Rumors circle the open air

As I look for an empty table

I see judging eyes everywhere

Watching me with hearts of sable

Why? Why? Why can't you understand?

I want to be alone, but

I want a friend, a helping hand

Something's always wrong: too many zits, hair too dirty

When I approach someone, they walk away

I walk up to a boy and try to get flirty

But I've said something wrong, and today's not my day.

"Why did she...? Why is she so..? Did you hear..?"

Did I? How could I not!

You whisper, look away: your accusations made clear

Is it me you slander? Well you can go rot!

I leave the room: the tables are full

Better not sit at all than sit with a stranger

For that's all you are. You're as stubborn as a bull

Why can't you be like the baby in the manger?

But then...why can' I?

Like you, I'm judging, I know

But your thoughts make me cry

In my heart they plant doubts that grow

But even ripped out

mowed over

ignored throughout

and broken,

they never completely heal...

...Like scar tissue...

Once more, I'm alone

That's all I ever am

I yearn for more, but this is all I've ever known

A life with no hope, and friends that are scams

I wish I was wallpaper: hanging around, but never seen

"They can't hurt someone they don't know"

That's what I say when my eyes get that shiny sheen

If there are no people, they can't cause woe.

I'm building a prison of my own design

Forged by the words of others

Guarded by my thoughts malign

And populated by another's.

I want to break out, but at the same time, I'm safe

I'm not attacked in a cage

But my self-formed manacles just chafe

And my doubts I won't engage

But when I'm not invisible, I'm seen

And I feel judging eyes everywhere

My actions mirror a machine's and

Rumors circle the open air