Made: Friday, October 22, 2010

Time: 3:32p.m

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I'll admit I lost my nerve that night
I fell to my knees and gave to the flames
My eyes dulled a few shades darker
They were futile attempts to hide my shame.

For once, I couldn't hold it back
So sue me, I say
But don't you ever bring it up
On night or day.

Saying it aloud makes it real
It's admitting the truth to me
And the truth, you might wonder?
I can't tell you until I'm free.

However, I'll admit I was scared
It was a good night at the least
Should've stayed on the sidelines
It was where I belong, you see.

I screwed up
I just screwed the hell up
And there's no turning back
The flames that erupt.

I shut my eyes
But still their faces stared
My mistake in the open
Wonder how I faired.

Yeah, so I lost my nerve that night
All my lies came undone
"I never cry," I laugh
Until the truth is shone.

My only plea is not to pity me
It was of my own stupid fault
It wasn't supposed to happen this way
Now I can't cease the thoughts.

If anything, point and laugh
Make a joke out of my name
I deserve it, I'll have you know
I broke the mask that hid my shame.

It was a game no longer
Because it was more than what appeared
It wasn't just that night
It was everything I had ever feared.

I lost my nerve that night
Don't you dare pity the corrupt
I deserve the shame I bring
Because I screwed up.

I screwed the hell up.