A Lesson for the Home-Wrecker

Summary: It was time for Dane to teach his home-wrecking cousin, Shiori, a lesson. Karma can be a real bitch...

Warnings: A small mention of Yaoi/Boyslove

Inspiration: A Magazine story

Disclaimer: All characters are mine and cannot be used without permission.

AN: Just trying my hand at a random oneshot. Do let me know what you think of it. Thanks!


Feeling a hand, warm and large slipping through his short black hair, Dane MacFarland rolled his eyes toward the ceiling, but made no attempt to smack the hand away.

"I thought you said you wanted to watch TV together?" he said as he turned his head to the man sitting next to him, who had his arm around his shoulders, holding him close as they sprawled out comfortably upon Dane's couch.

"But there's nothing on," Garth Whitelaw protested with a cheeky smile on his lips, his flaming red hair and shimmering blue-gray eyes only adding to his mischievousness.

"I can think of something more entertaining," he added suggestively as he flicked a strand of Dane's hair from his line of vision.

"Oh?" Dane said as he quirked an eyebrow at him before leaning forward expectantly, shifting so he was now sitting in his lap, straddling him. "What is that?"

That grin only became more devious as Garth placed his hands on his hips, his fingers teasing against the belt on his jeans. "Why don't I-?"

Suddenly, there was a loud crash at Dane's front door of his apartment, causing the two men to be startled.

"Dano! Oh my god, guess what?!"

"Argh, it's my cousin," Dane said through seemingly gritted teeth as he pushed away from his boyfriend by placing a hand on his chest. He then turned his green eyes to Garth and furrowed his brow, clearly showing his irritation. "You've got to hide."

Garth looked surprised and a little bit amused. They were both men, in their 20's for Heaven's sake; they were too old for 'trying to hide the boyfriend' game now, weren't they?

"Why?" he asked as Dane climbed off his lap and snared his wrist in his hand, leading him to the bedroom hastily, quite literally pushing him inside. Despite the vast height difference between them, Dane being a half a foot shorter than Garth, he could be quite strong when he wanted to be.

"She's a home-wrecker," Dane whispered to him as he attempted to close the door on him, locking him inside the room. "I don't want her to know we're dating or she's sure to try something."

But Garth pushed back against the door, preventing Dane from closing it completely on him, his brow creasing into an expression of defiance. "She would never come between us," he said.

"I know that," Dane said quickly in response, nervously looking over his shoulder at the sound of approaching footsteps.

"So why?"

"Shut up! I'm saving you from a fate worse than death here!" Dane all but hissed comically at him, causing Garth to blink at him a few times in confusion. "Shiori's really annoying and overly obnoxious in her flirting. Just shush, would you?"

A look of bemusement lingered on Garth's face as he finally relented in his struggling, giving Dane a look that said he was going to explain more afterwards. "Alright, alright."

As soon as Dane shut the door, a young woman a year older then he bounded up the stairs. She was quite a striking girl, some would say beautiful, but Dane was gay and her cousin, so he wouldn't associate those words with her. Still, one could not deny that she was good looking. She had curly golden blonde hair coming down to her should blades, thin streaks of black falling around the sides of her face and around her eyes that were a misty hazel. She was wearing a sky blue summer dress, floaty and airy, that reached her thighs and was held on her shoulders with spaghetti straps.

She quickly sprawled out on the couch as she kicked off her light pink sky-scraper high stilettos and sighed happily. She looked excited and bubbly, almost as if she had just met the perfect man for her.

Again...

"I have news!" she gushed excitedly, ready to fall into a spiel about her latest crush. "He's, like, perfect!"

She continued to prattle on, Dane only vaguely listening as what he was hearing wasn't anything new. Every few weeks Shiori would be obsessively lusting over a new guy and would come to his place to brag about it. This time her crush was on her new tennis coach; he was strong, handsome, athletic and most importantly, looked good in shorts!

"Is that so?" Dane asked vaguely as he set about occupying himself with something more interesting...like setting the clean dishes away.

"And he has a fiancé, but not for long!" Shiori said with an evil wink.

Normally, someone having a fiancée would have been seen that the person in question wasn't on the market, but Dane could only sigh in exasperation. This was typical of Shiroi, or Iory as some of her girly friends referred to her when drunk.

Shiori had the unpleasant habit of deliberately setting her sights on married or engaged men. She got a real kick out of dating attached guys, saying it was like a thrill of being naughty and being caught. She would, however, justify her actions by saying if their wives and girlfriends' were giving them the attention they needed, then they wouldn't be sleeping with her.

Of course, Dane so badly wanted to point out that she was the one aggressively pursuing them, but it would go ignored so he simply let her do what she wanted. She could be nice when she wanted to be, and she was good to her family, it was just...she was a home-wrecker and that annoyed him so much!

"And he has the most lusciously soft brown hair," Shiori continued to ramble.

Wait...A tennis coach with brown hair with a fiancé? S-she couldn't be talking about Robert Mendoza, could she? He was a friend of both his and Garth's and one of the nice guys in town. He was a good guy; friendly and out-going, but also a little shy around women. So...

"What's his name again?" Dane asked, his shoulders tensing a little in apprehension.

"Robert Mendoza," Shiori answered, sighing dreamily as the name rolled off her tongue before laughing as she climbed to her feet, flicking her blonde hair over her shoulder. "Way out of your league, Dano. For starters, his straight!"

Dane was furious, not because of the obvious jab at his sexual orientation, but because she insinuated that she was worthy of someone like Robert. It was enough to make his blood boil.

"B-but he's has a fiancée!" he pointed out, a sense of anger bubbling in his chest. "He should be way out of your league as well!"

Yeah, he knew Robert's fiancée. She was also a friend of his. Her name was Natasha, but her friends called her Tasha as a nickname.

She was a beautiful and nice woman, one of the nicest people he had ever met and she and Robert were good for each other. They were both smart, enthusiastic toward life, and, most importantly, actually cared for other people. Hell, she worked as a Physical Therapist while Robert worked half-time as a co-ordinator for charity fund raising events.

And to think that Shiori was audacious enough to believe she could start an affair with a man obviously smitten with someone else.

Oh no, not this time. Shiori was not going to ruin yet another relationship with her floozy actions; he was going to make sure of it.

...Somehow.

"Would it kill you to date a single guy?" Dane asked her harshly, but that only got another laugh from his blonde-haired cousin.

"Single guys are so boring," she scoffed as she sat on the arm of the couch to slip her heels back on. "So Robert has a fiancé, big deal. I've booked him for private lessons, so he's going to be all mine. Later, Dano."

Dane was left fuming as Shiori walked out of his apartment with an obvious smug sway of her hips, leaving the door open behind her. Gritting his teeth, he walked over to his front door and slammed it shut, the sound ringing harshly through his apartment.

He was utterly disgusted. Shiori was deliberately setting out to ruin yet another relationship, this time the relationship of one of his closest friends.

"Did you hear that?" Dane fumed when his boyfriend, Garth, came out of hiding. "She's so...argh!"

"Easy Daney," Garth said soothingly as he wrapped his arms around the slighter and shorter male, pulling his back against his chest and resting his chin on the seething man's shoulder. "Yes, I heard what she said, but that doesn't mean she's going to succeed in breaking Robert and Natasha up."

"I know she won't," Dane said, his brow still furrowed in anger but leant into Garth's arms nonetheless. "But it's the fact that she thinks she can and that it's ok for her to try is what really pisses me off!"

Shiori has already broken up several relationships, playing a major role in at least three messy divorces. And word has it; she left one man feeling suicidal after he broke-up with his long-time girlfriend to be with her, only for Shiori to turn him down as he was no longer a thrill for her.

It simply could not continue...It won't continue!

"Well, why don't we teach her a lesson?" Garth suggested, sounding almost as if he had just read Dane's thoughts. Or maybe he could just read him so incredibly well. "You know, make her out to be the home-wrecker she really is?"

That immediately gained Dane's attention and he pushed away from his lover's arms enough so he could turn around and gaze up at the now grinning red-head, mischievousness dancing in his bluish-gray eyes.

"What do you have in mind?"


A chance to teach Shiori a lesson came a few days after her announcement of her new conquest. She was going to be away for a week on holidays with a few of her friends; it was summer so they were going to party hard and drink as much as possible. Dane knew of this because he had to spend the last couple of days listening to her brag about her trip and how she was going to meet some hot guys while he stayed home, alone and single.

Yeah, so she thinks. He and Garth had been dating for three years now, not that he was ever going to tell her that. Despite Garth being gay, it wouldn't be below her to try to make him straight. She liked challenges after all.

A few hours after her departure, Dane and Garth put their plan into action.

Finding Robert's business email address, Garth hacked into Shiori's email account. It wasn't difficult for him to do as he was a Computer Software Programmer and all. Then, they started emailing Robert, pretending to be Shiori.

"Let's start off slow and work our way up," Dane suggested as he leaned over Garth's shoulder, looking at the computer screen. "But don't use any fancy words or Robert might catch on."

Thinking for a moment, Garth quickly typed up something that could sound plausible. "How about this?" he asked.

My tennis skills have totally improved, thanks to you being my private coach!

"Looks good," Dane said as a mischievous grin slipped across his lips. "Send it, quick."

Pressing the send button, the two men felt somewhat...devious and naughty, neither one having done anything like it before. But it was for a good cause; Shiori simply had to learn her lesson and others had to know what kind of woman she really was.

A few hours later, they had received a reply from Robert, saying something along the lines of; "That's great." And that was it.

So, Shiori hadn't been able to work her charms fully on him yet? Good! That meant they could have fun trying to charm him for her.

Over the next few days, they sent poor Robert more emails from Shiori, which were getting more and more desperate in her 'charm'. They were at first chatty and he would send a friendly, if dismissive and vague reply, which gave Dane and Garth the indication that he wasn't even remotely interested in Shiori.

So, they decided to take things up a notch.

I miss you, Dane wrote into the email, Garth sniggering over his shoulder. Can't wait to see you soon xxx

A few hours later, Garth fired off another one.

I'm falling in love with you. You are totally the one for me. Don't you think our kids would be gorgeous?

Dane had to laugh at that one. "That is definitely something she would say!"

They didn't stop there. They sent him loads more emails over the next few days from 'Shiori" professing her undying love for him and that she wished he'd leave his fiancée. Truly, they weren't sending anything Shiori wouldn't say or try herself in person!

When Shiori finally came home from her trip, the first thing she did was race around to the tennis club where Robert worked at, hoping to tempt him with her luscious sun-tanned body she worked on.

But a few hours later, she burst in through Dane's front door, startling him greatly as she all but wailed at him like a child throwing a tantrum. "They cancelled my membership!"

"Er, why?" Dane asked, hiding a smirk by biting the inside of his mouth.

"They said I've been stalking Robert!" she shrieked, her high-heels clucking against the wooden flooring violently as she began to pace. "The club manager refused to even let me inside, saying that if I contacted Robert or any other male staff members that they would report me to the police!"

Dane had to stifle his laughter as she continued to rant about how embarrassed she was and how indignant the whole ordeal had been. He didn't feel guilty about what he and Garth had done. Being a home-wrecker was nothing to be proud off, after all.

"They made me out to be a total psycho!"

Maybe now she'll learn her lesson about chasing married men. If not, then he would just have to do this all over again.