I've been thinking again. About things like this. I guess they just don't stop. This has been bothering me for a while, and it just keeps coming back. Reviews are appreciated as this particular thing means a lot to me.


October 1st, 2010

11:59pm

Window-Pain

The downward spiral, took me down again this week.
I felt it when it arrived,
The darling little miss, with glinting wicked eyes.
She snuck into the room of my mind,
And made her little home there.

I didn't feel importance,
A sense of panic to fix this,
So I let her have her stay,
Take all that there is from me.
The downward spiral, won't leave me alone.

And maybe it's genetics,
I'm scared of her curse.
Maybe it's biology,
What medicine would it take?
Maybe I've done all that I could,
And I should surrender, to lady saccharine
And her needle lies.

That little monster,
She took all that there is away from me,
And I'm not sure if I can anymore,
Take the drain and wait it out.
I try my own advice,
I try to deal, but it never works.
The downward spiral, wants to take me alive.

I could never keep track of her,
So I would pretend and tell myself,
It was always less than I thought.
I feel a hidden sense in my mind,
Trying to tell me a secret.
Just don't let her hear.

I pick a day and time,
And I think whether she had known me then.
How long ago,
Since when and where?
Did my dear friend grow up with me.
From the womb?
Or meet me on the outside, sometime?
Will the downward spiral, wait until I die?

I'm sick of a sense of dread,
Those sailing dreams trying to push me back out,
But always in the wrong direction.
Those desperate dreams,
Too weak to tell me anything,
Sitting by and waiting, for the final day.
Those desperate dreams, they save me,
Each and every day.

I've made it through another week,
With the downward spiral,
It took me down and glued me there,
I couldn't even speak.
So maybe you're not real,
To me I feel you sneaking in and out,
Making your stay an often thing.
You're not a something, that could speak out loud,
But still, the clearest thing in my mind.

I'm exhausted, sleep deprived and ready to never reawaken.

So tell me now,
What does the downward spiral want?