Little Less Than Sober
"Cady, you're sober. Why are you coming over?" my on-and-off boyfriend Beck asked me as I crashed into his room.
"Because my life is stupid. I was a mistake. Even my mom told me that," I blubbered, falling onto his bed. He rubbed my back gently.
"You're not a mistake. You're the farthest thing from that. You know that. You have a bazillion friends, and you're loved by everyone at the school. You're smart, beautiful, on the National Honor Society, class president, and captain of the girl's volleyball and soccer teams. You're also on track. Is that not enough for you to understand how amazing of a person you are?" he asked gently.
"That's not enough," I whispered, staring up at him.
Beck had always been gorgeous. He had dark brown hair with piercing green eyes that made my day. He was captain of the guy's soccer team, and he was the quarterback on the football team. It was so cliché that we had dated. We had been the "it" couple of the school for about a year-and-a-half until we finally decided that being under so much pressure and our every moves being scrutinized that it would be best for us if we just ended it. That didn't mean that I didn't still love him, and I sometimes wondered if he still felt the same way about me.
"Why is it not enough?" he pressed.
"Because it wasn't enough to get you."
Sure, I'd had Beck for awhile. He said that I'd had him since first grade, but I knew better than to believe him.
He now had a girlfriend whom I despised. Her name was Brooklyn, and she was basically the reason people came up with the word bitch. She was my arch nemesis, and she said it was just because "there would always be that one person in the world that you just wouldn't get along with," but I knew it was because I'd dated Beck, and she was jealous of the fact that we were still pretty close.
Beck wasn't exactly my best friend, but he was still ranked pretty high up there. There was my best girl friend, Tarryn, who I could tell anything to. She was the type of girl that slept over at my house, covered for me whenever I was getting myself into trouble, and just did anything relating to stuff like that.
Then, there was Mack. He was a super-hot guy who helped me with a lot of my problems. I totally would've dated him except for the fact that he was gay. Yup. That was probably the reason that we were so close – he understood girls and guys, so he helped me with a lot of my issues that Tarryn couldn't.
"Cady, how many times do I have to tell you – we just didn't work out. We're the people who just can't be in a relationship with each other no matter how much you like each other."
I just rolled my eyes. He gave me that speech every time something like this happened, but he still looked at me with love in his eyes. Please, extraordinarily hot guy who doesn't know what he's saying, just realize that you're in love with me like I am with you.
"Can I ask you for something?" I asked softly, staring up at him through my eyelashes.
I knew I was hot. I really didn't try to flaunt it, but it just kind of came naturally.
"Depends on what it is," he answered as he stood up and started cleaning his room. He was pretty much a neat-freak. I swore he was OCD, but everyone else said I was wrong. Whatever.
"Please. Please, Beck," I whispered. He froze and stared at me. I hadn't even said it, but he knew what it was.
"Cadence, no. I'm not doing that. Nope. I draw the line there," he declined firmly.
"Please! I'm literally begging you!"
"No! How many times to say that?!"
"Well, you've only said it three times…"
"Shut up, Cady. We're not doing that."
"No. I'm not doing that for you. You're just upset about everything, and I refuse to give in."
"I bet you would do it if I was Brooklyn," I fired off. I didn't mean to say that out loud, but I hated her, and I knew him well enough to know that he would do anything for her.
He froze and stared at me.
"See?! You would! You're messed up, Beck. Really messed up." I started to get up, but he pulled me back down.
"I wouldn't do this if it were Brooklyn. You know that," he murmured. He brushed some of my hair out of my face.
"Yes you would," I grumbled, turning away from him.
"No, I wouldn't," he retorted, grasping my chin gently and turning my face back to him. His lips were centimeters from mine. If I just reached out a little bit and erased the line that he drew…
But he'd never forgive me if I did.
So I pulled away and stood up.
"Cady, please don't leave," he whispered.
"I have stuff to do, Beck," I lied. I grabbed my heavy coat and walked out of his room and down to my car. I had my hand on the handle whenever I heard the front door slam close and saw Beck running out to my car.
"You're not leaving," he ordered.
"Yeah, I kind of am. I have stuff to do."
"Are you just pissed because I won't have sex with you?"
"No," I lied again.
"Yeah you are."
"You can't tell me what I'm thinking me because you don't know."
"Please. I can read you like a book." He moved my hand off the handle of my door and grasped it gently between both of his.
"What are you doing?" I demanded cautiously.
"Don't leave," he breathed.
I hesitated. The most gorgeous guy on this planet was asking me not to leave.
"Too bad." I withdrew my hand and opened my car door. "Bye, Beck." I got into my seat, started the car, and sped off without a second glance.
"You begged him for SEX?!" Mack shouted the next day at lunch.
"Shh!" I hissed.
"Cadence, that's crossing the line!" he exploded.
"Mack, it's not a big deal, okay? He said no, anyway."
"Next thing I know is that you're gonna be going off and selling your body to fat pigs who have nothing better to do with their lives. I thought you were above that level," he spat.
"What are you talking about?" I glared at him.
"Nothing important. But, Cady, I know he's delicious, but, honey, sex isn't in your vocabulary." He 'tsked' me in disapproval.
"What if I've already lost my virginity?" I challenged.
"I know you haven't, so don't lie. What, is there a big V written in Sharpie across your forehead? I don't think so. And besides, shouldn't you wait for someone special to come along?"
"What if Beck is special?"
"He's yummy, I'll give you that. But he's also not exactly the guy you're looking to marry. Trust me, I've heard you complain about him."
"My mom complains about my dad all the time."
"Please explain to me how that's relevant. Your parents are happily married, though."
"I think I know," I snapped. That's when Beck entered the cafeteria. Brooklyn was dangling off his arm, and he was looking down at her and smiling. Smiling. Who smiles at Brooklyn Rogers?
"Don't give him the goo-goo eyes. He doesn't deserve it." Mack snapped in my face a couple of times, breaking my trance.
"Mack, chill," I sighed.
"Whatever, Cadence. Wait until Tarryn gets in here and flips out. She's going to, especially since you were begging him for "fun time."" He used quotation marks with his fingers.
"Fun time? Really, Mack?" I giggled.
"Whatever." He waved off the comment, and stabbed at his salad.
He was so hot. He was about the same level as Beck, but Beck wasn't really my best friend. Mack had this light-blond hair that was on the borderline of white, but you could tell that it was more blond than white. He had the bluest eyes I've ever seen in my life, and he was really tan. I accused him of spray-tans, but he was never orange. He was a fashionista, of course, and I think that was the dead-giveaway that he was gay. But he was muscular, which was the weird part. If he didn't comment on how "delicious" guys were and wore the clothes he wore, he could really pass as straight.
"Do you miss him?" Mack asked quietly.
"Who? My dead grandpa?"
"No, my love. Beck."
I didn't even have to think about it. "Yeah. I mean, it's so weird because I always think I don't, but I miss him more than anything. And now he has the she-devil over with him, and he won't take me back," I murmured, staring at my food.
"He'd take you back if he knew how you really felt."
"No he wouldn't. You don't know him like I do, Mack," I snapped.
"Jeez, what is up with you?" he hissed.
I stared at my food again. "Nothing. I…I have homework to do. Bye, Mack." I stood up, slung my bag over my shoulder, and walked out of the cafeteria, meekly pushing open the doors.
"Cady! Ohmygosh, you'll never guessed what happened!" Tarryn squealed grabbing my arm as I walked past her.
"What happened?" I sighed, aimlessly finger-combing through my hair.
"Ben Lawrence just asked me out! On Friday! You and Mack and Beck and Brooklyn should double with me!" she exclaimed.
"Me and Mack? He's gay, Tarryn."
"I know, but you don't have a boyfriend, and Mack's the only guy I can think of…"
"Wow. Thanks," I answered sarcastically.
"Okay, so that was mean. But come on, Cady! It'll be fun! Plus Mack has had his eye on Beck for awhile. C'mon, please!" she pleaded.
"Tarryn, I'd be going with a gay guy. He's super hot, I'll admit it, but really. I need an actual date – not someone who's my best guy friend. You really need those wheels to start turning up there." I tapped on her forehead, and she sighed before swatting my hand away.
"Fine. But find someone. I mean it." She danced into the cafeteria, and I pulled out my phone and checked my messages. Nothing.
"Cadence! Oh, perfect! I was just looking for you! Amy and Ben are arguing over the budget for the Fall Ball," the secretary for student council, Andrea, announced as I walked over towards her. Trust me – it was by accident. I couldn't stand Andrea.
Ben Lawrence was the kind of guy who I couldn't stand. And I couldn't believe Tarryn said yes to him. He was that one guy that I wouldn't ever be able to get along with.
"We'll work something out," I mumbled.
"I was thinking that maybe we could have a meeting next week or something. We have to work out the budget issue, and we still need to plan everything for the dance. It's next Friday, you know." She started flipping through the gazillion papers she was holding and pulled the pencil out of her bun that was holding her hair up. It all fell down, and she shook her head a little. I rolled my eyes and sighed.
"I'll think about it tonight, okay? And tell Ben to just shut the fuck up. From Cady, okay?" Andrea gaped at me for a second before nodding like a bobble head.
"Do you want me to call a meeting?"
"You're secretary, not vice-president. That's Beck's job. I have stuff to do. See you." I started walking, and I could feel Andrea's eyes on me. It was creepy but also whatever. I was used to it.
I went into the library to do "work." It was mainly empty except for people like me who just wanted to get away from the cafeteria. I scanned through the books, trying to find something interesting. I gave up almost immediately, though – I'd never been a big reader – and sat down.
I stared at the clock until the big hand hit forty. That meant it was time for fifth period. I grabbed my bag and made my way to fifth period…which I shared with Beck. In fact, he sat next to me. Of course.
I sat down, and of course, Beck came in at the last second. I hadn't talked to him since the whole begging him for that one time thing, but I had a feeling that he wouldn't really want to talk about it.
He pulled out the book we were currently reading and put his head down. He fell asleep in this class, like most people. I picked up my pencil and aimlessly drew on my paper. I snapped out of my trance and gasped. Beck was sketched all across the page. I flipped to a new page in my notebook and put my face in my hands, staring at the passages the teacher was highlighting on the screen. Beck sighed and leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. His right bicep flexed. That's why most of the girls fell for him.
Beck was easily the hottest guy in the school, next to Mack. I've heard tons of stories of girls swooning over him. Of course, I'd swooned over Beck a couple of times. Or a lot. But I mean…look at him.
The bell rang, ending the day. I slung my bag over my shoulder and hurried out before Beck could catch me. Of course, he'd definitely be over at my house as soon as I got home. My parents both worked at the best hospital in the area, and they worked from five in the morning till nine at night. Of course, I saw them for about an hour every night before I went to sleep, if I wasn't studying.
I went to my locker where Tarryn was standing with her arms crossed over her chest. Shit.
"What happened last night? What happened, Cadence?" Her mouth was set in a hard line, and I drummed my fingers on the strap of my bag.
"Nothing." I walked around her and unlocked my locker, putting my English book on the shelf.
"Then why did Mack tell me that you begged Beck for sex?" she hissed, glancing around at the people who passed by.
"It was nothing, Tarryn! He said no – it's done."
"Whatever, Cadence. How could you tell Mack and not me? I thought we were closer than that! Whatever. I'm so done with all your shit." She stomped off, the guys stopping to stare at her.
She was gorgeous. She had long light-brown hair, and she was tall. Her cheek bones were well-defined, and she was really fit. She was on the cheerleading squad, volleyball team, and on the track team. She wore the best clothes and the best makeup. She had hazel eyes that she flaunted off. All-in-all, she was gorgeous. But personality-wise…she was kind of a bitch.
We became best friends in kindergarten. It was when my parents weren't working seeing as they had both gotten laid-off, so we were living with my grandmother. My parents said they didn't want to buy the sixty-four pack of Crayola crayons. So, I got the twelve pack. Tarryn had the sixty-four pack, and I took one of the billion colors and hid it in my desk before coloring with it. She just smiled at me and gave me about ten more crayons. From then on, I knew we were going to be best friends.
But when we hit ninth grade, she started changing. She'd had anorexia all through middle school, and she was in the hospital a lot. Her parents hired a teacher to come in the hospitals so she wouldn't fail and she could keep up with school. When we hit ninth grade, though, she started realizing just how pretty she actually was. She knew I was pretty, but I wasn't into cheerleading like she was, so she started making other friends…like Brooklyn. Then, Brooklyn spread all this crap about me that Tarryn knew wasn't true, but she chose to believe it, straining or friendship to the near ends. I just didn't understand how she could be so…heartless. In tenth grade, whenever Brooklyn happened, was when I befriended Mack. Everyone thought I was such a freak to have a gay best friend, but once Mack started flaunting off his gorgeous looks, people actually accepted him and me being best friends.
Tarryn and I eventually became closer again after Brooklyn stopped spreading my crap. Of course, she was spreading crap whenever I was dating Beck. Ninth and tenth grade were the worst years of my life. Now, I was a junior, and hopefully, all of that shit about me would go away. But, thanks to Brooklyn, everyone knew everything.
I grabbed my car keys out of my jacket pocket and got to my car. I unlocked the door and got in, letting my head rest on the steering wheel for a second.
Since my dad liked to work on cars whenever he had the time, he bought me a 1969 Mustang that I fell in love with. It ran as well as any 2010 car, thanks to my dad's magic touch.
I started the car, and pulled out of the lot. I drove the fifteen minutes home and pulled into the garage. Of course, I heard an engine as I got out of the car. I saw Beck's truck out of the corner of my eye. He was frowning as he glanced up at my house. I slipped in the door, shutting the garage door as I went. I sighed, leaning against the wall and letting only a few tears escape. I shoved my keys in my bag and set it on the stairs. I knew that Beck knew that I would change clothes before I went to the door. I changed into sweats and a ratty old t-shirt. I put my hair up into a messy bun with wispy strands hanging out. It showed that I didn't care, but it still looked sexy. Kind of.
I added a headband, making my bangs stick up in every direction. Beck said he liked natural, but him dating Brooklyn proved that he didn't like natural. Brooklyn was as fake as you got. I slipped on some shoes and took the stairs slowly. I peeked out the window and saw Beck sitting on the porch, staring out at the street. I unlocked the door and stepped outside, shutting the door gently. He turned around and looked at me.
"Nice," he greeted. I didn't say anything as I sat down next to him, crossing my legs.
"What was with last night?" he demanded. I stared at the cement.
"I was upset, Beck."
"So, sex was the answer to that? Do you know the risks of sex, even if we were careful?"
"I know the risks to sex, Beck! Do you think I would try if I didn't?"
"Wow. You're pretty stupid, Cady."
"I know," I whispered.
"I didn't mean that," he murmured.
"Yes you did," I mumbled. He sighed and leaned back.
"You know I didn't. Don't do the pity thing."
"You're beautiful, Cadence. Do you know that?"
"I'm not Brooklyn. I don't need to be told I'm beautiful like I don't know." I rolled my eyes, and he sighed again.
"Don't start. You know I'll leave."
"No you won't." He chuckled and ran a hand through his hair.
"We haven't talked in a long time. Like…actually talked. We should go inside. And talk," he suggested. He stood up and helped me up. Our faces were inches apart, and my hands were placed limply on his chest. He took a deep breath and took a step back. I opened the door and led the way to the media room, past the sitting room, past my parents' bedroom, past my dad's bar, and to the media room. It was upstairs, like most of the entertainment portions of my house, and one of my most favorite rooms, aside from my own.
There were about six different couches in the room, and the walls were painted a forest green. The TV took up the whole wall, and there was the whole surround sound thing. Let's say that my parents both getting the jobs at the hospital was one of the best things that happened to my family.
Beck sat down on one of the couches near the glass candy counter that was rarely used. He picked up a package of Sour Straws that he knew were there just for him. I sat down on one that was next to him and tucked my legs up under me.
"Let's watch a movie," he said.
"I thought we were coming up here to talk," I pointed out.
"Yeah but now I'm exhausted. Come sit next to me. I'm cold."
"There's a blanket behind you."
"But it's not like a warm body. Please, Cady?" He gave me doe eyes, and I sighed and picked up a random movie and put it in the DVD player. I walked back over to the couch that Beck was on and pulled the blanket over both of us.
About halfway into the movie, I realized it was extraordinarily stupid, and I was tired. All of the Beck and Tarryn and Mack and Brooklyn shit that had happened was really starting to take a toll on me. Not to be whiny or anything, but it was. I leaned against Beck, feeling the hard abs underneath is thin shirt. I rested my hand on his chest and felt my eyes fluttering closed.
"Cadence…Cady…Cady, the movie's over." I felt someone shaking me and wanted it to stop. I forced my eyelids open and stared at Beck's gorgeous face. What a great way to wake up.
"Did you even watch it?" he teased, brushing my bangs out of my face. My headband was on the floor, my bun even messier.
"I watched half of it. But I got really bored, so I fell asleep."
"What's wrong? Like…really wrong."
I bit my lip and twirled a piece of my hair around my finger nervously.
"Cady, you can tell me anything. You know that."
What's wrong is that I'm deeply in love with you, but you have to be dating a fucking bitch, you dumbass!
I definitely didn't say that, though. I sighed and stared at the material on the couch, trying not to focus on him.
I looked up, and he was looking down at me, our faces inches apart. I'm not sure who leaned in first, but suddenly, we were kissing, our lips fused together, his tongue in my mouth. I was practically kneeling on his lap, one arm wrapped around his neck, my other hand knotted in his brown hair. Both of his hands were gripping my waist tightly, pulling me closer to him.
I definitely did not want this to stop. But suddenly, his phone was vibrating, and he was pulling away. He glanced at me, and I removed my hand from his hair and climbed off of him.
"Hello?" He sounded breathless. I heard loud screeching on the phone and automatically knew it was Brooklyn.
"Yeah, I'll be right over…I was at…uh…Cady's house…No, Brooklyn, we weren't doing anything. I'm on my way, okay?" He snapped his phone shut and shoved it in his pocket.
"I have to go, Cady," he announced. He stood up and brushed off his jeans and shirt.
"Wait, Beck, why can't we talk about this? I know that I felt something, and I know you felt something, too, or you would've pushed me away! Come on! Don't go to her, Beck!"
"I know you felt something! I felt it, too!"
"Cady, I…I have a girlfriend. And I felt something, but…I'm in love with Brooklyn. I'm sorry." He hesitated before pulling open the doors, glancing at me one more time, before he walked down the stairs. I felt his heavy steps hitting the hardwood floor then the front door shutting.
I waited until I was completely sure that he was gone before I let the tears fall. He even admitted that he felt something, but he always went to Brooklyn. He always did, and it would never stop.
A.N. New story, hope you like it! Happy Halloween to any and all who celebrate it! Review if you wish!