I'm sinking into a remissive state
Nothing feels right
I hate my words
My hands producing them
Everything sounds so profound when I don't say it
I'm so cold
That'll never change
I'm a broken blistered bleeding person who can only ever truly be home when lying upon the ground, amongst the dirt and insects
I'm not really here
Just floating, floating, waiting for super nova, wishing for super nova
Pain is my castle and I build my walls swiftly so as to let no one in
I want so badly to stop, to think, to see
I can't see anything but the black I cause, I protrude
It seeps and It sings out of my mouth, my pen, my flesh
I don't deserve what I want
I don't deserve to want it
I know that
I'm a fool
A selfish, stupid fool with her head in the clouds
Can real love survive without pain?
Can I survive without love?
Can I cut my heart out and stop it's infernal bleeding?
Can I for once just do what I want?
For me. The piano is crying isn't it?
He's terrified isn't he
Poor thing, I don't mean to hurt him
My words are such pathetic, groundless things with no real hope for meaning anything to anyone
He won't stop
He makes me want to cry with him
Cry my words to him
But nothing I can say will ever halt tears
Just make them
For myself and for others
Selfishly, keeping all this around
I try to fool them
Only a few can see through me
And I can dissuade them easily
Just look at me now, keeping my tears in check for the piano
He can never know how much hurt I have
He can never come inside the walls