!!!" is my idea of fun. To others, it may be oiling yourself up and swimming in the sewers. To each their own, I say. I'm a very open-minded person. If you like it, do it, and if anyone has a problem with it, break their kneecap and scream "GET ON YOUR KNEES AND BARK LIKE A DOG FOR ME BITCH!!!" right in their face. It's a very satisfying feeling, also very funny at that. The way people have that look in their eyes when they stare into the soul of an insane person... for eyes are windows into the soul. If you stare deep into someone's eyes, you can see who they really are. Their thoughts, their dreams, their fears, their vices, their virtues, everything that makes someone human. I've heard people either fear for their lives or fall for me when they stare into my eyes. It seems that whenever I have someone tied up to a chair and am busy breaking their digits one by one they have fear, but that might just be because I'm also singing "Oops I Did It Again" as loudly as possible. It's my dream to find Britney Spears and rip out her vocal chords, but DAMN that's a good song. I don't care what you say. Yes, I sing Britney Spears while I torture people. I also poke holes in plastic wrap in the grocery store whenever I pass by it. As I said, to each their own. Now if you'll excuse me, I must go find a cheerleader and saw her legs off.